The Absolutely Terrible Quest For A Mootix

     I had such a good attitude. How did it go wrong?

     Well, It wasn't a sunny, glorious day, for starters. But even though sheets of rain fell from the sky and wind chilled me to my bones, I still sprinted out to Illusen's Glade. This may sound like an impossible feat, especially coming from Meridell. It definitely wasn't easy. But I had been doing it for months, so I knew what to expect.

     Still, my moods were dampened by the time I got to Illusen's Glade. They came back in full swing, however, when I saw her appear in front of me. She gently held out her hand.

     "Have you come for a quest?"

     "Yeah! I'm on my final one! Do I get some sort of special recommendation now, or what? Thanks for all the stuff so far. If you ever want any more help after this-"

     "I need you do find me a 'Mootix'," she said, and disappeared. Still right to the point, as always.

     I pushed the sixteen-minute timer on my watch. It would beep at five minutes, warning me that Illusen didn't wait forever.

     I wasn't too surprised that she requested something so rare and valuable. I was prepared--she had been asking for super-expensive stuff ever since quest 34. I had a LOT of Neopoints saved. A Mootix was no problem. Or so I hoped.

     I sprinted over to the Bank and drew out five hundred thousand Neopoints. I figured that would cover anything.

     I oohed and ahhed over the expensive paint brushes, codestones, and morphing potions until I reached the Mootix section. I stopped once--a Camouflage Eyrie Morphing Potion caught my eye and I just had to look at it. I'd always wanted to be an Eyrie--my green Gelert body was not exactly distinct. I glanced at my timer--was there time to buy it?--and nearly choked. Somehow I had wasted seven minutes! I ran as fast as my Gelert legs could take me--and that's pretty fast--toward the Mootix section.

     When I reached it I just had to scoop up the first one I saw. It was so cute! The little green body, huge eyes--I could see why Illusen wanted one.

     "Hands off the merchandise!" barked an angry-looking Tuskaninny. I backed away--without the Mootix--and went to the next stand. This time I looked right at the price--and gasped. Eight hundred and fifty thousand Neopoints? A million automatic? What was the world coming to? My stomach clenched. I searched among the tables for a lower price.

     Luckily none of the other tables were quite so high. Still, the lowest I found was six hundred and fifty thousand. A hundred and fifty thousand more than I was carrying.

     Except for the angry Tuskaninny dude. His price was six hundred thousand even. But there was no way I was going to support that guy--way too rude. I ran back to the bank.

     After retrieving another one hundred and seventy-five thousand neopoints (bringing my total to 675,000 NP, just to be safe) I ran back to the Trading Post. My watch beeped five minutes.

     I sprinted to the six-fifty seller as fast as I could, dodging people. When I got there, I reached into my bag and handed him six hundred and fifty thousand big ones. Unfortunately he wasn't there. I checked his lookup--it had been a week since he'd been on. It was a no-go.

     Same with the other six-fifty. I scanned the crowd--were there any more? Nope.

     I sighed heavily. The next cheapest was seven hundred thousand. Why, oh, why, I berated myself, didn't I take out the extra twenty thousand? I checked my watch--three minutes. No time for another bank trip. I sighed again and walked stiffly over to the Tuskaninny.

     "I'd like to buy your Mootix."

     He was about to open his gray-whiskered mouth with a jibe. I just knew it. I braced myself for the inevitable.

     And then... something happened. A flash of bright light pierced my eyes, a weird beeping noise berated my ears, and a strange-looking blue Acara who wore rumpled clothes appeared in front of me. The rest of the world was oblivious as she said,

     "All your Neopoints have been stolen,

     and all your items,

     and all your pets are sick,

     and your stocks have..."

     "WHAT?!" I screamed. I couldn't help it! I thought frantically, This can't be happening... I glanced at my timer. I was thinking choppily. ALL. MY. NEOPOINTS. GONE.

     I had three minutes. There was NO WAY I could get six hundred thousand neopoints back in three minutes... and a trip to the Bank was out of the question. "NO!!! ARRGGHH! WHY?!"

     People were looking at me funny. In the densely crowded Trading Post the people around me were backing away into each other, crushing their various bags and boxes, to get away from the insane Gelert who looked like he'd win the Ugly Contest.

     The Acara was saying something again. I listened closer with a wildly beating heart, wondering if my User Lookup had been wiped and my Petpage had crashed, too. Instead I heard,

     "...oh wait,

      it was just a

     horrible,

     horrible

      dream."

     "ARRGH!" I screamed for the second time in thirty seconds. "NO WAY!!!"

      Then I realized the implications of this terrible event--I still had my stuff! And my Neopoints! "Yay! Oh, yes! Oh, yeah!" I went from complete horror to euphoria in thirty seconds.

     My life was saved! I started doing this insane football-style victory dance. "Woo-hoo!"

     By that time everyone in the Petpetpet section was staring at the weirdo Gelert with the bad hair day and the loud, annoying voice. I still wanted to buy that Mootix, so I mustered all the dignity I could and stopped dead, smoothing my hair back and tucking my collar at the same time. I walked forward towards the stand normally, but still people moved out of my way. They were all staring at me, not that it mattered. I had Illusen's quest to complete and...

