"Whoa, Hokey-Okey-Cokey"

(and anyone else who gets in the way)

Fear (well, OK, at least look a little worried by) StrangeRoot, my designated battle pet. He is just on the verge of commencing a course of intensive training, scheduled at both the Mystery Island and Krawk Island academies, so that eventually he can effectively thrash anything that moves. Exceptions, of course, will be battles that require him to lose to gain an avatar or a plot step *stares at TNT* as has regrettably been necessary before. If that is ever the case, though, he will always concede gracefully if not ironically as he is generally a little clumsy and as a consequence we are going to have to put a lot of work in on his agility.

     He is also looking to beat the elusive Sid to a messy mass and is exceptionally livid that recently, in the three weeks we were moving house and without an Internet connection, Sid popped up on one of his rare visits. I had to do a great deal of creeping after that, I can tell you!

     So there you have it. StrangeRoot is going to be trained to be the roughest, toughest, beat-em-up-est Mutant Blumaroo ever to roam the Battledome and if he is ever beaten to a pulp, I am sure the eternally kind half-fish lady from the Healing Springs will sort him out!

     StrangeRoot would also like me to point out that he is not really a girl (as he seems to be right at the moment). We are not sure how that happened, but we are going to change him into a boy just as soon as he is done with his current training goal and extensive, expensive therapy. Meanwhile, he wanted to have a few words himself and tell his story in his own, unique way:

     How I Became What I Am Today (a transmogrification story) by StrangeRoot the Mutant Blumaroo

     My owner (carrotopian) has always had a soft spot for Blumaroos. Her first ever Neopet (created more than seven years ago now) was a Halloween Blumaroo but unfortunately, she does not have him with her any more. That in itself is a long, harrowing tale of misery and is best saved for another time, when she is out of earshot and therefore unlikely to actually cry bitterly (red, puffy eyes are not a winning look for her).

     Her son has a Mutant Blumaroo and she did once have a Mutant Blumaroo herself for a short while but for some reason, she got an itchy labbing finger (most of you with access to the Secret Laboratory Ray will know what I am talking about) and zapped him into so many different species he forgot not only who he was but where he lived as well and ended up spending all his time with another Neopian who has been very kind to him, by all accounts. I have been living in the shadow of the Secret Laboratory Ray myself and I must say, I am not particularly happy about it.

     Anyway, as I was telling you; my owner has always absolutely adored Blumaroos (despite almost being reported to “Roo Line” over the treatment of the last poor creature I mentioned) but she first became obsessed with Mutant Blumaroos whilst she was playing the Neopets game of “Fetch”. She simply could not help noticing that the Mutant Blumaroo in that game resembled one of her favourite things of all time – a carrot! Oh yes, look closely at the wrinkly-crinkly skin of a Mutant Blumaroo – does it not remind you of an old, shrivelled dried-up carrot, like the ones you find lurking at the bottom of the kitchen vegetable basket?

     Hmmm...

     Well in any case, in honour of all things carroty (although smacking of cruelty) and in recognition of Neopets’ 10th Birthday celebrations, my owner convinced me to agree to drink a Blumaroo Transmogrification Potion (that actually smells rather a lot like mouldy carrots itself) on the day of Neopets’ 10th Birthday (by when I will be moved from her Side-account to her Main Account). I have absolutely no idea what it tastes like, though (and frankly, I never want to). I have taken the sound advice of a few other Mutant Neopets I have encountered and they have vigorously advised me that I should hold my nose tightly while I drink it down and then very quickly eat some very strong minty sweets to get rid of the icky taste in my mouth! Noted.

     It took hours of treasure hunting to save up for the Neopoints to buy my Blumaroo Transmogrification Potion. Along the way my owner and some of us pets were bitten by pterodactyls, bombed with fireballs and a couple of times those scary ghosts swiped our treasures whilst we were not looking! We did find some very interesting carroty things, though, and we put them into my owner's Carrot Museum for everyone to look at. Actually, I think she is a bit weird with the whole carrot thing but I guess it takes all sorts.

     Carrot obsessions aside, we are now saving like crazy to buy Dubloons and Codestones to fund my forthcoming long training sessions. We may have to get a few games of Key Quest in to help with the supplies and I suspect there will be the necessary purchase of Healing Potions along the way as I practice my fighting skills. My owner is building me a Battledome set as well so that I can do as well as possible so we really do have our work cut out for us.

     However, I am not really not as mean as I look, though, and you can ignore all that Battledome nonsense, really – that is just a smokescreen for my favourite pastime! When nobody is looking, I like to do the Hokey-Cokey. My so-called "battle pose" image there is really a rare shot of me putting my right foot in and getting ready to shake it all about! As you can probably tell, I take the Hokey-Cokey and all very seriously and I am actually Neopia's secret Hokey-Cokey champion! Unfortunately, the other Pets are not interested in Hokey-Cokeying so when it comes to the "Whoa, Hokey-Okey-Cokey" part, things tend to go a bit flat. I have been trying to teach Salty ♥ Walter (my Mutant Slorg Petpet) and Fidget (his Skidget Petpetpet) to Hokey-Cokey, but, as neither of them have any limbs to speak of, that project has been less than successful. Still, that can be our special secret, can it not? Right then, what about a little dance to warm us up and celebrate Neopets’ landmark 10th Birthday?

     C’mon, TNT, you can join in as well - all together now...

     “You put your left paw (or hand, flipper, claw, tentacle, stump etc.) in, your left paw out, in, out, in, out and shake it all about; you do the Hokey-Cokey and you turn around, that’s what it’s all about. Whoa, Hokey-Okey-Cokey! Whoa, Hokey-Okey-Cokey! Whoa, Hokey-Okey-Cokey! Knees bent, arms out, ra ra ra!”

     Uh-oh, look out, here come some fierce-looking Battledome challengers now... what's that? Eh? Hokey Cokey? You must be mistaken, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Fidget – sic ‘em!

     *shifty eyes*

The End