Not What You Hoped For

      That was going to change next week.

      The little brown Zafara was not sure what had come over her, what it was that led her to sign up for a local talent show. She had no fear that her talent was lacking, in fact, she was very confident in her ability to spin her hoops, she had been working with them for many years now all on her own and was very proud of her progress. Perhaps the thought of finally showing this talent to peers and friends was now tempting enough to perform publicly? Or the idea of winning and the grandeur along with it had filled her head with brash courage.

      Whatever it was that had led her to sign up, it was gone now, replaced with doubt and prickling fingers of anxiety that tickled her tummy.

      The five hoops clattered to the wooden floor, the sound echoing off the walls, and her hands fell, clapping her thighs. With a roll of her eyes, she bent over to pick the hoops up. Her mind had wandered too far and she had lost the rhythm of the hoop on her waist, and with that, the rest of the hoops were no longer under her control. Keeping focus on the timing of the hoops across the body is vital, they cannot spin on their own. Concentrating was difficult when all she could think about was scratching from the competition.

      She heaved the five hoops onto her shoulder and twirled a strand of hair around her finger. These hoops had been with her through so many things over the years. They were her little rings of sunshine and happiness, something she could fall back on if ever needed. They deserved to be spun and twirled for others, not just for her.

      A few strands of hair floated like gentle snowflakes to the floor below. Twirling her hair too hard again.

      These hoops meant so much to her, had helped her grow through so many events in her life.

      This would be another event they would help her through, or at least she hoped. Maybe this heavy hoop of anxiety engulfed in flames would be too difficult for her to jump through this time.

      ******

     Three days before the night of the talent show, the young Zafara agreed to meet her friend at a local cafe to catch up over a cup of coffee. She sat at a table while waiting for her friend to arrive, twirling her hair around her finger again. Several strands had already piled up on the table below her hand.

     A brown Gelert walked through the door, and Quinnly untangled her hand from her hair, while her heart skipped a beat.

     “Kouya!” She called out while raising her hand in a wave.

     “Hi Quinnly!” Her friend greeted as she set her belongings on the table. Kouya’s smile warmed Quinnly from the inside like few other things in her life could. They had been friends for a number of years now, and Kouya always provided a sense of security and comfort that Quinnly truly appreciated.

     Kouya placed an order with the worker at the counter and returned shortly with their drinks.

     “So how have you been?” She asked with an inviting smile. Her big brown eyes looked straight into Quinnly’s, and her heart fluttered like Carmariller wings.

     “I’ve been well,” Quinnly began. “Been pretty busy, too.”

     “Oh?” Kouya responded, raising an eyebrow. “Busy with what?”

     Quinnly’s stomach did a small flip. She had never told Kouya about her favourite pastime with the hoops. How could she withhold something like this that makes her so happy from her best friend?

     “Well,” she started after a moment’s hesitation, “I signed up for a talent show a little while ago, so I’ve been preparing for that.”

     “Oh, that’s awesome! What is your talent?”

     And with that, Quinnly told her friend all about her talent, something she had kept secret for so long now, hoarding her own happiness. A slight guilt dwelt just under the surface of her skin as she told Kouya about her hoops, but it soon turned into a feeling of relief. Kouya was so interested in this development and asked many questions. Their coffees sat untouched on the table, growing cold and forlorn.

     “Wow Quinnly,” Kouya breathed, “Why did I never know about this before?”

     Quinnly, for the first time since Kouya had come back to the table with their coffees, broke her engagement with her friend’s big brown eyes. The corners of her mouth turned down slightly as she spoke.

     “I don’t know, I’ve always felt a little silly for playing with these toys meant for children.”

     Quinnly’s eyes jumped back to Kouya’s as the Gelert put a strong paw over Quinnly’s.

     “Don’t you ever feel silly for something you feel so passionate about. I cannot wait to watch you at the talent show.”

      **********

     Quinnly stood off to the side of the stage, clutching her yellow hoops in her shaking paws. Her deep breaths did little to calm her nerves. She had never felt so alive though.

     “And our next performer of the evening is Quinnly, performing with hoops!” The announcer called out. A loud applause filled Quinnly’s ears as she took the stage with a quick wave to the audience.

     The scintillating lights screamed into her senses, her heart was beating faster than ever. The applause ended as she placed her hoops around the stage in preparation for her performance, leaving a feeling of anticipation in the air so thick she felt like she would choke on it if she continued her deep breathing.

     She tried to scan the faces in the crowd to find Kouya, but the lights were so bright in her face, and the audience was bathed in darkness so it was impossible to see. Only the judging panel could be clearly seen. They looked on at the little Zafara with encouraging smiles.

     Quinnly took the center of the stage and struck her starting pose. She shut her eyes, took one final breath to calm her nerves as best she could, and signalled that she was ready.

     Her opening counts were not as precise and confident like in her rehearsals, and knees were trembling like flailing leaves in the wind. At one simple move, however, one she had performed thousands of times, the crowd applauded. She was caught a little off guard by this, why would the crowd be spurred on by such a simple trick?

     Then she realized, the crowd has little to no experience with hoops. Most of them probably assumed she would stand in the center of the stage, spinning a hoop on her waist while doing some simple line dance. They had no idea the amazing tricks and sequences she could do with these hoops. If she made a mistake, how would they know?

