Neopian Trend Watch: Back to School

ROALD: Cassie, your makeup looks fine.

CASSIE: No it doesn’t! I look ugly! I—are we rolling?

ROALD: Yes. Unfortunately.

CASSIE: Oh. (Puts mirror away) Hey, Neopia! I’m Cassie on Neopian Trend Watch! Today we take a look at the newest autumn—

ROALD: Autumn? I thought this was the Mutant Day episode.

CASSIE: No, no. I have the papers right here. (Pulls out a binder full of papers and begins to search through them. After a few minutes, she waves a sheet of paper in Roald’s direction. It says, “BACK-TO-SCHOOL EDITION.”)

ROALD: Oh. Carry on, then.

CASSIE: As I was saying, in honor of school starting up again, we’re showing you the hottest fall fashions.

ROALD: Oh, joy.

CASSIE: Shut up, Ro—I mean, kindly refrain from interrupting the show. Some people actually have an interest in fashion, you know.

ROALD: I can’t imagine why. But do go on, for the sake of those poor souls.

CASSIE: (Looking directly at camera again) So, let’s start our trend watch!

School Girl Hat

CASSIE: This cute hat will surely set you apart from other pets as you head back to the hallways. It’s even in this season’s hottest new color—royal blue! The yellow star accent is sure to please.

ROALD: But I beg you, only wear this if you’re a girl. Seriously.

CASSIE: Please leave the commenting to me, Roald.

Woollen Cap

CASSIE: As the days get colder, you’ll definitely want something to keep you warm. This cap is top notch for that and so much more! Its warm wool is stylish and functional at the same time.

Basic White Shirt

CASSIE: This basic item is a school uniform must-have. You can pair so much with it!

ROALD: I hate fashion, but even I can tell that’s the most boring shirt ever made.

CASSIE: (Whispering) Shh! The General Store told me to include this. I’m getting paid by how many times I mention it. (Smiling at camera) Uh... Basic White Shirt!

My Sisters Frilly Skirt

CASSIE: The perfect item for the girl who wants to be a princess. Wear this to school and all the other pets will be jealous!

ROALD: Who on earth would be jealous of fifty yards of pink tissue paper and glitter?

CASSIE: Silly, it’s not tissue paper. That wouldn’t hold up if it rained!

ROALD: Does this actually hold up when it rains?

CASSIE: Well... no... but it’s still pretty! Just like the Basic White Shirt! (Smiles desperately at camera)

Wellington Boots

CASSIE: It’s going to be raining more and more as we make the slow transition from summer to winter. Keep Wellington Boots stocked so you can make the most of those puddles!

ROALD: (Raises eyebrow) Isn’t that spring that rains more?

CASSIE: No! It’s not! I have the research right here... (Digs through the binder full of papers again) Here! It’s here! (Shows camera a sheet of paper that says, “FALL RAINS MORE.”)

Shell Hairbow

CASSIE: One of the best things about autumn is wishing it was still summer! Keep summer around longer with this cute, summery hair-bow. If you hold it up to your ear, you can even hear the ocean. Great for tuning out the teacher during class.

ROALD: Even better than the ocean, you can also hear your conscience telling you to pay attention and stop listening to seashells.

CASSIE: Pfft. I ignore my conscience. Especially when it tells me to stop mentioning the Basic White Shirt.

Spectacles of Perception

CASSIE: Can’t see the blackboard? These glasses are just the thing for you. Plus, they look absolutely classy with the Basic White Shirt.

ROALD: However, if you have depth perception issues, this isn’t going to help you. Pretty misleading name for the item, really.

Pteradactyl Plushie

CASSIE: Little ones will love taking this cute and cuddly little friend to class with them.

ROALD: Just make sure they don’t try to attack other kids with it.

CASSIE: Nobody does that.

(A small Acara runs through the studio, chasing a pack of other young pets with a Pteradactyl Plushie.)

CASSIE: I... don’t know what to say to that.

ROALD: I know exactly what you should say. BASIC WHITE SHIRT!

Mystery Island Training School Background

CASSIE: For those who aren’t in regular Neoschool, the Mystery Island Training School may be your best bet. This background shows off your school pride!

ROALD: Before you enroll, make sure your pet actually knows what he’s getting into. I’ve seen pets get pummeled there. (Shudders) Not pretty.

Classroom Background

CASSIE: More of a traditional classroom format, but it’s still super trendy!

ROALD: Screaming little kids, obnoxiously colorful EVERYTHING, homework—the very definition of trendy.

CASSIE: I really do not appreciate your comments.

ROALD: (Shrugs) Do I care? Not really.

Stylish Purple Tunic

CASSIE: One of my all-time favorite items, the Stylish Purple Tunic is so stylish that it even has stylish in the name!

ROALD: Stop saying ‘stylish.’

CASSIE: Stylish!

Artist Smock

CASSIE: Don’t want to get your shirt all messy during art class. This tunic will help keep the paint where it belongs.

ROALD: The paint belongs on the smock?

CASSIE: Darn right it does.

Pant Devil Pants

CASSIE: These are absolutely the most fashionable thing you could possibly buy right now. Research and polls have shown that more people prefer these pants than the Scary Witch Mask! You just know it has to be totally popular if it’s more well-liked than the Scary Witch Mask, a Halloween and back-to-school classic.

ROALD: They look like underpants.

CASSIE: Well, they’re not.

ROALD: So, kids, if you want little Pant Devils parading all over your tightie-whities, be sure to keep a look out for these beautiful pants.

CASSIE: (Shooting him a glare) And they go perfectly with the Basic White Shirt!

ROALD: (Mumbles to self) Everything goes perfectly with the Basic White Shirt. It’s white! Nothing clashes with white!

CASSIE: Well, we’re almost out of time, so that wraps up the Back to School Edition of Neopian Trend Watch! Keep an eye on those fashions so you can be top of your class! Until next time.

ROALD: I think you forgot something.

CASSIE: Oh, right! Basic White Shirt, everyone!