The Free Foods of Neopia

Giant Omelette

A giant egg from who knows where frying in the sun for days on end...

Well, first of all, use your common sense! It's a giant egg that's been lying in the dusty plateau that is Tyrannia. Do you really think that it's safe to eat? But of course, there are the n00bs who have pets ready to keel over from the neglect (they must be spending all their time asking around for free paint brushes) that could really use some nutrition. But is a giant fried omelette going to have any vitamins, minerals, or low cholesterol? I don't think so.

Also, how does it get all those different ingredients in there? The creature who laid this egg must've had a pretty festive diet. Do you really want to eat leftover ingredients in a giant omelette that's been sitting out for days, with little grubby hands picking at it every second of the day?

The Bright Side:

Your pets can be fed three times with one omelette once a day.

The Down Side:

They might get sick from germs left by other pets.

Giant Jelly

Yes, another one of the giant mysteries of Neopia: the Giant Jelly. This one is even stranger than Tyrannia's Giant Omelette. Who could've made such a giant dessert? And why does it not melt through the summer days or freeze during the harsh winters? Perhaps Jelly World has a perfect climate... like Mystery Island. Is it possible that Jelly World is somewhere near the tropical island? Though I've always gotten there through... I'm sure there are other ways to reach JW.

But back to the point of this article.

Jelly must be sticky, therefore things will stick to them. But the entire world is made of gelatinous goodness, so I'm sure dirt is not a problem. Unless it's Jelly Dirt. But then it would be good, wouldn't it? But if this land of jelly is actually somewhere other than the beautiful land of Mystery Island, then I'm sure that it has some sort of weather. But I don't think even TNT knows too much about this land. I mean sheesh, it took them many years to find the other side of Neopia. :p So maybe, just maybe, JW has jelly weather. For example, during winter, little jellyflakes fall from the sky and during spring, little jelly drops fall from the jelly sky.

But you must think that one day, one day, the giant Neopet or owner who created the giant jelly will come back to find that its dessert has gone. And you wouldn't want to be the unlucky one who is there looking for the last tiny piece to feed your pets, now would you?

The Bright Side:

You can almost always grab a piece of this delicious wonder.

You don't have to worry about dirt.

The Down Side:

You might get eaten by the creator of the Giant Jelly.

You might get stuck inside one day.

Soup Kitchen

Now this is one freebie food that I totally agree with. The kind Soup Faerie taking her time to prepare gallons and gallons of fresh soup everyday for the poor and needy of Neopia. With her Faerie magic, she can make sure that there are no germs or dirt, and also make very delicious broth with her wings tied behind her back (wait, aren't they always behind her back?).

There is nothing bad I can say about this except for one minor detail... the line to get to her food must stretch through Maraqua, Terror Mountain, and even Mystery Island.

The Bright Side:

You can get healthy, yummy food more than once a day.

The Down Side:

You need to be poor to get some.

The line must be very, very long.

Tombola

When you stop by Mystery Island, there's always a friendly islander's face there to greet you. They also want your money. But there is one small shack near the sandy shores that is what you would call a "daily." And, in fact, you can actually get some food there once in a while, when you win. It could be a Can of Prunes, or a weird experimentation abomination. But either way, it's food (Except those blasted olives...) and it is free.

Now, once again we will ponder on the importance of following the health codes of Neopia. Does he have a fridge? Have you seen a fridge? I don't think so! So all that food that you're munching on happily as you walk away to the boat to take you make to the mainland is completely ridden with bacteria. Yughk!

But of course, I'm sure somebody from TNT would've done something about that, right? WRONG! I tell you, they're all controlled by evil little Meepits and Fuzzles that want to take over the world! And I wouldn't be surprised if the fact that we haven't heard about anything from Dr. Sloth is because he's part of the whole conspiracy! Part of it all, I tell you!

*is dragged away by mutant Grundos in white coats*

No! The truth will be revealed I tell you! You have to listen to me!

*rushes back to finish article*

Must... tell... world... about... EVIL!!!

So we have gone over the pros and cons of only a few of the freebie foods of Neopia, but I think you get my point. Even if it says it's free, you have to pay something. Whether it be getting sick, being germophobic for the rest of your freebie-eats-only life, or *cough* even TOTAL CONQUEST OF NEOPIA! Meepits-will-control-the-world! ... Along... with... peanut... butteeeerrrrrrrr!!