Surviving the Haunted Woods

Fortunately, every 31st of the Month of Collecting is a spooky holiday. Yes! It’s Halloween! Halloween is a great excuse for doing pranks, toilet-papering houses, dressing up in fun costumes, and of course, collecting candy. Despite all this fun, most Neopets celebrate Halloween in the Haunted Woods and do not know the real danger that they could get into.

With scary things like rabid Meepits, dark faeries, and sentient gravestones in the Haunted Woods, you must be careful when you do your annual trick-or-treating. Fortunately, this article should be able to tell you what you shouldn’t do and what to keep an eye out for to survive Halloween night in the Haunted Woods.

Rule Number One: Watch out for the Meepits!

Ahh, Meepits. They’re so cute, aren’t they? Pink and that adorable little smile with their fangs glistening in the moonlight as they plan their revenge on Neopia... .

Umm, yeah. Meepits are rabid. Unsafe. Must avoid at all costs. You know the drill. While some pay the expensive price to own one and give it to their poor unfortunate Neopets, it usually runs away about a week or so later. There goes four million Neopoints!

Now, the main thing here is that Meepits’ homeland is in the Haunted Woods, where they run free with no boundaries. And sometimes, poor Neopets run into one and are never seen again! Make sure you’re on the prowl all night!

Rule Number Two: Never go into Haunted Mansions.

Curiosity is a powerful thing; it can make you do things you never imagined of doing... yes, that includes eating your grandma’s homemade pile of dung. One of the things most kids like to do on Halloween is to dare each other into going into a haunted mansion. That’s a big no-no, especially in the Haunted Woods!

The key word here is ‘haunted’. You got that? Good. Why in Fyora’s good name would anyone want to go in a haunted house? There are ghosts, undead zombies, and mouldy fruit left on the kitchen table! Never mind; if you do go into a haunted house, there’s a fairly good chance you’ll never see daylight again.

Rule Number Three: Don’t use the graveyard as a shortcut.

I’ve said this countless times when warning young, inexperienced pets and I’ll say this again: Don’t visit any graveyard at all. Period. Many people wander off and use the graveyards as a shortcut. Saves walking and time; simple, right? Well, no. Very few people make it out of a graveyard at night alive.

Imagine this: It’s dark, it’s gloomy, and you can’t see your own hands/paws. You’re walking, and one trip over your great grandma’s tombstone and you could fall into an empty grave. Do you know how deep they are? Very, very deep, I’ll tell you that! Hopefully you like that grave you fell into, because you’re most likely spending eternity in it.

And please, don’t even mention the wandering ghosts and spirits! Halloween is where most of the undead are resurrected for one evening to seek revenge on innocent Neopians. While you could become undead by a Ghost or Zombie paintbrush, this is an entirely different matter. While you may think it’s cool to see a real live ghost (please pardon the oxymoron), when it’s about to reap you, are you going to be smiling and laughing? Yeah, I thought not.

Rule Number Four: Watch out for the Esophagor!

It’s Halloween, right? Every living being in the Haunted Woods know that everyone is out trick-or-treating; people start being demanding. No exception to this is the Esophagor. The poor thing is so hungry, he will use his own roots to grab you and trip you when you’re not paying attention, so be alert!

It is wise if he does ask you for a quest to do it as soon as possible; he may even give you a rare spooky food in return! (Wait... what?) But if he’s too hungry, he might not even ask you for a quest! He’ll just, well, devour you whole. Not someone you want to make funny jokes at, eh? Thought not!

Rule Number Five: Don’t run into the Giant Ghostkerchief!

Yes, this over-grown Ghostkerchief is known to prowl on Halloween nights! Remember Defenders of Neopia: Mission 9, where the poor Neopets got abducted by the very same Giant Ghostkerchief? Yes, if you’re not careful, you could be the ones screaming for the Defenders of Neopia!

Usually the Giant Ghostkerchief will attack out in the woods, where there is no civilization nearby, so stay near where the action is and you should be safe. It doesn’t matter if you’re with someone or not; this big white ghost could care less--more food for him! So be careful, and some say he can even be bribed, but those who say that never seem to have any candy after trick-or-treating...

Rule Number Six: Don’t play Fetch!

Another rule of survival is, well, never play Fetch! Every year on Halloween, Master lures Neopians, young and old, to fetch some items for him. In return, he ‘promises’ to give you a great big bag of candy for your efforts.

Unfortunately, it seems like rabid Bearogs scour the premises of the Fetch! area where you’re supposed to get his Sporkle Droppings. Very few survive, and those who do manage to make it out alive never get their candy. Seems like you can’t trust anyone, including your Master...

The Final Rule: Just don’t go!

One thing many people don’t take into consideration is the fact that they can just skip Halloween altogether! You can just sit back and relax! Watch some Neovision, or read the Neopian Times. Heck, you can even go out to Neopia Central and buy some candy for yourself and save yourself the agonizing pain from all that walking!

And let’s not forget, it’s a lot safer too. When you venture out in the Haunted Woods at the shank of the evening, you’re always on the prowl of someone stealing your candy, or even fearing for your own life. When you’re at home, you don’t have to worry about it!

So, that’s it! Hopefully now if you decide to go in the Haunted Woods to gain some super-delicious candy, you know what to look out for and what not to do. Or, you can be like me and lie back in your Writers Arm Chair with a cup of hot Borovan and read the latest issue of the Neopian Times.

Whichever choice you choose, I hope you have an excellent evening on the spookiest night of the year. Have fun!

Author's Note: Happy Halloween! Thanks for reading, and feedback is much appreciated. –Jockylocky