30 Ways to Prank Dr. Sloth

     We’ve all pranked someone at one point in our lives. Given someone a slice of Dung Cake and told them it’s really chocolate ice cream on top. Or filled your inventory with rotten Neggs and secretly laughed as the Pant Devil strikes, thinking he made away with one of your most prized possessions. Or how about eyeing your unconverted Shoyru curiously and then telling them you fancy a trip to the lab ray.

     Ah, yes. Playing pranks is only a natural part of the Neopian experience. Even the staff at Neopets have pulled their own fair share of pranks around Neopia.

     Yet, there are those brave souls out there who risk their tails to bring just a bit more humour to the rest of us. If you’re feeling particularly adventurous, why not focus your antics on the one and only, Dr. Sloth. Over the years, he has prowled Neopia searching for innocent Neopians to be the target of his mischief. Now it is your turn to strike back!

     So here are 30 suggested ways in which you can torment, pest, irritate, and generally afflict distress upon Neopia’s most loved villain:

     1. Hit him over the head with a newspaper and yell “Splat-a-Sloth!”

     2. Wear a ‘Dr Sloth Halloween Costume’ and parade around Neopia doing good deeds.

     3. Give him asparagus earrings and tell them they go well with his skin tone.

     4. Buy an ‘I Support Sloth Badge’, cross out Sloth and write in ‘Space Faerie.’ Wear it proudly around Virtupets.

     5. Next time he starts to explain his evil plan, ask him to hold on saying you should write this down, and pull out a ‘Space Faerie Pen.’

     6. Tell him his robes make him look fat.

     7. Throw a party and decorate with ‘Anti Sloth Balloons’. Tell him it was the only thing in stock.

     8. Fill his tube of hair gel with faerie dust. Try to get the extra sparkly kind.

     9. Whenever he’s around, pretend to be reading the book ‘Beating Sloth.’

     10. Drink a ‘Secret Sloth Slushie’, and tell him he tastes disgusting.

     11. Give him a hug when he least expects it. Or at the minimum, an awkward one arm side hug. If he looks particularly lethal, maybe just a pat on the back.

     12. Tell him you’re learning to draw so could he please pose as he does in the ‘How to Draw’ section.

     13. Buy a ‘Dr. Sloth Plushie’ and dress it up in pink clothes. Preferably when he’s around. If not, leave it on his desk and tell him you think it might have been one of the Grundos. If he asks which one, tell him you think he might have been green.

     14. If he barks orders at you, salute and say “Aye Aye Frank!”

     15. Fill a ‘Sloth Piñata’ with faerie treats, vent all your anger on it, and when it bursts open, exclaim, “I always knew you had something sweet in you!”

     16. Draw a moustache and glasses on any Dr. Sloth poster.

     17. Compare everything he does to the Space Faerie. Example: When he talks about plans to take over Neopia, roll your eyes and say “I’m sure the SPACE FAERIE would do it better than THAT!”

     18. At a meeting, pull out ‘The Complete Guide to Dr Sloth’ book and ask him if it’s true he wears boxers with puppyblews on them. Then state it must be true since it’s in the book.

     19. Attach a Space Faerie key ring to his master set of keys.

     20. Run around him screaming “Oh my Fyora, Sloth is taking over Neopia!!” Then laugh really loud and say “Like THAT could ever happen.”

     21. Hold your thumb up to study him silently like a painter examines his canvas. When he looks your way, say “Yep, I definitely see some Chia in you.”

     22. Point out how much harder it was to achieve the Space Faerie avatar than it was getting the Dr. Sloth one.

     23. In the middle of his evil plans, yell “Brilliant” and laugh evilly. MWHAHAHAHA. Then continue doing it again after every sentence.

     24. Tell him he needs to reread his ‘Book of Evil Schemes’, and suggest maybe his age is getting to him.

     25. Buy a ‘Robo Sloth Butler’, and order it around in front of Dr Sloth. Smack talking is good too.

     26. Ask him why he’s too chicken to be featured in the Battledome. Take a moment to contemplate, then say confidently, “Yeah, I could definitely take you.”

     27. Ask him why there is no Dr Sloth weaponry, and before he can answer, say “OH YEAH! You're not IN the Battledome!” Soft clucking noises under your breath are recommended.

     28. Wear Dr Sloth socks and tell him he looks good at your feet.

     29. Carry around a ‘Wind Up Dr. Sloth Toy’ and make a pun about it whenever he’s around. Example: “You seem very stiff today. You definitely seem wound up. Maybe you should walk it off.” (This would be a good time to wind up the toy and let it go)

     30. Sigh and keep reminiscing about how strong the Space Faerie must be to have averted the mutation ray’s beam, thwarting him from becoming the most successful villain in Neopia.

          …And there you have it. Thirty fail-safe ways to annoy Dr. Sloth. So now, foiling his future heinous plans can be more fulfilling with a bit more entertainment. Consequently, Neopia can continue to be a community based upon benevolence, tranquillity, and some good-hearted tomfoolery.

     Warning: The usage of any one of these actions could, and most possibly will, cause the reconstruction of the mutation ray with the beam exclusively pointed in your direction. For their own safety, all Neopians are advised, before they attempt any of these antics to buy a Space Faeries Shield in order to protect themsel-

     *ZAP*

     The author of this guide was unable to finish due to the fact that she has now been turned into a pile of sludge.