Extra Cheesy Cheddar Crisps: The Knock-off Version

      As I sit here rereading all the older Neopian Times issues while waiting for issue 1025 to be released, I am continuously being interrupted by the sound of my belly rumbling. You know that rumble you feel while watching your favourite teams go head-to-head in the Altador Cup? That's what it feels like.

     Now I don't know about you, but I really enjoy a nice crunchy, salty, cheesy snack while reading the latest issue. There is just something about it while reading your favorite article, that really sets the mood.

      So I'm going to help you make a knock-off version of one of my favourite gourmet foods, Extra Cheesy Cheddar Crisps. These tasty cheesy crisps are straight from Faerieland. The recipe is kept secret in a hidden vault that has been passed down between the faeries for generations (I personally think Fyora keeps it somewhere in the Hidden Tower). And while I've never actually seen this recipe with my own two eyes, this is the closest I've gotten to the taste and texture.

     In the first part I will tell you all the items you need, followed by the ingredients list, then baking directions. Everything will be listed in Neo Standard and Metric.

     Be prepared to set your taste buds on a flying adventure!

     Items you'll need:

      1. Food processor - you might have to go talk to Edna. These aren't usually stocked in any of the furniture shops

      2. Food scale or measuring cups and spoons - your best bet would be to visit Kitchen Quest Chef. He is great at measuring out foods, though Maraqua has shells of all sizes that can be used as measuring instruments, you can also pick up your salt while you are there. Shell measurements are as follows:

      *Tiny Golden Shell = 1/4 Teaspoon

      *Purple Scallop Shell = 1 Tablespoon

      *Cream Heart Seashell = 1 Cup

      3. Baking sheets - you could try and ask the old Breadmaster Kacheek over at the bakery if he has a few you can borrow, but he has been feeling a little grey since the start of The Void.

      4. Parchment paper - I found some at the Neopian Times office, I think the Weewoos use it to keep the pages from sticking together after they finish printing. Issue 1025 should be out shortly, so they probably have some they are no longer using.

     Ingredients you'll need:

      1. 1 roll (8oz) of sharp cheddar cheese - fresh from the Techo Roller

      2. 57g (4 tbsp) of COLD unsalted butter - or half of a stick of butter, because you are cutting it in half, you won't be able to add Stick of Butter to your gourmet foods list

      3. 125g (1 cup) of all-purpose flour

      4. 3/4 tsp of salt

      5. 1/4 tsp of garlic powder

      6. 1/4 tsp of onion powder

      7. 2 tbsp of COLD water - I prefer to get my water straight from Happy Valley, you truly won't find a colder water source, but if you can't make it there in time, you can ring out some water from the Water Petpet Paint Brush. It's been added to the quest pool, and easily obtainable.

      8. Optional: Flaky Maraqua salt to sprinkle on top - this will give it a great salty crunch, but if you are watching your sodium intake, feel free to leave this out.

     Directions:

      1. Preheat the oven in your Neo home to 350°F, or about 180°C. Line your baking sheet with parchment paper

      2. Shred your cheese and cube your butter

      3. Place shredded cheese, butter, flour, salt, and both garlic and onion powders in the bowl of your food processor. Use the PULSE setting. Keep pulsing until the texture is coarse like the sands on Mystery Island. Drizzle in the water while still pulsing until it forms into a dough

      4. Remove your dough from the food processor. Press and roll into a disk shape. Cover tightly with plastic wrap, and store in your fridge for at least one hour, but up to an entire day

      5. Once chilled: lightly flour the surface of your working area, and start rolling out your dough to about a fourth of an inch thick. Or about the width of your pinky finger

      6. Use your favourite faerie wing cutter and press into the dough. Move your cutout pieces to your baking sheet, about 1/2 inch apart. This is also when you can sprinkle with Maraqua salt. You may also use any type of cookie cutter on hand, or mix them up with various shapes

      7. Bake for about 12 minutes, or until the crisps are puffed out and golden in colour

      8. Cool completely on your baking sheet, then remove when they are cool to the touch. Place them in airtight containers, or enjoy them right away!

     Notes:

      1. This recipe makes about twelve dozen crisps (really great for those binge-reads).

      2. I personally prefer to poke little holes in each crisp with a toothpick to keep them from puffing up too much.

      3. Keep re-rolling your dough until it is all used up, we don't want to waste any delicious goodness.

      4. Getting your cheese from the Techo Roller and shredding your own will always be the way to go. He is the cheese master after all.

      5. You may use your favourite cheese, but I recommend using your favourite hard/semi-hard cheese.

      6. These will store well in an airtight container for one week, almost enough time to read one-fourth of all the articles.

      7. You may freeze the cutouts to bake at a later time. But you'll have to visit Terror Mountain to keep them frozen. Just grab them on your way to pick up your scratch cards, thaw and bake. They will last about three months in the freezer on the top of Terror Mountain.

      I hope you enjoy these crunchy snacks while reading (or rereading) issue 1025! Be Careful not to get the pages yucky, because this issue is sure to be a special one. Though these will not mark an item off your gourmet list, they are the closest you can get. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go prepare my snacks for the next issue. Hopefully, Fyora doesn't come knocking at my door for sharing this recipe.

     Yours Truly,

      Ashley - Someone who probably eats more cheese than she should.

     *Please note that this is a REAL recipe that you can make in your own home. Children please ask your parents for their permission and help when working with any type of cooking device! I hope you enjoy these as much as I do.