The Case of the Angry Archivist

     Time: Dusk

     Lady Branscilla: Detectives? I suppose you want to know where I was at some arbitrary time? Well, on with it.

     Winston: Uhhh…yes, ma’am. Where were you between 12pm and 1:30pm NST on the 30th day of Storing?!

     Lady Branscilla: So dramatic…Around 1pm I take my lunch before my daily walk through the garden. Last Thursday I believe my dear Nils set out a series of tarts and scones along with a delightful persimmon cake. I do have a sweet tooth come midday, but don’t worry for my health. There was some sort of savoury pie…Nils, dear! What was that pie you bought from the crumpetmonger?

     Nils: -Casually presents a menu printed on embroidered paper as if he had been standing in the room this whole time.-

     Winston: Gah! -Looks over menu.- Hm, yes, apricot tart, lemon tart, pineapple scone, blueberry scone…chunky potato pie…Looks like your story checks out, ma’am. I guess we’ll be on our way. -Once out of earshot of the Lady and her butler- Did you see that butler even a moment before he handed us the evidence? Someone that sneaky can’t be trusted. She stays on the list! Next up for questioning is Kenny Keynes, the tinkerer. But since we are just testing out alibis, we should talk to his lunch partner, Mr. Bibblebub.

     Scene: Virtupets Space Station

     Time: Difficult to Determine

     Winston: Mr. Bibblebub, tell us about your lunch with Kenny Keynes on the 30th of Storing!

     Bibblebub: Mister was my pappy, just call me Bibblebub. Anyway ol’ Kenny an’ me have lunch every Thursday. As I recall, this was yet another meal where I lost ol’ Ken to the wonders of the bathroom hand dryer. That scamp is always a-tinkering, I tell ya, and if this ol’ watch is to be believed, he was in there a good half hour. Hey! Get away from that!

     Detective Chicken: -Struts off with his prize.-

     Bibblebub: Sloth splats! That stumpy Lenny there stole my lunch! I’ve been saving that Bacon Belly Buster for nearly half a week! They only get better when they’ve aged a bit, you know.

     Winston: Wait, half a week old…was that Belly Buster the lunch that you shared with Keynes? Don’t they sell those only in Faerieland?

     Bibblebub: Yeah, you’ve got the right of it. Had to make a special trip and everything. Took me a good couple o’ weeks to get Ken out there, too. What a waste!

     Scene: Kiko Lake

     Time: Afternoon

     Winston: All right, let’s see what this shopkeep has to say about Ella Manner’s alibi. And keep your beak out of the goods this time, huh buddy? We’ve only got so much of this advance left.

     Detective Chicken: Baaah…

     Winston: -Shows the shopkeeper a picture of Ella Manner.- Have you seen this woman in here before?

     Treats Shopkeeper: Oh, sure thing, boss. That’d be Ms. Manner. Comes in here every few weeks or so and gets a couple of popcornballs for the road, or the sky as I guess it’d be. Let me see if I can dig up that receipt for ya. -Opens the register and sorts through some papers before handing one over.-

     Winston: 11:59am huh? Guess that part of her story checks out, but let’s talk to her 1pm fare before we clear her. -Walks next door to Kikopop.-

     Elvin: The 30th…that was Thursday, right? Oh yeah! I somehow ran out of balloons Thursday, so I showed up for my flight early and irritated. You know how much money I’m losin’ every minute I don’t have balloons?! Anyway, I remember Ella was all angry with me on account of her popcornballs getting soggy on the way, but she flew me all the same. A fare’s a fare, right? I think we were up in the air by noon.

     Winston: Noon, huh? That would put you, and her, in Faerieland by 1pm…

     Scene: Brightvale

     Time: Morning

     Winston: Sir Korinesta, is it? Can you tell me about your meeting with Gilda Glenworth on the 30th of Storing?

     Korinesta: Yes, on both counts, my young friend. Although a gentleman cannot share the details of our business, the parameters, however, are fair game. We were together from precisely 12:02pm to 12:56pm NST. And as I remember it, Gilda’s servant left her side to attend to some other business before we concluded our own. Lettie, I believe it was. The twins are so difficult to tell apart.

     Winston: Twin servants, huh? And only one was with her here. Where did she go next? -Thumbs through suspect files.- Better check with that food vendor in Faerieland.

     Scene: Faerieland

     Time: Afternoon

     Winston: -With a photo of Gilda Glenworth in hand.- Did you see this woman in here on the 30th Day of Storing?

