There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 194,824,992 Issue: 797 | 15th day of Gathering, Y19
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Funny Faerie: Part One


by trixietrotter

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      Erana sat hunched over outside of her school counselor’s office. The young faerie fluttered her wings anxiously. It wasn’t the first time she’d been in this part of the school.

      “Erana? Come in please,” called a voice from the office. Erana produced an audible groan, a groan that was a little louder than Erana would have liked. Despite her clear dissatisfaction Erana hefted herself out of the chair and drug herself into the office.

      The walls of the Counselor’s office were plastered with motivational posters adorned with the faces of smiling faeries and sickeningly cute petpets. Each poster communicated some hollow sentiment like, “Hang in there, you’ll be okay!”, or “Everyone develops at different speeds!” It made her feel sick. She slipped into the chair in front of the school counselor’s immaculate desk. The chair she slipped into was almost unbearably plush, she sunk so far into the soft fabric it almost felt like it was eating her.

      “As I see here Erana, your time at our school is coming to an end.” The Counselor turned to look at her, as if to confirm her information was correct. Erana nodded in response, trying to avoid the Counselor’s gaze. She knew exactly what was coming next.

      “You’re on your last year of school and you still haven’t chosen your element.” There it was. Erana winced as the words came out of the Counselor’s mouth. She had heard those exact words from teachers, classmates, even other school Counselors countless times. You’d think she was the first faerie to ever struggle finding her element. What would come next where a series of unhelpful suggestions, ‘Have you tried fire?’ or ‘What about light?’. Almost on cue the Counselor said, “Have you tried air?”.

      “Yes, I’ve tried air.” Erana mumbled, her frustration was being to build. “I’ve tried air, light, fire, water, earth, I’ve even tried darkness!” she snapped and threw her hands in the air, “I’m garbage at all them!”

      “Well you can’t expect to be perfect right-“ the Counselor started to say but Erana cut her off.

      “This isn’t about trying and element not being the most amazing faerie who lived right away, I know you have to learn!” Erana said, “No element feels right, I can’t DO magic with any of them! Do you see any color on my wings?!” She fluttered her bare white wings for emphasis.

      “I don’t believe that,” the Counselor replied, shaking her head, “There has to be one that can work for you.” Erana exhaled sharply, her head was starting to pound.

      “Yeah and no one believed in Dr. Sloth and look at where he is,” Erana mumbled.

      “That smart-alec attitude is uncalled for,” snapped the Counselor, “I’m here to help you.”

      “Why is it so wild to think that I don’t fit into the perfectly arranged elemental boxes this school lays out!” Erana exclaimed, “Maybe some of us aren’t light faeries or dark faeries or water fairies!” She could feel herself getting a little too passionate and unruly, school officials typically didn’t care for those traits they had gotten her in trouble before. But she sat up in the chair, unable to step down from her metaphorical soap box. “Maybe some of us are space faeries or soup faeries or even grey faeries!” said Erana, “Even if some of us turn out to be run of the mill air faeries, it’s unreasonable to force us to commit to one element for the rest of our lives while we’re still so young!” The school Counselor tapped her pen on her desk in annoyance.

      “I’M a ‘run of the mill’ air faerie.”

      Erana slumped back into her chair and sighed.

      “Oops.”

      “’Oops’ is right.”

      The school Counselor sigh and began tapping her pen on the surface of her desk. With each tap Erana felt her demise approaching. Why couldn’t she just keep her big mouth shut? She reflexively winced when she heard the Counselor begin to speak.

      “Well Erana,” she began, “If you’re not a ‘run of the mill’ elemental faerie, what are you?”

      “Well, I uh think I’m a,” Erana began, her voice shaky and nervous, “I think I’m a uh, a comedy faerie.” The Counselor had to fight to maintain her composure once she had fully processed the words ‘comedy’ and ‘faerie’. Erana, suddenly embarrassed, sunk down into her chair wishing it would swallow her whole. The Counselor went back to tapping her pen on the desk.

      “Well if you think you’re a ‘comedy’ faerie,” the Counselor said, “Then get out there and prove it to me.”

