Auction of Evil

     The once great fortress of the late Hubrid Nox had fallen. First, there had been the looters, taking all the valuable paintings an antiques. Then, the Seekers had arrived, to catalogue his vast library of texts. They had been followed by the Order of the Red Erisim, who had catalogued his other library - the one that dealt with the dark arts of necromancy. Finally, the Thieves Guild had moved in, using it as a temporary safe house while they ran scams in the Woods.

     Now, however, they had all moved on, and taken whatever of value they had found with them. The walls of Castle Nox were bare, the rooms devoid of furniture. The once great doors now hung off their hinges, and the roof in places had caved in.

     But this place was not dead. Not yet.

     Castle Nox had let to divulge its deepest secrets. Rooms that did not appear on the plans still held their treasures. Dark treasures. Treasures only even dreamed about by a select few. They had lain dormant since Hubrid's death.

     But no longer.

     One last group was raiding what was left of Nox's catalogue of evil. And he had saved the best parts until last.

     The grey Elephante strode through the dead halls of the mansion now, towards that one particular room. Towards the door that seemed to be jumping out of sight if you tried to look at it properly.

     Inside, there was life. Dozens of Neopia's worst and most horrible had gathered in this strangely empty hall.

     "Greetings, everyone," the Elephante aid, clearing his throat to end the murmur of conversation. "You have all been personally invited here today as part of the late Hubrid Nox's final wishes. Upon his death, he wished that the sum total of his work be passed on to other villains of importance so that they might continue his Great Work. I, Fillius Bonaparte, on behalf of the Den of Antiquity Auction House in Neopia Central, have been appointed auctioneer on behalf of Mr. Nox's estate. Today, we will auction off the most vile and terrible of Nox's surviving possessions. Highest bidder wins."

     He cleared his throat again, moving to a lectern that had been prepared for the occasion. His aide, a red Moehog, came in through the chamber's side room, ready to display the lots.

     "We shall begin immediately," Fillius said. "We start with lot number one in your books - one of Hubrid Nox's most famous evil contraptions - the Odial Sphere."

     His assistant displayed a crystal sphere with a deep purple colour.

     "Hubrid claimed this magical orb had the ability to summon items from Fyora's personal keep in Faerieland," Fillius said. "As well as a method of secure communication between the warlock and his enemies. Of course, the item came with a curse, draining life force from the user, so we advise against personal use - perfectly acceptable for those who have expendable minions, however. So, shall we start the bidding at, say, one million Neopoints?"

     Several hands immediately shot up. Of course, Jhudora's was the first - access to Fyora's Hidden Tower would help her schemes no end. But she wasn't the only bidder.

     "Does ye accept Dubloons?" came a growl from Captain Scarblade.

     "We accept all major forms of currency," Fillius confirmed. "Though we will use exchange rates as of opening of markets this morning."

     Scarblade gave a nod.

     "Two million Neopoints," he said.

     "Five million," Dr. Sloth lazily committed.

     "Ten," Jhudora countered.

     Scarblade growled again, throwing his hands up in despair and counting himself up.

     "Twenty," Sloth said with a sly smile.

     He owned Virtupets, Inc. He could do this all day.

     "Thirty million," Jhudora said, her smile even slyer.

     There was a brief flick of the Dark Faerie's hand and suddenly Sloth's hands became quite rigid by his sides.

     "Thirty million, going once," Fillius said.

     Sloth tried to shout but found his voice had somehow escaped him.

     "Thirty million, going twice," Fillius added. "Sold, to the lady in purple!"

     He banged down his hammer. Jhudora's spell quickly faded, but Sloth's complaints were lost in the general chatter of the room.

     "Lot number two," Fillius said as the Moehog brought out a new item. "Is a sample of the rare mineral, Darklight, used to create the famous axe wielded by Hubrid's former ally, MAGAX. The mineral is in its raw form, so will require some workmanship to render into a weapon of mass destruction, but when properly smithed, can create powerful laser blasts and shields at the whim of the user. Quite versatile, this one. Shall we start the bidding at..."

     The Moehog had suddenly turned back to Fillius, his hands empty.

     "Ladies and gentlemen, please," Fillius said in alarm. "This is a gathering of like minded individuals, we need not steal from each other. Please return the item immediately or there will be Consequences."

     He made sure everyone heard the capital C.

     "Sorry," came a reluctant voice. "Force of habit."

     The Pant Devil floated forwards, passing the lump of glowing green metal back to the Moehog.

     "Good," Fillius said. "Now, shall we start the bidding at one million Neopoints?"

     "Five million," Sloth bid quickly, but this time he didn't appear to have competition from Jhudora.

     "Six million," the voice of Count Von Roo came from the back of the room.

