How You – yes, YOU! – Can Survive The Meepits

This article is not about Meepits. Sorry.

I’ve got nothing against Meepits, or survival from them. In fact, it is something I whole-heartedly endorse. But now is not the time for meaningful endorsement. Now is the time for shameless self-promotion – er, I mean, now is the time to help Neopia with a funny, cute, and quirky article. About titles.

Now I’ve gotten there, don’t you see? Titles! Everything is all about the title! Titles for what, you ask? Everything! Stories, articles, comics, series – everything. Everything in the Neopian Times, and even anything beyond that... if there is anything beyond that...

Let me back track for a moment. Why did you choose this article to read? Why was this article so interesting? Why? Why? Why? The title, of course! The title!

Let’s look at the title for a moment: How You – yes, YOU! – Can Survive The Meepits. Isn’t that appealing? Captivating? Compelling? I’ve drawn you in – yes, YOU! And, I’ve offered you something great... survival from the Meepits. It’s witty, it’s not too long, it’s perfect! Well, except for its lack of honesty, but I’ll get to that later...

So, let’s move on from me to you! Because YOU are what this article is all about. YOU can do it. YOU have it in YOU. YOU are the greatest YOU that YOU could ever be!

Okay, I’m done with that, but you get it now, right? Articles are about the reader, and the reader wants - needs - to feel worthy of uppercase letters. So, whether you are writing a friendly article or a helpful guide, at least one “YOU” is highly recommended.

And “YOU” is great and all, but those three lovely letters hardly offer much variety with titles, and variety is everything! So perhaps we should add a few more words – or maybe even a clever phrase.

You (YOU!) might think that one should first worry about the actual article/story/etc./etc., but I personally think that’s nonsense! You could spend all day coming up with clever titles, and if your creative juices aren’t flowing, why not waste time with titles? With a title almost always comes inspiration. And for any author, inspiration is very, very good.

If, however, you have made it through the difficult writing/illustrating of a Neopian Times work of art but a creative title still hasn’t popped into your head, no fear. There is still hope!

Meepit! Harris! Turnip! Hot dog! These! Are! All! Great! Starts!

Go for the abstract! Find an odd yet beautiful word, or a word with a delightfully silly connotation, like Meepit. Or go for the random. Or go for the rejected. Or go for the word that you’ve spent all your life hating. Go for a word with meaning!

I suppose a good author would look through their work and then pick such a word from it, so as to avoid a misleading title, like mine. Those titles might be catchy and funny, and they may get you readers, but making a habit of using them tends to annoy people. I haven’t a clue why. But the bottom line is, you should probably avoid them. Of course, if all else fails, mentions of Meepits, Feepits, and fuzzy socks are guaranteed winners. Kinda.

So, the point is – get your word. Give it a personality. Write it down a couple of times. Scream it to your Neopet. FEEL the word. BE the word. Get to know this word – its life story, its hopes, its ambitions!

And then don’t use it.

Once you get to know a word that well, you get a bit attached. It’s hard to let go, and it’s almost certainly impossible to come up with a satisfying title. You may even get frustrated and give up. And no one wants that.

So pick another word. It can be spunky, kinda cute word. And then don’t analyze it to death. Simply, think of its significance and then string a bunch of words with it. Nouns, verbs, adjectives. Especially adjectives! Adjectives and nouns. I personally think adjectives and nouns make lovely story titles. They can hauntingly descriptive without ever giving too much away.

Verbs, or commands, make good article titles. Like, “I command you to read this article” or “LOOK! A Meepit”. Nouns and adjectives also work here, especially if you don’t want those random misleading titles.

Another way to go about titling a polished piece is to consider interviewing your final work. Ask, “If you could describe yourself in three to seven words, how would you?” Hopefully, you’ll get three to seven words, give or take a few, that actually go together and make a title.

Of course, there is no fail safe way to write a title. All you have to remember is – aha, I’ve written/illustrated my article/story/comic/etc./etc. The battle is almost done! YOU can do it!

It must always be remembered, though, that the title itself is extremely important. Titles and headlines. Headlines and titles. I mean, people don’t judge books by their covers, but people definitely judge a story by its title. That’s just the way life works. No one wants to miss out on a great article because it has a flimsy title. And no one wants to go buy a Meepit survival kit and then realize that the article isn’t actually about surviving the Meepits.

Titles really can’t be stressed over.

Really.

The proper title is magical. You feel it. It's sincere or sweet, silly or scary, or maybe a bit of all four. Maybe it fits your work of art perfectly – or maybe it creates some witty juxtaposition. Maybe. Maybe.

Whatever your choice – a title represents such opportunity. This is your moment to grab the Neopian Times reader. Blow them away.