A Hero's Journey: Seasons (for issue 975)

     The sun is king in summer. If you can’t beat the heat, you have no escape.

     - Gertrude Gelert

     Normally the Haunted Woods was a place of doom and gloom, even during the daytime. But with the sun somehow permanently in the sky, most of its denizens had sought shelter away from the light – which was why the Merry Munchin’ Marbluk, a tavern half a day’s walk from Count von Roo’s castle, was packed with ghosts and other spooky types. Two old Draiks played a game with dice and a few coins while a ghost Lupe watched them silently, and other ghosts flitted this way and that, either making new friends or shying away from the attention. Only a sleeping Skunk Zafara with her back against the wall and her boots propped up on her table posed no trouble for Hestia, the spotted Kau who owned the tavern.

     “Count von Roo, casting a spell for eternal sunshine?” Hestia grumbled, waving a hand dismissively. Her other hand balanced a tray of pot pie, mashed potatoes, mixed vegetables, and fish and chips. “I don’t buy it. Why would he want something like that?”

     “Exactly!” Velm exclaimed, spreading his arms as the food was placed on their table. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell everyone! It can’t be him.”

     “Despite all the accounts from Shadow Gulch?” Talinia remarked.

     “Could it be an illusion?” the Kau wondered as she topped up the green Eyrie’s glass with the house pumpkin juice.

     “But you’d think at least one Neopian would see right through it!” Mipsy replied as she ladled potatoes onto her plate before passing the serving dish toward Rohane. However, the white Blumaroo was no longer paying attention and was twisted around in his seat, watching a young checkered Techo sneak up on the Skunk Zafara, who continued to doze. The Techo extended slender fingers toward the Zafara’s coat pocket.

     Mipsy, Talinia, Velm, and Hestia turned in time to see the Zafara suddenly jump to her feet, reach out and grab the Techo’s wrist. She opened one intense blue eye; the other was obscured under her black and white mane. In a swift, fluid motion, she pulled the Techo onto her table, twisted his arms behind his back, and pinned him down, causing him to grunt in pain.

     Rohane whistled. “Nice.”

     Velm looked at him and grinned. “Yeah, apart from the fact that she just pinned down a pickpocket, she seems nice.”

     The Blumaroo arched an eyebrow and said, “You know that wasn’t what I meant.”

     “Lemme go!” the checkered Techo complained. “I’m sorry! I won’t do it again!”

     “You should be glad I’m not turning you over to the local sheriff for trying to pick my pocket, Norris,” the Zafara drawled, her voice a rich alto. She pulled Norris upright but didn’t loosen her grip. “But I won’t be so merciful next time. Miss Hestia!”

     The spotted Kau glanced up from where she was delivering tankards of grog to a Skeith and a Yurble.

     “Got another dishwasher for me, Beatrix?”

     Beatrix smiled. “Teach this scamp to do some honest work, will you? And if he steals anything from you, don’t worry. I’ll deal with him.”

     Norris stared at Beatrix fearfully as he was shoved unceremoniously toward Hestia, who immediately caught him with a robust arm.

     “Come on, Norris. I know your family’s had it rough recently, but you should really try getting a job like the rest of us.” Hestia ushered the checkered Techo into the kitchen, but as he went, Norris couldn’t help but crane his neck and stare at Rohane’s table, watching the four adventurers load their plates and take swigs of their pumpkin juice.

     “Whoa. Aren’t you guys the folk who stopped the sandstorms in the Lost Desert?”

     “That’s us,” Velm said, waving at Norris cheerily before the latter disappeared into the kitchen. “And try not to give us Techos a bad name, will you?” Then his smile widened when he saw Beatrix saunter over to their spot. “Beatrix, I presume?”

     The Skunk Zafara nodded, placing a hand on her hip where a chipped cutlass was strapped to her belt. “Beatrix Halliday, that’s me. It’s not every day the Marbluk sees celebrity adventurers like you four. I’m a bit like you, I take odd jobs like busting some stubborn ghosts or helping track down illegal potion smugglers.”

     “You’re a mercenary, then?” Talinia asked evenly, slicing her fish neatly.

     Beatrix laughed as she pulled a chair from the nearest empty table to sit with them, her arms folded over the backrest. “Yeah, that’s one way to put it.”

     “Anyway,” the red Techo went on, “these are my friends, Rohane, Mipsy, and Talinia.” As he introduced them, he gestured with his spoon to the Blumaroo, to the blue Acara, and then to the Eyrie, in that order. “And of course, that means I’m Velm, the guy who keeps them all alive. By the way, if you like long walks, Rohane would be happy to – yeowch! Did you just kick me?!”

