Top Ten Tips to Surviving the Purge Boards

1.) Know the difference between the Chat and No Chat Boards

The two threads are basically opposites in how they like people to behave. The board for chatting (named “Untaken & Purged UN + PN. {Discussion/Chat/Drama}”) is mainly the thread discussed when Neopians say the Purge Chat. This is the board that the majority of my tips will reference. This board is for tracking accounts and pets set to purge, celebrating your purge victories, starting purge drama, and general mayhem. The other board (named “PURGES & MARKERS BOARD {no chatting, please}”) is only for posting markers and purges. This is the board where diehard purge stalkers can follow markers without the general hullabaloo typically occurring in the Chat Board. The No Chat Board doesn’t need to be bumped.

2.) Before you actually visit the Purge Chat, dress appropriately.

The Purge Chat has its own fashion sense. I know on many chat boards, Neopians do not take kindly to enormous, bright fonts and a love of the caps lock button. But the Purge Chat is not any other thread. To be noticed, basically the biggest brightest font possible will show the other Neopians that you are a force to be reckoned with.

3.) Now that you are appropriately dressed, read the first post.

I know, it’s very tempting to skip straight to the last page and jump into the conversation. But unless you are a supreme expert at the purge, you need to read the first post and the FAQs linked there. The FAQ will explain how the purge works, the order it is purging in, and other tips for finding the perfect name. Do not attempt to ask a question until you have read these. If you ask a question that is already answered in the Frequently Asked Questions pages, there is a chance the answers you get will be full of snark. Then again, how would you feel if you got asked the same question 50 times a day, every day, for over a month?

4.) I would say this is the most important tip:

DON’T POST HINTS DON’T POST HINTS DON’T POST HINTS!!!

If you have been to the purge chat, you have seen it. “I’m stalking a blue Lupe on a Brittney_ account, it weighs 135 pounds. Is anyone else?” or “I hope nobody is stalking the red Grarrl on the account that starts with agh, it’s 1,469 days old!” I don’t care how popular you think the name is, you don’t want more competition. Hinting at a name usually leads to outing that name, and then everyone knows that you are chasing Chris, Gwen or Elizabeth. If you want the pet name, keep your mouth shut.

5.) Remember: the purge chat is fast!

At peak times, there are very few threads as fast as the purge chat. If you ask a question and nobody responds, it likely is for this very reason (unless you forget to follow step number 3—then it is likely that you are being ignored because you are the 732083th person to ask that particular question today). Never take it personally. If it seems nobody ever responds to you, go back to step number 2 and get a bigger, brighter font.

6.) Remember: there are all kinds of different people on the Purge Chat.

The Purge Chat is filled with regulars from all the other boards, especially the Help Chat, the Avatars and Neosignatures Chat, and the Neopian Pound Chat. Don’t make general statements about others; it is just going to cause trouble. Yes, there are stereotypes about Help Chatters being intense about the rules and the Guild Chatters loving drama, but generalizing is not cool to all of the wonderful people on both boards.

7.) There’s drama. It is your choice how you deal with it.

This tip goes along with tip number 6. Since the Purge Chat is occupied by Neopians from every part of our community, the different opinions will sometimes result in drama. People will argue about anything from a user’s siggy to pet names to grammar. You will see debates on topics that you did not even know were debatable. I have been in the Purge Chat when a long, drawn out argument was occurring regarding the proper way to train a dog. Many times, it is just best to stay out of the drama. However, there’s nothing like a good old fashioned online argument. If you are a current, former, or future member of a debate club, I’m sure that you can find happiness in the arguments of the Purge Chat.

8.) Buy a Chomby Lucky Charm Bracelet or Lucky Green Boots.

If you are trying your hand at catching purged names, you need as much luck as possible. Sure, purge stalking takes dedication and time, but most people who get the names they want have some luck on their side. The first purge stalk I caught, I logged on and checked on the name basically the exact second it was available. The second pet name I caught I had the luck that two other names from that account were recreated, and I got the third hours later. Maybe it takes buying ten thousand Lucky Bone Necklaces or carrying around a few Bottled Earth Faeries, but keep luck on your side.

9.) Never stalk a red Grarrl.

Kidding, of course. There are jokes about how red Grarrls with popular pet names never seem to purge. Does TNT have something against red Grarrls? Are the meepits saving all the red Grarrls for some evil plot? Nobody knows... Stalk a red Grarrl at your own risk.

10.) Finally, here’s the evil fact about chasing purge names: Never sleep, or your name purges. If you don’t sleep, it will skip.

Of course that could not be entirely true, as a ton of fantastic pet and account names are being recreated daily. However, purge stalking is frustrating. There are plenty of reasons why you can justify that an account “should have” purged, but if it doesn’t purge, you are out of luck on that name.

Good luck, you are now prepared to make your grand entrance to the Purge Chat. I wish you all of the frustration, glee, and jealousy your heart can handle.