      “What?”

      “Go out in the world and prove to me, you’re a ‘Comedy Faerie’.”

      “Really?”

      “Really! Now get out of my office and go do it!”

      “You won’t regret this!” said Erana, beaming.

      “Don’t give me a reason too, now go!”

      Erana bolted out the office feeling invigorated and overjoyed. She was walking on air (literally) in till a single thought brought her hurtling back down to earth.

      “How am I going to this?” she said aloud to herself.

      Prove it, but how? How could she prove it? By writing a killer joke? By doing something funny? Erana sighed and drug herself down the streets of Faerie City, her wings fluttering nervously the whole way. She shoved her way into the Faerieland Library and was greeted with the clang of the bell attached to the door. The countless towering bookshelves lining the impossibly large library would feel intimidating to average patron anxious but not Erana. She often came here to curl up in a corner and relax when the stress of the day was wearing on her.

      Inside of the library was as warm and attractive as ever. “Why does this place always smell so good?” Erana wondered as she collapsed into her favorite chair next to a pile of books. The soft lavender aura of the Library was calming and quiet, it was probably Erana’s favorite place in Faerieland to go when she was feeling down.

      “Hi Erana!” the Library Faerie said as she floated over and began to sort books onto the shelf behind Erana. “What got ya looking so glum for?” inquired the Library Faerie.

      “Oh it’s nothing,” Erana sighed, “I only have one shot to save from myself from being doomed to a life of being a kind of faerie I know I’m not.”

      “Well I’ve been there,” the Library faerie said, sympathetically. A metaphorical light bulb went off in Erana’s head, she sat up, suddenly alert.

      “That’s right!” she said excitedly, “You’re not a typical elemental faerie! How’d you do it?” A hopeful smile was beginning to spread over Erana’s face.

      “Well,” the Library faerie said, “I reorganized and restored the entire Faerieland library.” Erana’s smile slowly melted off her face and she slid back down into her chair.

      “That sounds, tough,” she said dismally. “I don’t think I could do that.”

      “It only sounds hard to you because you’re not passionate about books like I am,” explained the Library Faerie, “You just need to accomplish something involving the field you’re passionate about! If it’s really your element it’ll be easy to commit yourself to it.”

      Erana mused over the words of the other faerie for a minute. The concept was sound, ‘accomplishing something in your field’ but where? How?

      “But how I do I prove myself?” Erana asked, “Do I put on a show or something?”

      “There’s a comedy club in Neopia Central.”

      “A comedy club!” Erana exclaimed, “That’s great!”

      “Hey, hey, don’t make me shush you, this is a library you know.” The Library faerie scolded.

      “Sorry,” whispered Erana, “It’s just a comedy club! That’s perfect!” Erana began to conjure images in her head of a bustling comedy club. Comics telling jokes and delighting the crowd, laughter and tears rolling down faces. People falling out of chairs from laughing so hard. Just the place she wanted to be. “Yeah, yeah!” said Erana, “It’ll be great! But, do I really have to go all the way Neopia Cenral?”

      “There aren’t that many to begin with, Erana. Maybe you can help found the first Faerieland Comedy Club in the future.”

      “Ha, well maybe,” said Erana, “That’d be nice. But for now, I guess I’m headed out of Faerieland.”

      “It’s going to be pretty demanding work, Erana.” said the Library faerie.

      “Well,” said Erana, “Anything worthwhile does. Or at least that’s what they say.”

      “Just don’t be discouraged easily, you have to be prepared for when things don’t go your way.”

      “Oh, I’ll be fine.” Erana waved her hands dismissively.

      “Are you sure?” ask the Library faerie with a little smile and a sigh. “You went from hopeless to hopeful pretty fast just a few seconds ago.”

      “Well what do you want?” ask Erana, “I’m young and fool-hardy!”

      “Kids these days.”

      “Thanks for everything!” said Erana, she gave the Library faerie and little hug and took off out of the library and down the street, eager to pack her bags and depart on her comedic journey.

      To be continued…

 
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