     In response, Rohane merely shoved the remains of the pot pie toward him. “Less talking, more eating.”

     “Or else we’ll finish all these yummy potatoes,” Mipsy added, winking and flashing what she hoped was her most mischievous grin.

     “You wouldn’t finish those potatoes without me! W-Would you?”

     Rohane cleared his throat after sipping his juice. “Miss Halliday – “

     “Oh, please, call me Beatrix.”

     “I know you’re probably busy, but…I’m looking for someone who can teach me.”

     The Zafara raised her eyebrows. “Teach you what? I’m sure a big strong swordsman like you already has everything he needs.”

     “Not everything,” Rohane answered earnestly. “I can’t do what you just did to catch that pickpocket.”

     “Norris?” Beatrix waved a hand dismissively and emitted a short laugh. “He’s just misguided and his family’s really going through a rough patch. Anyway, that sort of thing takes practice. A mercenary like me has to know how to be quick, how to duck and weave, how to avoid danger when it’s just not the right time to face said danger head-on…” Her voice trailed off. “Hmm. Are you four investigating the whole sun’s-not-setting situation here?”

     Mipsy nodded through a mouthful of potatoes. Talinia spoke for her, saying, “Yes, we are. So far, everyone’s pointing fingers at Count von Roo.”

     Beatrix frowned thoughtfully. “And are you gonna pay him a visit?”

     “It looks like that’s exactly what we need to do.”

     “All right, I’ll do it.” The Zafara snapped her fingers. “I do like long walks, but only when they’re through monster-infested woods. But we’ll get to that later.”

     * * *

     “If there’s one thing the sunshine is good for, it’s my café’s ambience,” a Halloween Bori said as she carried a tray of drinks to an outdoor table. “One Sakhmetian Brew for Velm, a Butterscotch Latte for Mipsy, and a regular coffee for Talinia.”

     “Nice, you really did draw some pyramids on mine!” Velm crowed, clapping his hands as the drinks were set before them. “Latte art is my new favourite thing.”

     The Bori left a small pitcher of cream for Talinia. “Heh, it’s the least we can do for the brave adventurers here to help us solve the mystery. Enjoy your coffee.”

     Talinia poured a little cream into her cup after their hostess left. “Rohane said he and Beatrix would be training near here. Where are they?”

     “Beats me,” said Mipsy, already sipping her latte. “By the way, did you guys see that – “

     The sound of a rustle, a crash, and a yelp stalled further conversation and the three of them jumped in their chairs and craned their necks toward the source of the commotion.

     “Owwww!”

     It had come from a large tree across the street – which Rohane had just fallen out of. Before anyone else could, Beatrix strode toward him to help him up, but he managed to stand before she could offer him a hand.

     “Rohane, are you all right?” Talinia called.

     “Do I look all right to any of you?” was the irate reply.

     “Tsk, that won’t do if you want to be a bit stealthier,” Beatrix remarked, shaking her head. “And you’re not even in a clanking suit of armour. I figured out instantly where you were hiding.”

     “I know, I know,” he grunted. “Can we do that again?”

     “Okay, but remember, you’re trying to hide from me, not giving yourself away. And this time, I’m gonna come after you so be prepared to fight while you’re in a tree.”

     “What?”

     “You’re a Blumaroo, right? You can bounce and jump and all, and you’ll be fine. Oh, by the way, I got a tip about this zombie bandit that’s got one street tied up. You might want to look into that.”

     “Me?” Rohane pointed to himself in bewilderment.

     “Yup, you.” The Skunk Zafara pointed to him as well. “I’ll be coming along for backup, but I want to see how you put that zombie away for good. Too bad they’re unaffected by sunlight and all.”

     * * *

     The Zombie Chia that waylaid unwary travellers was lurking in a clump of sickly-looking bushes that would have been out of place in Meridell’s lush green forests, a long, jagged dagger strapped to his belt. There were zombies who lived peacefully in the Haunted Woods, but this one was the kind of zombie parents warned their children about.

     He perked up and raised his head when he heard the crack of a branch overhead. A few errant leaves fluttered from the green treetop. Otherwise, nothing of note happened. The Chia shrugged and turned back to the road.

     Then the tree rustled again, prompting the Zombie Chia to whip around, dagger drawn. Dangling with one hand on a branch and the other with a sword was a white Blumaroo.

