There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 197,025,990 Issue: 915 | 2nd day of Collecting, Y22
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Usuki Singing Stars #50: How It All Began...


by downrightdude

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     For TPel and Kat, true NT Stars!

     To celebrate the 50th entry in the long-running Usuki Singing Stars series, here is a delightful tale about how these beloved stories came to be...

     “Fresh and clean! Destruction at night!” Snaw threw the blender at Sparkles. He shook his fist and shouted, “Off with my hat!”

     Sparkles dodged the blender just in time. “Don’t you think you’ve destroyed enough things today?” pleaded the pink Bruce as she narrowly avoided a flying dish.

     Snaw laughed menacingly. This was a common occurrence in the household: Snaw would run around like a maniac, throwing anything he can grab and saying random things nobody understood. The only ones who tried to reel their owner in were Sparkles and Sparklefrits, a brown Moehog who spent most of his time trying to find new solutions to their neverending list of owner-related problems. Right now, the biggest problem was Snaw’s tangent with destruction.

     “Is the freak still being stupid?” asked Scary, watching Sparkles avoid three cups. The purple Bruce sighed. “We’re the biggest laughingstocks in Neopia, and it’s all Snaw’s fault!”

     “We’ll just have to wait-” Sparkles ducked. A loud crashing sound boomed behind her. “Yeah, I’m sure Snaw will stop….eventually.” She grabbed Scary’s arm and pulled her away from a flying toaster.

     For the next two weeks, the mindless destruction continued. Snaw destroyed everything in the kitchen, then repeated the same destructive behaviour after replacing all of the broken kitchen items he had previously destroyed. And it wasn't just the kitchen that was suffering: the living room and dining room, which nobody used for dining, were also victims of Snaw’s tyranny.

     One day, Snaw was acting calmer than usual. This was because his dear friends TPel and Kat were visiting. “It is so nice to see you two again,” gushed Sparkles. She sighed in relief, knowing Snaw wouldn’t be too disruptive today.

     TPel sipped her juice. “Is Snaw still destroying everything in your house?” she asked.

     “Pretty much.” Sparkles served sugar cookies to Kat.

     “Thanks Sparkles! You’re such a sweetie,” said Kat, stuffing her face with cookies. “We were wondering if Snaw would be interested in checking out our latest comic.”

     Snaw rode by in a unicycle. “Broccoli in everyone’s hats!”

     Kat laughed. “How about you girls?” She fished the comic out of her purse and handed it to Sparkles.

     “Ooh, I love these little Kads you drew,” said Sparkles. The comic strip showed a bunch of Kadoaties surrounding a scared blue Blumaroo. “Is this about the stresses of Kad-feeding?”

     “This comic is stupid,” Scary scoffed. “Even that idiotic Snaw can draw something better than this.”

     TPel nodded. “Snaw did say he wanted to write something for the NT.”

     “We can try writing tonight,” said Sparkles. “The old typewriter Snaw found at the Money Tree will be perfect.”

     That night Snaw clamoured away on the typewriter, whipping up a non-sensical essay jammed with a bunch of different words and phrases. “It’s all about my dislike for Greg’s new kitchen curtains,” said Snaw, presenting the three page article to Sparkles. “If the NT does not accept it, we shall burn it down with pumpkins!”

     “Wow Snaw, this sure is lengthy,” said Sparkles. “And you know; if we remove a bunch of these random words, we can surely piece together some kind of story front this….thing you wrote.”

     Cuddles clapped. “I wanna help too,” said the snow Bruce.

     “Do you even know what Snaw is doing, snow-for-brain?” asked Scary.

     “If it involves colouring, I’m all in,” said Cuddles.

     With Sparklefrits’ help, the muddled-up entry was cleared of all the unnecessary words. In its wake was a cute story about their friend Patricia trying to write a fan letter to her favourite music group. Cuddles drew pictures for the story and added stickers of random Bruces. After reviewing all the NT guidelines, Sparkles mailed the letter in a pink envelope. “Now we have to wait for the NT to reply back,” she explained to Snaw. “In the meantime, how about you write another story?”

