Life as a Puddle: A Desert Abominable Snowball

     No, really, I'm not kidding.

     If you're the guy who painted me with a Desert Petpet Paintbrush in my sleep, step up and apologize! For a month now, I haven't been able to move because of you! I can never move again!

     I'm an Abominable Snowball. That's cool and all, being made of snow and everything. Terror Mountain welcomes me pretty well. I'm also a bit of a trickster, and April 1st is my favorite day of the year. I've done some great pranks.

     But when someone, on the night of April Fool's Day, paints you with a Desert Brush and throws you in the Lost Desert with only Coltzan for company, you get to thinking that the holiday isn't so great, after all. Maybe someone was trying to get back at me for a prank I did.

     Let me explain. Before you read the rest of this article, search up a picture of a Desert Abominable Snowball. If you have done as instructed, you will see a picture of... a puddle. A puddle and some fallen bits of coal. I guess TNT thought it was funny to make my Petpet species able to melt, but it's not. They should be ashamed.

     So, if you're the average Neopets user, you probably got interested by the title, or description, or something. And I assume you're wanting to know what it's like, being a puddle in the middle of the desert. Well, I'm going to make this short and sweet.

     Abominable Snowballs like myself can be bought cheaply, for less than 1,000 NP apiece. My owner, enticed by the cuteness of my species, bought me and took me home to a Green Scorchio who I quickly befriended.

     That Scorchio and I, we were pals. He took me to Turmaculus, who I woke with my icy breath. (He almost ate me.) He wouldn't put me in Grave Danger, no matter how many times I asked. He was a bit overprotective, but that was fine. Every day, we would go to the Symol Hole and he'd let me jump in. Every day he took me to Petpet Battles to hone my skills. Once

     Life was good until April Fool's Day, a little over a month ago. I'm a heavy sleeper, so I wasn't woken up by being taken to the Petpet Puddle and changing color. When I woke up, I was just a puddle, sitting next to Coltzan's Shrine.

     I guess it's not so bad. Unlike everyone else, I get to talk to King Coltzan's ghost 24/7, instead of the once-a-day gifts that everyone else gets. He raises my level sometimes, but mostly he's just good company.

     And then, of course, there's the fact that he gives me Dubloons all the time. On paper, it might not seem so bad, but in practice it's terrible. Neopets come running towards me, and I always think they want to talk to me, but in reality they're just picking up the piles of Dubloons that Coltzan gives me.

     The saddest part, though, was when my owner passed by. He was never much of a desertgoer, but he sometimes visited on occasion. Here's the full story (I'll try to mimic Coltzan's voice as well as possible).

     So, there I was, talking with Coltzan about our pasts, when suddenly I hear the familiar growl of a Scorchio. I strain to make my detached coal eyes look up, and, sure enough, my owner and his Scorchio are walking in the distance.

     "Coltzan! Coltzan! There's the Scorchio I was telling you about!" I shouted, trying hard to force my mouth, also detached, to move.

     Coltzan's transparent head turned toward the pyramids in the distance. He saw them, too.

     "Get them to come here! Please!" I pleaded, tears forming in my eyes. Of course, they just added to the puddle that was my body.

     "I'm sorry, Frosty," he said, "but I'm a ghost. I can't leave this shrine." He thought for a moment, but then his eyes lit up.

     "I have an idea! Frosty, get ready for a stampede!" he said, then cleared his ghostly throat. He shouted, as loudly as he could muster,

     "Attention, Neopia! I have been feeling nice today, so I will offer all Neopians two visits to my shrine instead of one!"

     They came in groups. First, there were the Neopets who spent their time hacking to get into Coltzan's Shrine more than once daily. They were happy as can be, thinking that they had finally cracked the code. Dozens of bespectacled Grundos rushed towards us, receiving bag after bag of Neopoints. Then, pushing their luck, they walked back to the edge of Coltzan's Shrine to continue hacking and get a third gift.

     The second group came as soon as the first one had finished. Hundreds of pets who had been in the Lost Desert at the time got their gifts, as well, but there was still no sign of a green Scorchio.

     I was beginning to lose hope. I admired the ghost king's wisdom, of course, but even he could not bring my owner back.

     Then, the third and final group came. Word had spread like wildfire across Neopia that King Coltzan was giving out two daily gifts. It was by far the largest group. Most of the Neopets who came were just your garden-variety Kacheek or Meerca, but some famous faces were in the crowd, as well. I saw celebrities like: the green Skeith in charge of the Neopian bank, Spectre, the Jetsam who mastered Cheat!, and even old King Skarl himself. Lots of greedy Neopets.

     But even then, when half of all the Neopets in the world had come to Coltzan's Shrine, I had still not spotted my owner. I sobbed, and Coltzan would have given me a hug if I hadn't been a puddle, and he a ghost.

     On that note, let me tell you why I like King Coltzan. It's not just because he's my only company. It's because he's in my same situation. Both of us are trapped, staying in the same spot forever and unable to move. Both of us are mostly ignored, privy to only a passing glance. It's been a month since I was painted Desert, and I generally put it in a bad light. But I suppose every cloud has a silver lining.

     So, anyway, that's my story. Even though I haven't seen my owner since then, it brought me closer (not physically, of course - that would be impossible) to King Coltzan III. He's wise, clever, and charismatic, and he says I'm funny, insightful, and friendly... most of the time.

     King Coltzan wants me to take that back. He says I'm always friendly. Well, Coltzan, you're pretty great yourself. (See what I mean? This guy's great.)

     (This manuscript was written by the ghost of King Coltzan III, as dictated by Frosty the Abominable Snowball. The original author requests that you are told that any mistakes in the writing of this story may be the result of the aforementioned King Coltzan being unable to hold a pencil without it falling through his paws. The author asks that you please excuse any errors as a result of this predicament.)

The End