     Illusen's quest!!! I frantically glanced at my watch. I only have two minutes left!!!

     Abandoning all dignity and caution, I raced forward and slapped the Neopoints down with a clang. Then, ripping the precious Mootix out of the startled Tuskaninny's claws, I bolted for the door. Lucky for me the Shop Wizard transported me almost instantly to the quest site. I came out running.

     But there was someone in front of me. A Kougra with a blue shirt on. I think it was touching a tree, or something. I almost, almost pulled up and slowed down to wait. Almost. It was really close. It was.

     Instead I revved my metaphorical engines and sped up, thrusting my shoulder forward and body-checking the Kougra out of the way. "HEY!" it yelled, "YOU-" and then it got a face full of dirt. I didn't stop, even though I felt a bit guilty.

     Lucky I didn't, because the timer was running out the whole time. I had a barely thirty seconds.

     "Illusen! ILLUSEN!!!"

     She appeared directly in front of me, obviously not expecting a Gelert to be barrelling straight towards her. I applied my futile brakes, digging my paws into the earth.

     I stopped inches from Illusen. I gasped, panted, and basically threw my Mootix into her face. She raised an eyebrow and stowed him in a bag slung over her shoulder. In a calm, serene, carefree voice, she said, "You really should be more careful, " and handed me a staff she was holding. The timer said ten seconds.

     "Um," I said, "Where should I put this? I really want my prize, and I have a feeling it will be big, so I need hands free-"

     "In your Inventory, or your Gallery, or your Safety Deposit Box, or your Shop, or on the Trading Post or Auction house." She winked. "Oh, by the way, congratulations on finishing all my quests. I'm no longer in need of your assistance." And she disappeared.

     I blinked. I had expected fanfare, or instant fame, or at least unimaginable riches for the amount of time and Neopoints I had given her. All I got, I frowned, looking at the staff in my hands, was a bent, gnarled up walking stick with a leaf popping out of it! I turned around and kicked the dirt.

     And found myself looking into the face of an irate female Kougra. Covered with mud.

     So, I, logically of course (scared out of my mind) screamed super-loud and instinctively bashed her on the arm with the staff. A big mistake.

     Though I didn't hit that hard, in my defense.

     "WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU, BOY?!" The Kougra shook me by the shoulders. "Can't you be civil and ask me to move, or at least go around me?!" Apparently she was a lot stronger than she looked. And louder.

     "Um-" was all I could say before she started up again. I dropped the stick.

     "THEN I come over here to confront you, and what do you do? KICK DIRT IN MY FACE!"

     "Er, ma'am-" I tried to say. My timer beeped out.

     "AND AFTER THAT, as if that wasn't enough misery for me, you WHACK ME ACROSS THE ARM WITH A BIG STICK!"

     "It's not what it looks like-" I tried to say.

     "I didn't have to SEE anything! I felt it all! I'll have bruises for weeks!"

     I felt terrible.

     "I'm very sorry, ma'am. I-"

     "Don't you DARE 'sorry, ma'am' ME!"

     "Er, I can explain-"

     "You'd BETTER!" and stomping over to a big rock, she yelled, "Well?!"

     "You see, I was completing my last quest for Illusen and I only had like thirty seconds left, so I had to run to give her the Mootix. And then you were in my way, and I saw you too late, so I knocked you aside-"

     "More like BOWLED ME OVER!"

     "And raced to give Illusen the Mootix. I completed it," I offered half-heartedly, "And she apparently gave me her prize." I looked with distaste at the gnarled staff. "I really am sorry, ma'am. I really am." She seemed to be winding down.

     She seemed a little less angry--furious, maybe, instead of irate? Her facial coloring faded down from beet-red to scarlet. Did I dare continue?

     "Is there anything I can do to redeem myself? Could I help you do that tree thing or whatever you were doing before?"

     She now looked more tired than angry, and her coloring had faded to normal. "I sort of understand, myself--I was completing Illusen's quests not too long ago. I thought they wee the most important thing ever. Anyway, I never made it past level forty. Can I see your new prize?"

     It was little payment for the damage I had done. "Here. But be careful--you never know what an old gnarled stick may do. They're unpredictable."

     She laughed outright. A good sign.

     "You wouldn't be talking about Illusen's staff, would you? That's one of the most expensive and rare Battledome items ever." Her eyes twinkled. "Here, take it back and go run it to your Safety Deposit Box before the Pant Devil steals it. It's valuable."

     "Whoa, thanks for the tip! I was just going to donate this old thing once I got home..." I trailed off after seeing the elderly Kougra's horrified expression. "Er, right. Um, thanks, and sorry. Bye." And I took off, running towards Meridell.

     Once I got home, I slammed the door on my Safety Deposit Box and the Staff. I flopped down on the only couch, staring at the ceiling. "What a day," I whispered. "What a day." There were a billion questions running around in my mind. My eyes grew heavy. "Someday I'll just sit and laugh..."

     Why didn't Illusen tell me that the Staff was valuable? Why didn't I just take out eight hundred thousand Neopoints in the first place? Why was that Tuskaninny so irritable? Why did Illusen want a Mootix? Why did that Acara look so tired? Why did that Random Event happen to me today anyway? Why...

     I slipped into dreamland.

The End