Ellsworth's List of Neopia's Top Parties

     In order to help commemorate the milestone 1025th edition of the Neopian Times, I’ll be presenting an award for the Best Party in Neopia. *clears throat* So, without further ado, the nominees for Neopia’s Best Party are…

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     King Skarl’s Grand Feast

     Let me tell you, if you’re ever invited to King Skarl’s Grand Feast, then I recommend that you wear a pair of your finest sweatpants and come hungry because you are going to E-A-T! If you ignore his hobby of enacting general tyranny, King Skarl’s favourite pastime is eating—so what’s a better way to celebrate the Discovery of Meridell, Meridell’s merriest holiday, than with a feast?

     Held in Meridell Castle’s Great Hall, King Skarl likes to spoil his guests with the kingdom’s finest fare, including Fresh Fruit Goblets, Smoked Snorkle Cheeses, and even a Draik Egg or two. Of course, you’ll also be served more… traditional Meridellian fare, such as Buckets of Slops, Mouldy Potatoes, and, of course, Gruel… *gags* Between you and me, I suggest you don’t turn your nose up to those more traditional… delicacies, or else you might spend the night in the dungeon. *snickers*

     To round out the night, you’ll be treated to the marvellous tricks of the Blumaroo Court Jester. Believe it or not, he can balance an entire barrel on his nose while juggling Snidberries! As talented as that Blumaroo is, I must say—I don’t envy his job. The Grumpy Old King isn’t exactly the easiest to please…

     Queen Fyora’s Faerie Festival

     It goes without saying that last month’s Faerie Festival was an utter smash. Extra Wheel of Excitement spins. Daily Faerie Quests. Recycling Capsules. And, lest we forget, seemingly endless dips in the Rainbow Fountain! What more could anyone ask for?

     Well, this year, we certainly got more than we bargained for. *laughs* Probably more than we deserved, really! New wrinkles emerged in the saga which is the melodrama between Illusen and Jhudora. Yes! Somehow, Orion, convinced the two to sing together in a duet. “The two of us could have grown.. But how could I have known?” Illusen crooned. Jhudora’s reply? A cold: “You could think of others’ feelings.” *raises eyebrow* Subtext, much?

     After all, no party is complete without a bit of good drama. Heck, it almost made me forget that I was lucky enough to find a Queen Fyora Stamp inside my Recycling Capsule… *smirks*

     Sabre-X’s Battle of the Bands

     On the twelfth day of the Month of Hunting, after fifty-one gruelling days of battle, Sabre-X led the Tyrannians to victory by defeating the fearsome Monoceraptor. This is why Tyrannians celebrate Tyrannian Victory Day each year. In honour of the occasion, Sabre-X takes a break from guarding the Giant Omelette to host the legendary Battle of the Bands competition.

     Yes Boy Ice Cream, Wok Til You Drop, and Twisted Roses—the Battle of the Bands lineup each year is a fever dream of Tyrannian music’s greatest legends. Heck, even Neopia’s uber-famous boy band, M*YNCI, reunited for the occasion. Last year’s title went to Chomby and the Fungus Balls, whose groove-inspired beats and infectious sound stole the show.

     Expect a rowdy, high-energy time at the Battle of the Bands. If you go, I suggest coming prepared with an outfit that leaves you free to bang your head, mosh, and even crowd-surf. Oh, and don’t forget to put on P-L-E-N-T-Y of deodorant either…

     Eliv Thade’s Monster Mash

     Do you know what E-L-I-V T-H-A-D-E stands for? *cackles*

     You do? *tsk* Well, forget that. It’s not good to be thinking about ‘evil death’ when attending Eliv Thade’s fabled Halloween party held at his Haunted Mansion. Instead, it’s best to think about happy thoughts, because this party surely is not for the faint of heart. It’s called the Monster Mash for a reason.

     Every year, this Halloween gathering draws all sorts of ghouls, goblins, and ghosts. Last year, I finally managed to ask Edna the Witch why she insists on asking for those expensive Usukicon Goodie Bags for her quests—turns out she’s a big Usuki fan and missed out on convention tickets. *shrugs* This year, I had a run-in with the swamp ghoul himself, the Esophagor. I couldn’t resist asking how he knows the Brain Tree’s grim answers, like how Lenny Lenny met his end in Y7. His reply, dripping with a sinister smile, hinted he had more than a passing knowledge of the poor Lenny’s fate…

     One important thing. I wouldn’t attend if u-o-y h-t-e-a u-p-z-z-e-l-s.

     Annual Chocolate Ball

     If you’re anyone of importance, you’re bound to score an invitation to the Annual Chocolate Ball. Each year, it’s hosted in Neopia Central’s most enigmatic, cocoa-laden landmark: the Chocolate Factory.

     While I may not be the biggest sweet tooth, the Chocolate Ball is the one night I happily indulge in the factory’s latest creations. This year, I tried a Korbat Tail with a…well, let’s just say, quite an unusual flav–*bzzt* One moment, I’m getting a call. Lawyerbot? I signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement? *sighs and hangs up* Apparently, I’m not at liberty to reveal the details, but let’s just say some unforgettable treats will hit the shelves soon!

     The best part of the Chocolate Ball? The people-watching. As I mentioned, it’s a “who’s who” of Neopia. King Skarl and King Hagan, Jhudora and Illusen—even Punchbags Bob and Sid have been spotted mingling among the crowd!

     The Neopian Times 1025th Issue After Party

     Naturally, no list of nominations would be complete without listing the Neopian Times after party! Biweekly, after each new edition of the Neopian Times is published, the hardworking editors, contributors, and, of course, Weewoos, celebrate with a huge party on the rooftop of the Neopian Times headquarters!

     Catered by The Kelp and DJed by former TNT-member, DJ Skellington, the after party celebrating the 1025th issue is set to be the biggest one yet! That’s why I made sure to write this special column for this special issue, just to make certain that I would be on the guest list.

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     ...and the winner is... The Neopian Times! Accepting the award is the adorable White Weewoo who serves as the official mascot for this revered publication.

     With so many grand celebrations in Neopia, it’s a fantastic time to be Neopian. And trust me, I don’t exaggerate—otherwise, I wouldn’t be known as Ellsworth the Elephante. Well, that’s all, folks! If you want to chat, you’ll find me at the snack table. *winks*