     She found comfort in this, and as the performance went on, she gained confidence. Less timid were her movements now, she was performing them with grandeur and determination. Her stomach was no longer doing flips in anxiety but was flipping in adrenaline and bliss. She could feel her mouth going dry, but her limbs were filled with euphoria. The crowd was not greedy with their applause, they supported her in all of her tricks, even the ones she viewed as quite dull.

     Quinnly spun one yellow hoop on her hand above her head like a golden halo as she stepped inside another hoop that lay on the floor. With a quick little kick, the hoop was spinning around her ankle, and with the other foot, she picked it up and now it sat on her knees. The crowd loved this, whoops filled the auditorium as she was now spinning two hoops at once.

     With the hoop that was above her head, she began her first trick. The feeling of lightness seemed to slip out of her limbs for a moment, and with it, the hoop flew out of her hands and clattered to the wooden floor like a dropped dinner plate. Quinnly’s mouth dropped and her hands hung in the air in confusion for a little too long. This was a mistake that the audience would not miss. There were a few gasps of astonishment, but also some light applause to support her. Quinnly’s feet were rooted in place, she couldn’t move to pick up the dropped hoop.

     “Let’s go, Quinnly!” Came Kouya’s voice, loud and clear. It snapped her out of her shock, and with a spinning flourish, she picked up the dropped hoop in one smooth movement and transitioned into the original trick with ease.

     Quinnly’s confidence had been injured, but it healed as the performance continued. Hearing Kouya’s cheer spurred Quinnly on. She couldn’t see her friend in the darkness of the crowd that was watching her, but she had heard her, and that was more than enough.

     As the music played into its final act, so too did Quinnly move on to her finale. She spun five yellow hoops on her body, all in different places, like a golden tornado of sunshine. Her face beamed like a sunflower as she stopped spinning and let the hoops fall down to the floor of their own accord. She held her final pose for a few moments while the crowd cheered and applauded. She gave a quick bow, collected her hoops, and walked off the stage with a wave to the crowd.

     “That was incredible!” Someone commented as she walked by backstage.

     “Thank you!” Quinnly replied breathlessly. Her mouth was drier than the Lost Desert, and her lungs felt like they couldn’t grab enough oxygen from the air. But she had survived the performance, and not much more than survived it. She had made many little mistakes that she was sure the audience would not have realized were errors, but also had dropped the hoop a number of times that could not be passed off as anything but a mistake. The sound of the hoops hitting the floor over and over like violent hail still rang in Quinnly’s ears.

     “Quinnly!” A familiar voice called from behind. “Sweet Fyora, that was incredible!”

     Quinnly turned around to see Kouya approaching. The tall Gelert wrapped Quinnly in a tight hug, then pushed her back to look her in the face, her paws still on the shoulders.

     “I had no idea you could do any of that, I’m utterly stunned!”

     “Oh,” Quinnly stammered, “Thank you, Kouya!”

     “No, thank YOU! I can’t believe I didn’t know you could do all that!”

     “I made so many mistakes-”

     “Stop, you dropped the hoops a few times but that’s not what people will think about! Everything looked so difficult but yet you made it look so easy, I feel like I could pick a hoop up and do it!”

     Such a high compliment, being told you’re so impressive at something that it looks easy. Quinnly felt her cheeks turning warm.

     “Come on,” Kouya said as she took Quinnly’s hand and turned them around. “Let’s go back and watch the rest of the show. Then we’ll listen to them announce you as the winner!”

     *******

     Several weeks later, on a bright sunny day, Quinnly and Kouya were laying in the shade underneath a big tree. A big blanket had been spread out for them to lounge on, along with a picnic basket with its contents spread out around them. Several hoops lay in the grass beside them.

     Quinnly and Kouya had sat in the auditorium, watching the rest of the acts perform in the talent show. Some were spectacular, others had flopped miserably. But the most exciting part was the announcing of the winners at the end. Quinnly’s heart had been thudding harder than it had before her performance. Kouya had squeezed her hand, giving her butterflies in her stomach.

     But Quinnly’s name was never announced. Not even when runner ups had been called to the stage to accept their awards was her name called. She had hoped that even if she did not place first, she could be second or third. But it had not been so.

     Quinnly clapped and smiled brightly for those who had been announced, but it would have been a complete lie for her to say she was not disappointed. Disappointed wasn’t even strong enough of a description. She was heartbroken. She had needed to work up so much courage just to sign up for the event. The hours she had spent practicing and rehearsing felt like they had all been for nothing. She was so proud of herself for overcoming her fears and anxiety though. It would have been nice to have had some external validation for it.

     The feeling of disappointment had quickly turned into something else over the following days. Her feelings of accomplishment and relief were overwhelming. She had doubted herself so strongly but had proven she was capable. There had been no need to worry. She didn’t win the competition, but perhaps this was the best outcome. What better way to learn about yourself and to grow than through failure?

     The best part was the stronger camaraderie that developed between Quinnly and her friend Kouya. They spent much more time together than before, Quinnly was giving Kouya lessons on how to spin the hoops like she does. Kouya would need quite a lot more practice to get to even a fraction of Quinnly’s talent, but this did not bother the bold Gelert.

     In the end, Quinnly did not gain what she had hoped for. How could she be upset by this though, when somehow, she ended up better than she had imagined?

     The End.