The Petpetpet's Guide to Nesting in the Glade

Also by concertogreat_8

SOMEWHERE IN THE GLADE - I bet I know what a lot of you are thinking, right? Hey, I’m no dumb Moach - I can read you like a book, my friend, a book. You’re thinking, ‘how is it possible for him to have written this? How on Meridell can a tiny Moach use its tiny little limbs to pick up a pen?’ That was it, wasn’t it? It wasn’t? Oh. Okay. Never mind then.

A name, you ask? You need a name? Why, don’t you recognise me? The infamous Timminy Moach! ...what do you mean, you’ve never heard of me? Where have you been living, under a rock? You have? Oh. I didn’t realise you were the kind of creature to favour warm, damp places. I’m real sorry, I apologise.

This isn’t turning out so well for me. Maybe we shouldn’t talk anymore? No, that’s a good idea. But don’t go! I still have to tell you what this article is about! That’s it, sit right there, like a good little pet. Make yourself comfortable. For Illusen Day, that great holiday we all like to celebrate, I - the great Timminy the Third - have decided to do something so totally unexpected, so amazing and spontaneous, you won’t even believe it! It’s never been done before! It’s so unique I bet you didn’t even think about it!

Yeah, that’s right, guys. I have compiled the most extensive list there ever was of fantastical places to nest in the Glade. I, Timminy Moach the Third, have tested each and every one of these recommendations myself, so you can guarantee you’re getting the real thing! I’ve fastidiously studied, and the decisions were hard, but out of all the awesome places, I’ve picked out five top choices. That’s right, for one issue only, you’ll find out everything any petpetpet (we of the sorely neglected class) should know about takin’ a holiday in the Glade - are you ready?

FIVE. IN ILLUSEN’S HAIR

So technically not in the Glade, that Illusen has a fantastic head of hair, so thick, she won’t even notice if a Fleaf wanted to snuggle up in there - and they’d be perfectly camouflaged too! My suggestion to you would be to just dive right in. The service is a bit slow, and there have been some complaints about the air freshener, and some folks’ve made mention of ‘earthshakes’, but overall it’s a right nice place to be. It’s comfiest place you’ll find in the entire Glade, for sure! I know I like to warm up in there on cold winter mornings, when Illusen’s snoozing away.

NOTES: Warm and cozy. Occasional motion disturbance. Not recommended for those petpetpets with back problems, or prone to dizziness.

STARS: 2 out of 5. I give this place only two stars because of the lousy meals - don’t be expecting any room service here.

FOUR. UNDER THE MOULDY STUMP

So, when you’re entering the Glade, most people don’t notice it, right? But that’s ‘cause most pets aren’t really looking. About a half-metre to the left of the entrance to the Glade, you’ll see this lovely mouldy old stump. Some speculate it used to be a Money Tree, before the new one was planted in Neopia. They might be right, but let me tell ya guys, it’s a prime spot for a nice young Glyme to take a lie-down before going summer-skiing on the South Slopes. Very quiet and restful, and the service is impeccable, complete with serenades (small additional cost, but personally, I found it a lovely touch.)

NOTES: This place can get mighty cold at night, so I highly recommend bringing your own sleeping bag - bed linens are on a budget.

STARS: 2 ½ out of 5. Yeah, this is an alright place! The only drawback might be the dampness factor, no problem for those of us who like it, but us drier folk like to stay, well, dry.

THREE. IN THE LEANING TREE’S HOLLOW

You see that leaning tree over there? See it’s rotting a bit in the middle? There’s a lovely little hollow in there, don’t ya know? A little Itchi should easily be able to squeeze his way into the empty, warm little space behind the bark there. It’s good protection from the rain too - I know I always use it, I hate getting my antennae wet! It’s not the easiest place to get to, though - I recommend a bunk from a friendly fellow petpetpet, or a quick lift off a friendly Moquot should get any wingless petpetpets up there in one piece!

NOTES: Warm, though maybe a bit too much during the Summer months. Good for keeping dry, but it can get a bit... cosy when bunking with friends, I warn you!

STARS: 3 out of 5. It’s a nice enough place, sure, but beware of the little bits of bark that stick out in the night - don’t want to get that under ya shell, let me tell you.

TWO. ON THE GIANT LILY PAD

Ya didn’t see that pond, didja? You oughta come by the Glade more often, then! The pond is the best place for any well-to-do Skritch to take a nice cool down in the summer days - and you’ll often find the local Lady Blurgs all down there when the sun comes out, catching the rays. In the winter, ya’ll find the lily pads down there are perfect protection from the rain - and there ain’t ever a shortage of petpets to latch on to down there, often taking a quick dip! I mean, what more could ya ask for? Okay, so maybe the smell sometimes don’t get so nice, when it’s hot and the place starts to stink up. But yanno, you can’t have it all, but I suggest you petpetpets bring your own nose clip before venturing down there, alright?

NOTES: Don’t say I didn’t warn you about the smell! But other than that, a nice little spot, where ya can lie back, watch the clouds - but careful nobody splashes you when they cannonball in!

STARS: 4 out of 5 - I mean, there is little to fault about this place! Just remember to take an umbrella so ya don’t get yourself burnt!

ONE. IN THE FAERIE MOUND

Yeah, that’s right. I betcha didn’t know Illusen had a Mound, now didja? But guess what? All faeries have Mounds. And Illusen’s is one of the nicest spots I’ve ever come across for a holiday. It’s a little hard to get any sleep down there, though, I warn ya. There’s always some party or another going on. But if you like awesome food and a whole lotta dancing, that’s the place for you. There’re some mighty cool petpetpets hanging out around there, and if you’re lucky, you might even run into someone famous. Last I heard, ‘Lulahoops’ were even playing a one night special; and if you don’t recognise the name, shame on ya. They’re way off the charts! Big name band, and lemme tell ya, those petpetpets (or ‘P3s’ as they refer to themselves) rock out the show with their new hot single, ‘I Got Verbs’! Ahem. Editor tells me I need to cut down on my chatting.

NOTES: This is a prime spot to watch the Cheeseroller races, if you’re that sort. First-class view, I’m tellin’ ya. And what’s not to love about dancing the whole night away to a hot new single from an amazing P3 band?

STARS: 5 out of 5, this one takes the cake as the very best. Ya might not get much sleep, but lemme tell ya: Holidays are for partying, man, and this is the best spot in the Glade to do it! Plus who wouldn’t want to meet the lead singer of Lulahoops, the Neopia famous Cameron Dolks? That is one haaaandsome mootix!

See, what did I tell ya? Stick with me, kid, and I’ll show you only the best for a petpetpet! Don’t spread it around too much, though - you don’t want every Cooty this side of Meridell taking up all the space! But hopefully I’ll see ya around, right, when you’re checking the Glade out? And you never know - have a good enough look, and you might find somewhere even better than the one’s I suggested - but I doubt that. I know the Glade like the back of my feelers!

This is Timminy Moach, over and out.