The inside scoop on Jelly W-argh! *choke* Circulation: 111,440,479 Issue: 193 | 2nd day of Relaxing, Y7
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At the Top of Terror Mountain: Armin


by humblely

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TERROR MOUNTAIN - Dressed in bundles of clothing, two figures that looked vaguely familiar hustled up Terror Mountain. Yes, it's another Rachel and Hu interview...

Rachel: So here we are at the top of Terror Mountain. We are here today to... uh.... *nudges Hu* Hu, what are we doing in this freezing weather in Terror Mountain?

Hu: For the thousandth's time, Rachel, we are here to interview...

Rachel: -Oh I know this one! We are here to interview the Snow Faerie!

Hu: No, we are here to interview Armin. *whacks Rachel with a snowball*

Rachel: Hey! That was uncalled for!

Hu: Oh well, *sticks her tongue at Rachel* here we are at Armin's house. *knocks on the door*

Armin: *Opens the door in a bathrobe with a Polarchuck pattern* I don't want anything of what you're selling. *Starts to close the door, but Hu sticks her foot in.*

Hu: We're not selling anything. We wanted to interview you for an article for the Neopian Times.

Armin: Let me take a look at my schedule. *Pulls out an overflowing schedule book. Hu gasps while Rachel tastes yellow snow.* Interview...interview...interview...ah, here it is! I have you blocked in for 3:47, right between tea with Hannah and an autograph signing.

Rachel: What time is it?

Hu: Well since there are no electronic tools that can tell me the exact time of this day, I judge by the alignment of the sun that it is about 3:40.

Armin: I don't do early interviews, so now you'll have to excuse me while I go play with my Usuki dollies. It's time for their tea party...*starts to back away*

Rachel: Hey can I join you?

Armin: Sure! *Rachel and Armin run inside*

Hu: RACHEL! ARMIN! *Has an exasperated expression*

*Pauses and then chases after the two stupid ones.* *Finds them in a dark room playing with two singer Usukis.*

Armin: *As his Usuki* I'm, like, so popular!

Rachel: *As her Usuki* Nu-uh, I'm more popular.

Armin: *As his Usuki* Oh yeah? *Starts beating up Rachel's Usuki.*

Rachel: Heyyy... that wasn't fair.

Hu: Guys, can we just start the interview already?

Armin: Oh, fine.

Rachel: I guess we can play Usuki some other day, Armin.

Hu: *sigh* Aren't you guys a little to old to be playing Usuki dolls?

Rachel & Armin: You're never too old to play Usuki dolls!

Armin: But, my Usuki doll was so much prettier than yours.

Rachel: Was not!

Armin: Was too!

Rachel: Was no-

Hu: -INTERVIEW! Remember me? Hu? Rachel and I are supposed to interview you, Armin.

Armin: Who's Hu? You don't make sense.

Hu: I'm Hu.

Armin: That's a funny name, Hu. Hu, Hu, Hu are you?

Rachel: *laughs* You have to admit, that's pretty funny.

Hu: RACHEL! You're supposed to be on my side.

Rachel: Fine, fine. Armin, let's get on with interview, shall we?

Armin: Okay. *sits on a chair and waits and waits and waits for five minutes* Uh, Hu, you can start interviewing me now.

Hu: Sorry, I was trying to think of a question that WON'T take five hours to answer like that Jhudora incident...*glares at Rachel*

Rachel: What?

Hu: Okay, I've got one. I know in the plot, you and Hannah were pals. But, now that the plot's over, is she still a good friend?

Armin: *Laughs so hard he falls out of his chair.* That little good-for-nothing Usul? Yeah, right.

Rachel: But you said you're having tea with her.

Armin: No, that's the other Hannah.

Rachel: Next question. Exactly what color are your eyes?

Armin: Sky blue.

Hu: Rachel, what kind of question was that?

Rachel: *Shrugs* I was curious.

Hu: *sigh* Rachel, let me do the questions.

Rachel: Why? Last time you got to do them!

Hu: Whatever.

Rachel: What happened to your Polarchuck?

Hu: *sarcastically* His Polarchuck realized that the fame wasn't enough and decided to go on a long, long journey to... DISCOVER HIMSELF.

Rachel: Shut up Hu.

Armin: Thank you. *glares at Hu* I guess you don't really know what to expect from someone who doesn't play with Usuki dolls anymore. Anyways, right after the war was over, I found him on a rock. He was sitting there, as if he had been waiting for me. But then when I brought him home, I used a hair sprayer to make his fur all shiny and nice. But then...

Hu: What does that have to do with your petpet? You get off subject so easil-

Armin: I'm not done yet, you meanie. *throws a plushie at Hu who screams* Anyways, so, I used the hairspray and it made Chuckie shed all over the house. Then Mommy said that we weren't allowed to keep him. Then he was... *whispers* bald. And then...

