Quest for Etiquette

DON’Ts...

1. Never, ever, EVER quit in the middle of a game just because your opponent is winning. Sure, you can quit games where the computer’s smoking your behind, but you can’t do the same to people. First off, you’re denying that person their well-deserved victory and their prizes. Second, you also get prizes and neopoints just by completing the game at that point. Third, you’ve just wasted your time and the time of someone else. So what if you don’t win? It’s not like it’s going to go against your record or anything. There really aren’t any records. So be courteous and play the game through. Now, if you have to leave because you have a dentist appointment *shudder*, then you should have known better than to engage in a Key Quest game, since they can be quite long. The only real excuses you have to abandon a game are: Your computer crashes, you just got attacked by Meepits, or your mom yells at you to help bring in groceries. But as a note, I will send Meepits to attack you if I find out you just quit a game. Beware... those fangs hurt.

2. Don’t put down your opponent. If you’re creaming them in every mini game and you have nearly all the keys while they only have one, don’t go into the chat list and post a mean comment like ‘Haha, you lost!’. Because unless you’re playing against your friend, the other person will probably feel really bad about themselves. They already know they’re losing, so just don’t rub it in their face. Unless you want someone else to do the same for you, then just let them be.

3. Don’t throw your computer out the second story window just because the game won’t load. Now, this may seem to have nothing to do with manners, but really it has everything to do with them. The polite thing to do is to either sit and wait, since the game is still in its testing phase, or secretly plot against TNT. After all, it’s their fault, and you don’t want your computer to fall on someone’s head, now do you? That’s not exactly the type of present passersby like to receive.

4. Don’t ‘yell’ at your opponent through the chat box when they win one of the mini games or more, because chances are it’s entirely your fault. You probably didn’t read the instructions well enough, you weren’t observant of what was going on, or you just have a Stone Age computer. Nothing your opponent can control. Now, you can literally yell at the computer monitor and they’ll never know a thing and you’ll be satisfied. Or you can draw what you think their face looks like on a piece of paper, soak it in Borovan, tear it in half, stuff it in a rocket... Uh... well... you get my point. That way you get your revenge without really hurting the other person. Isn’t that much better?

DOs...

1. Please be a good sport. When you win, send words of encouragement to your opponent. Chances are it’ll be appreciated. If not, then that’s their problem. The same applies the other way, too. When you lose, don’t have a hissy fit and complain tens of times that you should have won, that the game cheated, blah blah blah. If you do happen to have an outburst, I suggest you get help. My offices are open from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., and there are plenty of comfy couches available.

2. Do try your hardest. Winning isn’t very rewarding if your opponent practically gives the game to you. Besides, anything can happen in the game, so you don’t want to pass up a chance at winning because you decided to throw in the towel... or token... or... whatever.

3. If you had more fun than usual playing against someone, don’t be afraid to let them know. Post something on the chat board for them to see, or send them a neomail if you want. It’s possible you might make a new friend!

Now you should know the basics of playing games with other people. You may think, “But others don’t care how I treat them anyway, since I’ll never really meet them,” or something along those lines. But I assure you, even though you may only have contact with them for only a moment or two, saying (or typing) some kind words can still brighten someone’s day. And besides, you never know when your opponent has a legion of attack Meepits at their command.

* Just as a note, I’m not really a psychiatrist. Nor do I have an ‘office’. That little part was just a joke. All I have is a Neohome filled with hyperactive pets.

** Another note, I’m not joking about those attack Meepits. If I had wings, I’d be considered the Meepit Faerie. Maybe. Or I could be the Cake Faerie, making cookies and cakes for all. Or maybe I’m daydreaming and writing and article on an empty stomach.