     Meanwhile, a Skunk Zafara showed herself from behind a clump of bushes, clapping a hand to her forehead.

     “Well, at least you didn’t fall out of the tree this time, Rohane. I’m impressed.”

     Rohane glared at her before swinging forward to try and kick the Chia in the face. Unfortunately, the Chia was faster, grabbed his ankle, and pulled him down onto the ground in a heap.

     “I take that back. I’m not impressed anymore.”

     The Zombie Chia raised his dagger and stabbed downward, but Rohane managed to roll away and slash at the Chia, who tried to kick him aside. Instead, the Blumaroo flung himself at the bandit and wrestled him down in the grass, sword forgotten to one side.

     “You’re welcome,” said Rohane sarcastically, pinning the Chia’s wrists behind his back.

     “Good, but you nearly bungled the job in the beginning,” Beatrix remarked. “Listen, there’s no doubt you’re a strong, skilled fighter, but the Haunted Woods is full of trickery, and you need to learn to fight defensively as well.”

     * * *

     “Is it just me or is Beatrix’s so-called ‘training’ more like making Rohane do all her jobs?” Mipsy wondered as she looked up from a spell book. As she reached for her wand, Talinia immediately reached out to put a display vase on a shelf safely into a cupboard.

     “No, it’s not just you,” the green Eyrie replied after shutting the cupboard doors and looking around the common room for any more breakables. She began counting on her fingers. “First, it was that rogue zombie bandit, then going into the woods to retrieve someone’s lost Snotbunny, and then, just recently, helping Old Mister Jenkins catch the burglar that made off with his family heirlooms.”

     “What’s Beatrix making him do now?” asked Velm wearily as he leaned back in an old armchair and stared at the empty fireplace.

     Mipsy frowned as she twirled her wand over her table; a shower of gentle white sparks tumbled onto the surface and turned into a glittery, transparent Strale that crawled sluggishly across the table. “Uh…was it busting a Petpetnapper this time?”

     “I think so,” said Talinia, watching as the Strale reached the end of the table and vanished into thin air. “A Mutant Kadoatie was stolen from a councilwoman’s daughter.”

     “Heh, maybe that’s a good thing. Kadoaties can really keep you up all night if you don’t leave enough light on, and the mutant ones are probably the noisiest.”

     “Velm!” Mipsy exclaimed. “That poor Kadoatie! The poor Kadoatie’s owner!”

     “I was only kidding!”

     A knock on their door prompted the red Techo to leap up from where he was seated. After peering through the eyehole, he opened the door and gasped as Rohane staggered into the common room, clutching his arm.

     “What happened?”

     “Beatrix forgot to mention,” the white Blumaroo said sourly, “that the Petpetnapper clobbers his enemies with a steel mace.”

     “All that…for a Kadoatie?” Talinia arched her eyebrows. “It sounds like stealing Kadoaties isn’t the only thing he does.”

     “No. Beatrix was determined to catch this guy because he also ran an illegal underground Puppyblew fight ring.” After hanging up his cloak and sword, Rohane collapsed into the nearest chair, prompting Velm to immediately grab his healer’s bag and potions. “If he goes down, the ring goes down too.”

     “I get that, but…” Talinia sighed. “It’s hard to tell if she’s actually training you or using you.”

     That seemed to give Rohane some pause. “Honestly…I did wonder about that. But she had a reason for everything she made me do. Each one had a lesson on how to use an opponent’s weaknesses against them, how to stay one step ahead, and how to watch out for any of their tricks.”

     Velm looked up from where he was wrapping the white Blumaroo’s arm in gauze. “Can’t she teach you without you taking her mercenary work? More importantly, do you even get a cut of the profits?”

     Rohane gave him a crooked grin. “Yes.”

     “Well, at least you get paid,” Mipsy commented.

     “Just like a mercenary,” Talinia added.

     “Aren’t we technically mercenaries at this point?” said Rohane as Velm gestured for him to stand.

     “The difference is, we do our own jobs. Not...get hired by another mercenary to pick up their slack,” the Techo replied.

     Again, someone knocked on the door, and again, it was Velm who opened it for a Skunk Zafara to step inside before even being invited. She had two bags of Neopoints, and she offered one to Rohane.

     “Your fee,” said Beatrix. “Sorry, I had no idea Big Theodore the Yurble had upgraded his club to an actual mace. Anyway, you should get some rest because there’s another job for you once you’ve recovered – and this one will be, I guess, an exam of sorts. To test you on all you’ve learned so far.”

To be continued…