What to Do if You Missed Sloth Appreciation Day

     But the day you missed wasn’t just any old holiday, no. It was Sloth Appreciation Day. And you spent it in a way that decidedly wasn’t appreciating our grand leader, Dr. Sloth. What can you possibly do to make up for this egregious oversight, this terrible dereliction of duty? What could possibly placate our sensitive, slighted master? Look no further, if you’ve missed Sloth Appreciation Day just take these simple steps to attempt to earn forgiveness in the eyes of Dr. Sloth.

     1. Send Sloth-themed neogreetings to all your neofriends, neoacquaintances, and neostrangers. Easily accessed via the top navigation of the neomail page there are a number of free customizable and even animated Sloth themed greetings! Use these greetings to profess your dedication to Sloth and desire that those who receive your messages do the same. Though do be careful not to spam, such an action could easily be interpreted as disingenuous bootlicking to appease Sloth rather than sincere contrition.

     2. Go to the Virtupets Station and insult some Grundos. They had the opportunity to serve Dr. Sloth with complete devotion and instead abandoned him as soon as his mind control failed, truly a deplorable action on all their parts and they deserve to know it. After all, anyone should be grateful to be mind-controlled by Sloth and used in pursuit of his ultimate conquering of Neopia.

     3. Show your love of Dr. Sloth by purchasing every piece of collectable merchandise pertaining to our genius overlord and displaying it in your gallery. Every piece. This may prove difficult for some users as while many Sloth items are less than 100,000 Neopoints, several items range into the tens of millions when purchasing from other users. The Scowling Sloth Coin, for example, is currently listed on the trading post for 52 million Neopoints, a meagre sum to possess the collectable image of the great Dr. Sloth but quite outside the average Neopian’s means. Really though, it’s a small thing to save for years or decades or dedicate your entire life to perfecting the art of restocking in seeking forgiveness for your terrible crime.

     4. Change your avatar and neosignature to honour Dr. Sloth. This is a simple common-sense solution as all devoted followers will already have their neoboard presence dedicated to Dr. Sloth. The I *heart* Sloth avatar and I ♥ Happiness display your previous celebration of Sloth Appreciation Day and may appease Dr. Sloth that this was a one-time incident while if you have access to it the elusive Sloth! avatar will remind Dr. Sloth of the honours he has bestowed upon you and your worth in his eyes. DO NOT select the Moehog - Halloween avatar, the Halloween Moehog’s dedication to Sloth is admirable but you have already failed to adequately honour Dr. Sloth and should not call your dedication further into question by indicating you may not recognize the true visage of Sloth.

     5. Feed all of your pets transmogrification potions. Yes, you may have saved for a year for that Royal Paint Brush but who wants a gaudy royal pet when you could have a glorious Virtupet dedicated to Dr. Sloth’s vision? Your pets may be slightly unhappy to be transformed into heinous mutants but they should have been asking to be transmogrified years ago to show their dedication to the cause.

     6. Dedicate your pets’ customizations to Dr. Sloth’s glorious rule. There are a variety of Neopoints and Neocash wearable Sloth themed items for every dedicant. You may choose to show your appreciation directly with items such as the Fake Sloth Tattoo (10 np), the My Best Buddy Sloth Cardboard Cutout (3,200 np), the Sloth Face Slippers (2 million np), or a Holographic Dr. Sloth (Neocash) or you may choose to show it more subtly through statement pieces such as Sloths Future Fashion Shirt (Neocash, available only if you’ve failed to transmogrify your pets yet) or a (clearly wrongly named) Dystopian Space Station Background (Neocash). Or both. Actually, do both. Both is best. Dress your pets in as many Sloth themed items as you can pile onto them. Ignore their protests that they’re fashion disasters and embarrassed to be seen in public. Buy doubles, triples, quadruples, as many copies as you need so your pets can all match in their dedication to Sloth.

     7. In fact, better make all your customizable Neopets pages Sloth themed. Make him your shopkeeper, your gallery keeper. Userlookups, pet lookups, petpages, shop, gallery, dedicate it all to Dr. Sloth. Utilize the wide array of wonderful Sloth themed images on the site to create a shrine to Dr. Sloth from your neo-existence. Create backgrounds that are repeating tiles of him over and over so you can stare into his endlessly repeating eyes whenever you look at your account.

     8. Go to the Art Gallery and admire all the beautiful works of art dedicated to our benevolent master by his devoted followers. Be inspired by their dedication and vow to do the same despite a lack of artistic skill. Practice daily, never satisfied, until all your clothes are paint-splattered and you haven’t spoken to anyone for months. Become the greatest artist of your generation, receive awards for your heartrending and innovative renditions of the exalted Dr. Sloth. Lament, knowing you will never have the skill to fully capture his greatness.

     9. Send all your pets to fight the Space Faerie in the Battledome. Yes, she is far stronger than the average Neopet but if you truly love Dr. Sloth you will think nothing of sacrificing their health and safety to fight his nemesis in pursuit of absolution. Train your pets endlessly day and night chasing the power to defeat the Space Faerie until you finally succeed in casting her down.

     10. Weep and beg at Sloth’s feet for forgiveness you do not deserve. Remember to maintain proper form while kneeling and refrain from getting snot on the hem of Dr. Sloth’s robes.

     And that’s all! These ten easy steps are all it takes to show your sincerest regret for failing to appreciate Dr. Sloth on his special day. Now remember, just because you’ve apologized sincerely doesn’t mean the person you hurt is obligated to accept it. Dr. Sloth, in all his kindness and generosity, might choose to forgive you, but that’s his choice, and if he chooses to punish you instead it's really only fair for all the suffering you caused him.