     “Never!” Snaw hurried up to the attic and began pounding the typewriter keys with a hammer.

     A Brief Intermission.

     ***

     The Story is Continued.

     Two weeks later, on a sunny Monday afternoon, Sparkles ran around the house waving a white envelope in the air. “Everyone, come quick! The NT has finally given us a reply!”

     Cuddles and Sparklefrits waited eagerly in the living room. Scary hadn't bothered to join them, and it took Sparkles ten minutes to get Snaw down from the kitchen counter. “Okay everyone, here we go!” Sparkles slowly retrieved the response letter and read it aloud:

     Dear Cassie,

     Congratulations! Your entry (The Usuki Singing Stars #1: The Fan Letter Mishap)

      has been selected to appear in a future issue of the Neopian Times. Thank you for contributing to the Neopian Times!

     Snaw grabbed Sparkles and twirled. “I made it in, and those NT losers remembered how pretty I am!” He let go of Sparkles and began dancing on the couch.

     Sparkles collapsed onto the floor. “Yes….this is exciting! Congrats, Snaw. We need to celebrate.”

     “Let’s go build a brick barn in the park,” Cuddles suggested. “That way, we can grow our own corn.”

     “How about we start with a celebratory cake first,” said Sparkles.

     When the Neopian Times came out three days later, Sparkles clipped Shaw's short story out of the NT. “We should frame this.”

     “Oh yeah, because a lame story about Patricia is what NT readers want to see,” snorted Scary. “It’s one thing to include a Faerie Shoyru we know in real life, but it’s another to add me without my content! Hello, hasn’t Snaw ever heard of ‘copyright claims’?”

     “I think it's sweet that Snaw added us in his very first short story,” said Sparkles. “Though I question why it’s titled 'Usuki Singing Stars'.”

     Snaw twirled a broom. “It’s all part of my master plan, talking pink Bruce. First I’ll write about you nerds; then I’ll gradually replace you all with the Usuki Singing Stars since they spawned an Usuki doll line. Finally, I’ll conclude my series by egging Herdy’s house and possibly burning down Greg’s shop if I ever feel like it.”

     “Oh no, Snaw! We forgot to dedicate this story to TPel and Kat,” Sparkles gasped.

     “Eh. They’ll like it just as much if they can decipher my secret codes,” said Snaw.

     Sparklefrits handed Snaw an NT trophy.

     “Ooh, this would work nicely for my next fencing match,” said Snaw, swinging the trophy in front of him.

     “Careful Snaw. It’s your first NT trophy,” Sparkles cautioned, watching Snaw jab the trophy’s point at an imaginary foe.

     “No it’s not, mysterious stranger,” said Snaw. “I have another one just like it. Except that one’s decorated with stickers!”

     Scary rolled her eyes. “Why in Neopia would the NT accept you without Sparkles’ help?”

     “It was a collaboration-thingy with a stranger I met in Usukiland,” Snaw explained. “We were fighting over a doll when we came up with a comic about Dr. Sloth. Then my partner sent it in, we both got shiny gold things, and now I’m telling you about it since I have a life of my own. And don't get me started on those other NT trophies I have!”

     “Well, I’m really looking forward to working with you again, Snaw,” said Sparkles. “I’m so excited to see what other stories you’ll create.”

     “Stay out of my head!” Snaw shrieked.

     “You better not add me in any more of your stupid stories,” Scary sneered. “The last thing I want is to be seen as a wannabe-loser NT character.”

     Snaw nodded. “And I’ll make sure that idea-stealing Snaw doesn't show up, either! That’ll show that traitor who the real Snaw is!”

     Ever since then, the NT has published forty-nine more entries in the Usuki Singing Stars series. Snaw continues to add more in Neopia's favourite series, sharing more laughs and heartwarming scenes with every entry. And yes, Snaw IS that beautiful!

     ***

     "There we go." Sparkles beamed. "I finished editing your story, Snaw. Would you like to look it over?"

     Snaw threw a vase at the wall. "Broccoli! Banana!"

     The end

 
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