     Faerie Foods Shopkeeper: Oh yes, this one. So demanding was she! We restock every eight minutes and it simply wasn’t quick enough for her, no! And that poor Shoyru with her could have used the rest, too. So sweaty and out of breath! You would think she had carried the mademoiselle on her back.

     Winston: -Outside the shop.- Out of breath…and the alibi has the other twin listed…Could she have ordered the twins to steal the gem for her? -Turns to his partner.- Okay, we just have one more suspect on the list who matters. We shouldn’t even bother asking after that Muscles character. His alibi has plenty of witnesses and he’s got none of the finesse needed to pull this one off.

     Detective Chicken: Baahck!

     Winston: What do you mean I’m being a chicken? I’m reading the evidence! You’re a chicken! -Adjusts hat.- Anyway, let’s get out of here and ask Snargan about Junior.

     Scene: Meridell Castle

     Time: Evening

     Winston: -Holding a picture of Junior.- Recognize this guy?

     Snargan: Haha, yep, that’s Junior all right. It’s easy to remember a face when it looks like easy coins. He came in here with his lunch on Thursday and ended up giving me everything he had, like usual. Where’d I put that stack? Oh right! -Waddles over to a sizeable stack of coins and pulls a mustard-stained note from under the pile.- He lost his first coin to me at 12:11pm, took ten of my coins at 1pm, and lost that whole purse of his at 1:29pm before storming out a minute later.

     Winston: Well, those are some awful exact notes…and it’s even got a royal seal on it, too. Hard to argue with that, huh buddy?

     Detective Chicken: Bah Gak!

     Scene: Merifoods

     Time: Slightly later

     Winston: We’ve checked the alibis of everyone on our list and we’ve managed to cross off…two names?! We’re not getting anywhere like this! We need a new angle… Hm, you know, buddy, I’m not actually sure I know why anyone wants this thing.

     Detective Chicken: Bah Gack?

     Winston: The original, I mean. Of course the fake was delicious, but that’s not the one we’re looking for. I get why an archivist would want an ancient jewel, but why would anyone else? It’s not like they’re rare. In some places, they literally fall from the sky!

     Detective Chicken: …bah…

     Winston: I know, buddy, but he’s the only one that’s going to have straight answers for us. We have to go see him…

     Scene: Altadorian Archives

     Time: Morning

     Finneus: Where is it? Why don’t you have it with you?! I can’t keep stalling the investors like this forever! Do your job!

     Winston: Hey, hey, we’re trying, but you didn’t include anything about what this thing actually was in the files. Don’t you think that might help our investigation?

     Finneus: Why didn’t you bring this up before you went lollygagging all around Neopia? The truth is, I didn’t include anything about the nature of the artifact because I don’t know anything about the artifact yet. I meant to study it as much as I meant to display it. I only know where it was found and who it was that found it.

     Winston: Hm…I guess that’s the person we need to be talking to then.

     Finneus: Oh, I do despise dealing with his sort, but what else is one in my position to do? Does the name ‘Jake’ mean anything to you?

     Scene: Mystery Island

     Time: One boat ride later

     Jake the Explorer: Oi! Who are you lot then? Have you come to hear about the time I wrestled the truth from an old smuggler’s mouth or maybe about the time I swam all the way from Krawk Island to Mystery Island? Actually…that’s the same story, come to think of it…

     Winston: Maybe another time, Jake. Today we’re just interested in your recent trip to the center of the Geraptiku ruins.

     Jake: Oh, that. I wish there was more to tell about that one. It was so dark down there…couldn’t see a thing really. If it hadn’t been for that village wise man leading the way, I probably wouldn’t have made it out of there.

     Winston: That wise man led you straight to the thing in the center, huh? Maybe you aren’t the person we need to talk to after all…-Manages to avoid hearing more stories and heads to the Island Mystic Hut.-

     Island Mystic: Welcome to my little hut. Ahhh, I guess you came here to have your fortune told, eh? Well…here it is: You will slowly decide to pretend your name is Keith. Remember to come back tomorrow!!

     Winston: …what? No…no! None of that’s right! We came to ask you about what you know about the thing that was found in the center of the Geraptiku ruins!

     Island Mystic: Ahhh, it is a different fortune you seek, eh? Two visitors at once always throws me off. Yes, I see it now… You will happen across somebody else’s trousers in a strange way. There! That is both of your fortunes! Now out of my hut until tomorrow!

     Winston: What a quack! But actually, he did give me an idea…

     Detective Chicken: Bah?

     Winston: No, I’m not going to start calling myself Keith! Winston! It’s Winston! And no, you’re not going to be Keith either. Now, come on.

To be continued…