Surviving the Help Chat

Having spent many a day sifting through the spam of HC, I decided to finally create a guide to actually getting help while still being polite. HC is a scary place, full of elite (or at least they think they are) players and n00bs by the truckload. I set out with Entstellt, my delightful little Aisha to help you help yourself!

Abbreviations

Leaning the abbreviations used on HC will certainly help you very much.

HC: Help Chat

HCer: someone who works on HC

Lol: Laugh out Loud

Lawls: Sarcastic version of Lol

Ttyl: talk to you later

FTW: For the win

FTP: First to post

NTY: “Not to you” or “No Thank You”

BUMP: Bring Up My Post

Big No-Nos

Do. Not. Beg. EVER. “Asking politely” is still begging! Even if you just want dung, it is still begging no matter how nicely you ask. Donations are also begging.

Caps lock is the bane of all HCers. We are not particularly inclined to help someone who makes our eyes bleed.

Please, please, please do not use chatspeak. It isn’t easy trying to decipher what someone means by ‘lolz! plz h31p meh!11!! 1 n33d a kr4wk r311y b4d1y!!11!’. Yuppers, Entstellt is going to beat the snot out of me for typing that.

False topics are also very bad; they are also potentially freezable offense. You will get many flamers who will just insult and belittle you for doing such a thing.

Don’t insult those who want to help you! Golly, why would that be a good idea?

To ask or not to ask

When do you really need to post on HC? This can be difficult to explain, but many questions can be easily found out by wandering around Neopets for a while. Many also have to do with common sense. Do you REALLY think that a Krawk is going to be sold at the food shoppe?

Step-By-Step

1. Here is a step-by-step way to get the help you need.

Start by clicking on new topic and typing out your question. Your topic will be bolded so that you can see it easily again. Always try to use proper grammar in your opening post and clearly stating what you need in that first post, because it is the most important post of your topic.

2. Do not bump your board until it slips past the first page. It makes it look like someone has already responded to your post, making it look like you no longer need help.

3. Try not to ask for HTML help; many Neopians have no idea how to help you code your user lookup. If you absolutely have to ask, be prepared for a fairly long wait, and you may get a few false positives (people who claim that they will help you but just leave).

4. If your board keeps falling down the chart, bump your board, but sparingly.

5. If your board is getting autospammed, just leave it be. There is nothing you can do to stop autospammers, and you will simply get frustrated

6. Once you get the help you need, please let the board die.

Simple etiquette

One of the biggest mistakes someone can make is to offend the HCers. They are not only ruthless, but they will remember you. Forever. *Gets hit by Entstellt* Okay, maybe not forever, but a pretty long time! The guidelines are not as strict as ‘Big No-Nos’ but they are helpful to know, and just might prevent you from being reported.

1. Do not post about your family issues. HC is only for Neopets related help. Anything else is spam!

2. As already stated in ‘Big No-Nos’, do not use Chatspeak!

3. Golly. If you find someone who breaks the rules, never post that you reported them. It is considered spam and could get you in trouble with The Neopets Team.

4. Always read the rules before you post for the very first time!

5. Opinion questions can get tiring after a while, same with Lab Ray results. While it is good to know what others might think of your soon to be Baby Xweetok, it is rather pointless to post it on HC.

6. If you have multiple questions, please put them all on one board; do not make multiple boards for multiple questions!

7. Before asking someone to price check something for you, try using the Shop Wizard first.

8. Do. Not. Advertise. Your. ANYTHING. Gah. There are other boards for Shop Ads, Beauty Contests, Auctions, Guilds or what have you. HC is not the place.

9. Try not to get into heated arguments with other users; it makes you look bad.

10. Don’t ask ridiculous questions. (How to change your pet's name, for example.)

How to be a good HCer

Oh, new HCers, we have not forgotten you. Okay, I did, but Entstellt reminded me of you guys! There is more to working HC than simply answering questions and dashing off.

1. Always, always, always be sure of your information before posting it! If possible, cite your rule or editorial.

2. Do not make your own board asking others to come to you to get their questions answered. It is so much more efficient to visit their boards.

3. Try to be polite. Newbies often make mistakes on the boards. Don’t get all up in a fuss about it; try to inform them of their mistakes and move on. If they don’t listen, then that is their loss.

4. If you happen to give incorrect information, try to respond to the person and fix any problems they may have encountered.

5. Don’t fight with senior members. Just don’t; it makes you look very, very rude.

6. Above all, do not, do not, do not, do NOT complain about helping someone; golly, that is one of the worst things you can do!

Entstellt and I certainly hope that this has helped you in your quest to understand HC, or at least left you feeling someone less empty inside (playing too much PetPet Cannonball does that to you). Should you have any more questions and would like me to go into more detail, I beg that you neomail me, as opposed to sitting at your computer looking dazed and drooling all over your keyboard.

PS: Luna and Entstellt are not liable for any drool related damages done to your computer.