The Nameless Ones - A Short Rant

I have a fascination with Capara, and I use her avatar quite frequently. When I heard that the 450th edition of the Neopian Times was coming, I planned to write an article or a short story about her. I always thought that she was related to the Kyrii hosting Better Than You because they look alike, have trophies and avatars made in their honor, and love being in the spotlight. As I started to write a story about their family ties, I stopped. What was his name again? Him... that Red Kyrii? He hosts Better Than You, but WHAT is his name? I began to search for it all over the place. I looked under images only to find that his name was listed as Better Than You Host, and I even, stay with me here, looked in the Neopedia. I couldn’t find his name anywhere and I realized I wasn’t going to. You know why? HE HAS NO NAME! What kind of poor Neopet has no name? The Better Than You Kyrii hosts weekly contests that Neopians all over the world participate in and he has no name! What are the contestants expected to call him? I mean, at this point he might as well be called Mr. Sneky because of his sparkling Fance Top! All jokes aside, I’m appalled that this famous Kyrii doesn’t have a name to go by.

After finding out about the Kyrii lacking a name, I decided to investigate the other weekly contest I participate in, the Lenny Conundrum. When I entered the Lenny Conundrum, I was greeted by the smiling face of the Red Lenny host. Ah, Finneus. Now this contest host has a name! I was going to continue my rant on how the Red Kyrii was being singled out, when I realized that the host is not named Finneus. While both Lennies are smart, Finneus was involved in the Altador Plot and doesn’t look anything like the Red Lenny hosting the Lenny Conundrum. So, once again, I searched all over Neopia for the name of the Red Lenny. I couldn’t find one anywhere. Two famous Red Neopets without names! I was surprised and disappointed. I think it’s devastating that these faces we see all the time have no names associated with them!

Once I discovered all of this upsetting information, I decided to get a public opinion. Since both hosts have avatars for their contests, I made a board on the Avatars/NeoSignatures board. I asked the users if they knew, or had any idea, what the names of the two Neopets were. The most common responses I received consisted of: “I dunno.” And “Do they even have names?” This leads me to believe that no one has any idea what the names of the hosts are. I even discovered that the author of the recently published Rhyme-Off! doesn’t know the name of the Red Kyrii. In her short story that was published in the Fyora Edition, she writes, “...said the Kyrii, whose name I still didn't know.” This research proves my point that the two contest hosts have no name. Which leads to the question, why do they have no names?

Why, why, WHY?!?! Why do these famous Neopets have no names? When you sign up for Neopets, you are asked to create a username. Then you are asked to create a pet... WITH A NAME! Naming things are obviously an important part of this site. You name everything on here. Yourself, your account, your pets, your petpets, your shop, your gallery, and even that Pretty Pink Bruce Sweater your mother gave you for the holidays. Heck, I’ve even seen some people name their Battledome weapons! Now, just sit back and think about how the Kyrii and the Lenny feel. How would you like to be called the Red Kyrii that hosts Better Than You, when you could be call Sir Coolness?! Alright, so maybe you don’t want to be called Sir Coolness, but it’s better than not having a name at all! How do the Neopets even introduce themselves to the contestants? “Hello, my name is Red Lenny and I’ll be your host for the evening,” or “Welcome to Better Than You! I’m your host, Red Kyrii!” Both introductions are pathetic and sad because the Neopets have to call themselves by their species and color.

I think the most important question here is, how many other famous Neopians don’t have names? There are many Neopians like the Space Faerie who have a generic name, but at least they are the only one called that. In the case of the contest hosts, there are thousands, maybe even millions of other Red Kyrii and Lennies out there. I understand that it takes time and effort to create names for everyone, but I’m talking about famous Neopians here! We recognize these show hosts. The Kyrii wears his sparkling pink jacket and always has a huge grin on his face. The Lenny wears a magician’s garb and has a short goatee. If we can recognize the appearance of these Neopians, we should have a name to call and greet them by.

Now that my rant has come to a close, I want YOUR opinion. Do you think these two contest hosts should have names? Do you have ideas for their names? Maybe you think they don’t deserve names because you can’t win their contests. Whatever you may believe, there’s no doubt that these Neopians are famous. They are on trophies, avatars, and we can recognize who they are just from their clothing. Just think about it. They are famous, but nameless.