Going Totally Nuts For Turdles

     AHHHHH! I am OBSESSED with Turdles!! And I have a feeling you are too, or you will be after reading all that I have to say about them. You see, Turdles are one of the coolest, cutest, most adorable, smartest, friendliest Petpets that you could ever possibly come across. They have this cute little smile, a giant forehead poking out of their sturdy shell, and you can bring one home to live with your Neopet. How great does that sound?

     If you are a Turdle fanatic like I am, then this all-encompassing guide to them is all you need to know.

     Turdles are actually pretty rare, they are a retired Petpet meaning that you can no longer obtain new ones. That means you will have to adopt one from another Neopian, purchase one from a user run shop, or find them at the trading post or auction house. Because of this they can get a bit expensive, but it is more than worth the cost, I promise. The unpainted Turdle, in its natural brown color, was awarded the Petpet Protection League reward during week 142, back in 2006. If you dig a bit deeper, you will see that the most popular names for Turdles are: Timmy, Turdley, slow poke, shelby, Teddy, Tiny, Small Shell, Eldrut, Fred, lucky, tortuga, Sheller, Yertle, Squishy, Mr. Turtle, Max, turtley.

     While "turtley" wouldn't be my first choice at a name, it may be yours and that is okay. Pick whatever name vibes with you and your Neopet. I personally like "Tortuga", which is the Spanish word for turtle or tortoise.

     Now that you have a Turdle of your very own, it is time to decide if you want to leave it its original color or paint it a new shade. There are fourteen colors available to them, but only thirteen of those can be obtained using a petpet paint brush. Those colors are: blue, dung, green, island, mutant, pink, purple (Purple Turdle, how cute), rainbow, robot, sketch, snow, white, and yellow. Outside of this, you can also obtain a Birthday Turdle, decorated like a cake. The Birthday Turdle can be found in a Neopets 16th Birthday Goodie Bag, it is pretty rare and the bag actually costs more than if you were to just buy the Birthday Turdle upfront, so the risk is up to you.

     Once you have decided on a color and a name, and which Neopet to attach it to, you can start collecting all the wonderful Turdle items! There is a Turdle Helmet, Turdle (TCG) card, and even a Turdle Balloon for all your party needs. You can brush your Neopet up on all things Turdle and all they need to know about the petpet with the fabulous book "Nutty The Turdle". Or you can have your pet play with their new Turdle in a Turdle Paddling Pool! You can even adorn your Usuki collection with an Underwater Turdle Usuki Set, giving your favorite Usuki a tiny Turdle of their own!! Gosh, I just can't take how cute this all is. And if that is not enough, you can grow a garden in a Turdle Plant Holder. The possibilities are truly endless with Turdles.

     When all of that is set in place, head on over to Meridell. The land of potatoes and lush farming fields, where you will find they love a little sport called Turdle Racing. That's right, Poogle Racing is a thing of the past, it is all about the Turdles now. You will be able to go and bet a maximum of 1,500 Neopoints on a Turdle of your choosing, all of which have their pros and cons. Let me break it all down for you so you can really make the best choice. Consider this a guide within a guide!

     The Turdles you can play with include:

     #1: Stinky

     3:1 Odds

     Stinky is fastest turdle this side of Tyrannia. If you think he is losing, think again, as Stinky is renowned for unexpected last-second victories!

     #2: Poopy

     4:1 Odds

     Poopy is a cunning little turdle, employing every trick in the book to make sure he comes in first.

     #3: Smelly

     5:1 Odds

     Smelly's unique advantage is that other turdles keep well away from him, mainly due to the fact he never washes!

     #4: Squelchy

     7:1 Odds

     Squelchy sometimes sticks to the floor... so if you see him not moving for a while, he probably needs a little shove.

     #5: Nutty

     9:1 Odds

     This crazy turdle will do anything he can to run straight for the finish line, but beware - expending lots of energy makes him prone to randomly falling asleep.

     So at first glance, Stinky is going to be your best bet, but will also give the smallest reward. Nutty will give you a ton of Neopoints if you win, but your chances of that aren't very good. You can only bet three times per day, so bet wisely. And the Scorchio overseeing the matches will also give you a little bit of advice to help sway your decision.

     And it isn't totally out of your hands, while you are placing your bet you can also feed the Turdle an item from your inventory to help them out in the race. It is up in the air how different items affect them, but I always like to give a sugary doughnut to give them an extra pep in their step. It is definitely an exciting little game, and the matches are quick and you don't stand to lose too much with a maximum bet of 1,500 NP. So go give it a try. While you're over there, be sure to avoid Turmaculus because he has a big appetite and may just decide to eat up your precious petpet.

     Once you've got your Turdle all set and in place, you could also take them over to Petpet Battles and go a few rounds against other petpets. Their strong shells make them sturdy in battle and so I think they would fare fairly well in the fray.

     I hope this has solidified your love of Turdles like it has mine. Go collect some items, play a few rounds of Turdle Racing, and if you are feeling a little more...deserted...It would not hurt for you to start drifting into the Turdle-adjacent world of Turtmids. *wink*