     "Seven," Sloth said.

     "Eight million," the Count said.

     Sloth considered this carefully, before deciding that the increased cost perhaps wasn't worth it.

     "Sold, to the Blumaroo in the cape," Fillius said with a bang of his hammer. "Next we have lot number three, the fabled Puzzle Box Hubrid created. When properly unlocked, it transforms into a statue of the late warlock, capable of severely harming adversaries. Of course, the trick with this item is knowing the combination, but this lot does come with a puzzle solution. Starting bids at five hundred thousand Neopoints please."

     Scarblade had his hand up again.

     "Noe Limilon," the voice of Eliv Thade came.

     Fillius took a moment to unscramble the words before nodding.

     Scarblade, however, was lagging behind, struggling with the Kacheek's words.

     "Going once... Going twice..." Fillius said. "Sold, to the Kacheek who appears to have undergone unfortunate surgery."

     Eliv Thade beamed. By all accounts, he had just gotten a bargain.

     "Next we have lot four," he added. "An antique blade forged by Nox himself, designed to be relatively blunt aside from when used against Lupes, as which point it becomes quite powerful indeed. It was rumoured for a time that Fyora herself once placed an order for this weapon, but now it is a rather rarer object. Starting bids at five million please."

     This one didn't seem as popular, only a few hands shooting up.

     "Six," growled Balthazar, the Faerie hunter, and also a Lupe. "Just in case, you know?"

     "Sold, to the Lupe with a large array of bottles!" Fillius said. "Now, lot five is a little more complex. We have managed to salvage the control platform Hubrid used to trap visitors to his castle. This includes traps installed in rooms, remotely operated door sensors, and multi-level displays. What we are offering here is the bare bones of the magical system, installation costs to your despotic lair are not covered. This is a somewhat speculative lot, so we have no guide price. Any bids?"

     "One million Neopoints," a green Blumaroo said.

     Fillius recognised him as King Roothless, AAA's former adversary.

     "Two million!" another voice said, belonging to a dashing green Zafara.

     "Chadley!?" Roothless spat. "Who invited him?"

     "All guests were invited due to previous form in villainy," Fillius replied. "Mr. Tuffington was invited due to the fact that he successfully ruined a Daily Dare contest last year, much like yourself, King Roothless."

     "Pah!" Three million!" Roothless said. "I can trap AAA in my castle and be done with him forever!"

     "If anyone's trapping AAA, it's me," Chadley said. "Four million!"

     "Where do you even have four million Neopoints!?" Roothless demanded. "You're still in school!"

     Chadley hesitated.

     "...Good point," he conceded. "For the greater good, I'm willing to withdraw me bid and allow you to take on AAA next."

     "So, one million Neopoints to the grumpy Blumaroo," Fillius said. "Going once, twice, sold! This brings us to our final lot of the day, ladies and gentleman! Lot six is arguably Hubrid Nox's most insidious invention, and was previously installed in its own chamber near the fortress's lobby. Thankfully, it was safely locked away from looters and we have recovered it - the Transfabulator! This contraption has the ability to instantly change the user's wardrobe to a completely random and more often than not very garish outfit. This is a niche item which in the right hands could bring Neopia to its knees, I assure you. So, shall we start the bidding at... Say..."

     "One billion Neopoints!" Sloth shouted.

     There was stunned silence from everyone in the room, including Fillius.

     "What?" Sloth said. "You can't wear black all the time! And pastel is so this season."

     "Er... Yes..." Fillius said. "Going once... Going twice... Sold, to the megalomaniac with the limited wardrobe."

     Sloth beamed proudly.

     "That brings our little auction to a close, ladies and gentleman," Fillius added. "Thank you all for coming - your purchases will be delivered to your various lairs and domains over the coming days by discreet couriers."

     The gathered villains of Neopia gradually filed out of the room until it was just Fillius and the Moehog.

     Or maybe not.

     A shadow detached from the wall and became solid. An elderly Lenny.

     "Excellent," the Duchess of the Sway said. "You have done splendid work. We have raised a serious amount of capital for the Sway, and the surveillance devices we have installed in the things we sold will tell us so much about the activities of many of Neopia's greatest evil minds. All in all, a profitable day."

     With that, the Lenny left, and the two auctioneers soon after.

     Castle Nox was left deserted once more.

     Only...

     A ghostly Chia floated through the wall with a wicked smile on his face.

     "Pah!" the ghost of Hubrid Nox laughed. "They think those were my best inventions! They've barely scratched the surface of what I have hidden in this fortress - Neopia shall soon know the evils of Hubrid Nox again!"

     He treated himself to a long bout of maniacal laughter.

     Just like old times.

The End