teh 1337est n00zpaper Circulation: 185,826,977 Issue: 501 | 1st day of Swimming, Y13
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

Mystery Island File #1 - The Underwater Chef


by ecilea

--------

The world of Neopia is filled with wondrous, mysterious lands and recently, we were lucky enough to visit the most mysterious of them all! Well, we assume it is. Why else would it have 'Mystery' in its name? Unless they ran out of cool names... wait who are they? What am I talking about? And where was I going with this...?

Ah yes. Mystery Island! But before I go on... Hi there! My name’s Sylenas! My companions and I are part of an elite group known as the ‘Neopian Experts in Research and Demystification’.

Perhaps you’ve heard of us? We are quite famous – no? Are you sure? Hmm... well... that’s no surprise! We’re a bit like a secret service. We are an elite task force aimed at solving the mysteries that plague our universe (like why the Neopian lottery refuses to pick our numbers!). We meet twice a week at our top secret Headquarters (disguised as an ordinary run-of-the-mill tree house) to discuss important mysteries, eat some delicious choco Neodrops and drink delicious fruit smoothies... mysteriously, of course.

A couple of weeks ago, during one of these meetings, we all realised something shocking – there was a tropical island called Mystery Island, and we hadn’t even thought of investigating it before. We hastened to our parents and explained to them the gravity of the situation.

“How can we call ourselves experts in demystification if we ignore a whole ISLAND OF MYSTERY!” I whined – I mean, maturely explained to my mother.

“You can stay here and solve the mystery of who ate all the Chocolate Neodrops?” she suggested, quite unhelpfully.

Well, in the end, I pleaded and prodded and begged and threw around vacation brochures, and at last she was convinced. Packing up me and my siblings, we were off to Mystery Island along with my buddies – I mean colleagues – who had convinced their parents.

We spent an enchanting, and at one point terrifying* two weeks on Mystery Island, enjoying the sights and learning all we could! But they really don't call it Mystery Island for nothing. We spent more time researching and investigating than relaxing, and we are STILL baffled by many things on the island. HOWEVER, we are proud to say that we have come closer than anyone else to solving the great mysteries of Mystery Island. We have compared notes, discussed at length, and compiled several folders of information on certain mysteries on Mystery Island. Such as...

Mystery Island File - The Underwater Chef

PROFILE

Name: The Underwater Chef

Also Known As:

  • We discovered he is sometimes affectionately called 'Cookie' by young Kougras on the island; however, he requested we didn't call him that - he has a reputation as a respected chef to keep up!
  • We further discovered he's also known as 'The Grouchy Grotsam' sometimes due to his impatience and temper tantrums when things aren't moving fast enough - but this is an affectionate name too since no one can be angry at the poor flustered Flotsam.

Occupation: Chef and Possible Soup Ingredient to Mumbo Pango

Primary information:

Maybe you are already familiar with the Underwater Chef. Maybe he's requested a Chocolate Chip Elephante Cookie, some sketch pie, a few finger sandwiches - and as you were trying to figure out what he could possibly make with these ingredients, he hurriedly shooed you out of his shop with his usual farewell of....

"PLEASE HURRY!!!"

Well, it's no wonder he's so stressed out! You would be too, if you were the cook - and the ONLY cook, mind you - of an extremely hungry and easily angered ancient god and your only way of getting help is by tricking clueless Neopians who wandered away from the Tiki Tour. And think of where his kitchen is facing! Imagine having such a beautiful view of the island, staring at the beach all day and watching Myncies play a carefree game of volleyball and you're stuck in one place unable to enjoy it!

Why he/she is a mystery:

  • Mumbo Pango may love his food, but we are sure he is too greedy to help out the poor Chef by funding him for the prizes in the Kitchen Quests. Neopoints and items - those had to have been funded from SOMEWHERE.
  • Not to mention, the Underwater Chef has the uncanny ability to grant Neopets increased stats.
  • Even more mysterious than these? He's right across from the Island Markets AND the Tropical Foods Shop. Why can't he organise some speedy delivery service from these two places to his shop? Or any other markets in Neopia, for that matter? Perhaps... he likes the challenge...? (watches Chef throwing cucumbers and tomatoes at the walls) Hmm... don’t think so.

Theory/Assumptions:

We all put forth some ideas and we have come up with two possible educated theories (or more accurately, two crazed and nonsensical stories) that state that sometime after Old Maraqua was destroyed and sometime before he was forced into cooking for Mumbo Pango, the Underwater Chef was:

  • a trainer at the Training School OR
  • a Battledome Champion, fighting under the name El Mondo Ceros.

At some point in his training/fighting career, Mumbo Pango caught sight of him. Here, we have differing theories:

  • Mumbo Pango threatened to eat the students and so the Underwater Chef volunteered to cook for Mumbo Pango forever to save his students.
  • An overconfident Battledome challenger claimed he would beat El Mondo Ceros or be eaten by Mumbo Pango himself. When this unknown challenger lost, Mumbo Pango came down to claim his dinner - showing great integrity and heart, El Mondo Ceros bargained with Mumbo Pango to cook for him forever and spare the life of El Mondo's opponent.

Proof:

How can he afford to give out items and neopoints? Why else does he give out stats for use in the BATTLEDOME? Why else would he set up his kitchen where he could see the Arena AND the Training School? So he can always remember his former glory, perhaps?

Summary:

The Underwater Chef was once a top Battledomer or Trainer, until he sacrificed his career to save his opponent or students. He funds his Kitchen Quest prizes with the fortune he made back when he was the top Battledomer or Trainer.

Status:

SOLVED 2/3 MYSTERIES. As for the delivery service, there was no time to ask or suggest it, as he kept throwing lists of ingredients at us. Will try again next time.

*What had been terrifying? Some rowdy young Kougras threw exploding acorns into the cooking pot when Jhuidah was out stopping an out of control coconut fight between the Island Mystic and the Tombola Man... it's a long story but the moral is: don't throw exploding things into a giant cooking pot. Not just because of the mess, but you don’t make a faerie angry... *shudder*.

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

Seeking Treasure Beyond The Cup: Part Six
"Aye, I guess bein' stuck in the tourney fer so long has made us forget where we came from."

by chimp_chicken_fish

---------

Speak no More: Fans
Inside the mind of a fangirl.. a dark place...

by laehlani

---------

From Mud to Royalty: Part One
It was surprising to think that all these festivities were just for me, but I guess most Kikos couldn't remember the last time a Kiko left Kiko Lake.

by thesundims

---------

Literally ~ The Altador Cup
Make some noise!

by pirate_cove



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.