| teh 1337est n00zpaper |
Circulation: 197,022,178 |
Issue: 957 | 1st day of Eating, Y24 |
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 | Your questions answered!
Read the answers to the most commonly asked Neopets questions this week in the Editorial section. Each week the most popular questions will be answered by one of the creators of Neopets, so keep checking back to stay updated.
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Quote of the Week
"Valenristmaween is the newest holiday to hit Neopia. No longer will you need to worry about buying candy for three holidays when one mega holiday will more than suffice. What is Valenristmaween, you may ask? A wonderful question! It combines all the holly, jolly joy of the holidays, the sweet feelings of Valentine’s Day, and the fright of Halloween into one day. Convenient, no?"
Every Holiday Day Handy Event Schedule!
Don’t go out and get a new calendar! Your eyes are not deceiving you! A recent Beta conversion of the Neopian calendar had resulted in an error of placing every single official Neopian Holiday onto the same day! A fix won’t be ready until after that day happens, so unable to ignore it there’s only one thing to do: CELEBRATE IT! |
Top 10 Neopets April Fools Jokes through the Years
The first April fools prank happened in Y3 when users woke up to find that many of their pets had a new look! While they were passed off as ‘improvements', most of the new designs more closely resembled a Dr. Sloth experiment. Needless to say, users were relieved when their pets returned to normal the next day. |
 | NC News: Neopians Prepare for an Unprecedented Sale
NEOPIA CENTRAL – Crowds are gathered outside the NC Mall in preparation for an unprecedented 24-hour sale where every holiday-themed re-release capsule will be made available at once. Anticipating long lines, many Neopians have brought tents, sleeping bags, food and drinks. |
| Other Stories |
"Celebrations for All: Doc’s Hybrid Holiday Proposal" by homsar_eggplant
A meeting room is lost in a tense silence. The faint hum of lights feels more akin to several bombastic trumpets. At the head of the board table, a purple Grarrl in the finest of Neopian Central formalwear is finding himself going back and forth between two small towelettes, as if to wipe away sweat. Investors, financial advisors and research analysts fidget with briefcases, papers and whatever else they can get ahold of. |
"Clash of Holidays: An Account of Magic VS Thievery" by sleepiestkitty
A green clawed hand waved away the pink Acara’s image from the bubbly surface of a cauldron. “Neopia News One! Bah!” Reflected back at the speaker in its mirrored centre was the bitter face of Edna — one of Neopia’s most feared witches. Her mouth was twisted as if she tasted something sour. And perhaps she did. It was the taste of their foolishness. Because how dare they alert the public of a minor mishap! |
"The Clash of Two Faeries on their Special Day" by _brainchild_
It was just another day in Neopia... or so Walda the Baby Kacheek thought. She woke up, grabbed ice cream for breakfast (because why not?), and turned on Neovision. Instead of her favourite cartoon which she watched every day at that time, she was confronted by a scene of total chaos. “We interrupt your regularly scheduled programme to bring you a special report!” announced the news reporter. |
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 | Slorgs.
This week's issue is brought to you by: Slorgs
"Slorg." |
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