Hu: Rachel, you're drooling.

Rachel: *Is sitting with one hand under her chin, listening intently.* Hu, you interrupted him. How rude!

Armin: It is rude! We should go on strike against Hu!

Rachel: Yeah! I'll make posters! *Runs off to find paper.*

Hu: *To herself.* I don't think this interview will ever get done!

Armin: Don't talk to yourself, you weirdo!

Hu: You're calling me weird?

Armin: I didn't call you weird, I called you a weirdo.

Hu: Oh, I see...

Rachel: *runs back* Okay I got the papers...

Armin: What about markers?

Rachel: Whoops, I'll go get those too. *Runs away again.*

Hu: You do know I'm sitting right here, right?

Armin: So?...

Hu: Just making sure.

Hu: So how's life as a Neopian Star?

Armin: It's alright, but the fan girls get a little annoying. *Loud knocking is heard at the door and screams of joy.* Hide! *Dives under the couch.*

Fan girls: *Break down the door.* Where's Armin?

Hu: Um, uh, he's uh, dead. Yeah, he's dead, so you better leave now.

Fan girls: Nooooo. *screams and go back out the door.*

Armin: *Comes back out.* Thanks, you saved me. Phew.

Hu: No problem. Do I get a favor now?

Armin: Sure. What would you like?

Hu: Hmm... how about-

Rachel: *runs back* Okay, I got the markers and the poster. So wh-

Hu: -How about you just do this interview and forget about putting rallies against me?

Armin: *sigh* Fine.

Rachel: But I don't wanna do an interview, I wanna play with the Usuki dolls and I wanna draw an ugl- I mean very beautiful picture of Hu! Hu, you're so mean and you're no fun!

Hu: *another sigh* Rachel, go draw or whatever you want to do.

Rachel: Okay! *grin and starts drawing stuff on a paper*

Hu: Anyways, Armin, do you still talk to Kanrik?

Armin: Who is that?

Hu: Uh... the very shady guy in the cloak...?

Armin: Oh yeah, that dude. He's so ugly and he really needs to brush his teeth and he...

Hu: -Please stay to the question. Do you still talk to him?

Armin: You're no fun! Well, no I don't because he's evil!

Hu: That's nice.

Armin: Seriously, he is. He's secretly working with Masila to bring back the Thieves' Guild.

Hu: Do you have any proof of this?

Armin: Just these pictures. *Holds up pictures.*

Hu: *Grabs pictures.* Armin, these are a bunch of pictures cut out and taped together.

Armin: So what? I said they were pictures.

Hu: *sigh* Anything else?

Armin: Oh and he's also planning to rule Jelly World with Masila.

Hu: Wow, how interesting. *coughs*

Rachel: *Holds up a hideous picture of Hu.* Pwetty!

Hu: How about you interview and I color, Rachel?

Rachel: But I want to col-*Hu shoves Rachel in the direction of Armin and continues the coloring.*

Rachel: *sigh* Fine. Hu is such a big fat MEANIE. What is your full name Armin?

Hu: You do realise I can still hear you?

Rachel: Yup.

Armin: Arminous Frances Fyoro III Bori.

Rachel: And you're named after....?

Armin: Mommy said that she likes Fyora a lot. They were going to name me Arminousa Franchesca Fyora III Bori, but I was a boy. Frances is my Daddy's name, and Arminous means small warrior in Bori language.

Rachel: So should we call you Arminous Frances Fyora- I mean Fyoro III Bori?

Armin: NO! Just call me Armin.

Rachel: So who are you the " III" of?

Armin: Oh Mommy just put it at the end because it sounded cool.

Rachel: Oh, um, okay... *looks at the clock* It's 4:00. Cool.

Hu: *looks up* FOUR O'CLOCK? My manicure and pedicure at the parlor is at 4:10! *drops her markers and grabs Rachel's hand*

Rachel: Ahhhh... Hu...can't you slow down?!

The two dash out the door and out of view for the readers and Armin. Armin looks on.

Armin: Bye and be careful of the..

He cringes when he hears a loud thud and yelling.

Armin: The... ice.

Back at the bottom of the mountain...

Hu: Well, we sure slid our way out of that one... heheh... anyways...

Rachel: Hope you enjoyed this interview.

Hu: And don't forget to hide from the Meepit stampede.

Rachel: B-what Meepit stampede? That wasn't in the script-

A large group of Meepits run where the two writers were standing. Moral of the article? Don't stand in the middle of a stampede.

A/N: Here is another, wacky, insane, crazy interview, done by yours truly. Please Neomail us comments. ^^;

 
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