Neopia by Design: A Guide to the Shops of Neopia

     See, what many people don't understand about being an interior designer is that it's so much more than "decorating." It's about understanding what a Neopet wants from their home, and how to make it happen. Nonetheless, many Neopians don't feel comfortable hiring an interior designer and want tips on how to decorate their Neohomes themselves. At a certain point, I no longer had the capacity to respond to the flood of Neomail I receive asking where to look for lamps, sofas, curtains printed with Dr. Sloth's face, and other types of decor. That's why, for the first time, I'm sharing my guide to the top five designers working in Neopia today.

     Here are the must-visit shops for Neopians seeking to up their design game or find the perfect gift for a Neofriend:

     Ugga Shinies, Tyrannian Jungle

     Primitive. Outsider. Faux-naive. Whatever you call his style, one thing is certain: I'm gaga for the doodads designed by Ugga. At least, I think the Kacheek who runs this store is named Ugga. The Grarrl guide I hired to be my translator during my recent jaunt to Tyrannia was indisposed after eating a Rotten Omelette that was left in the sun all day, so I can't be 100% certain. Nonetheless, what isn't in doubt is the designer's genius.

     My favourite discovery was the Single Grey Cloud, which through an inventive combination of hand-painted wood, silver wire, and teardrop-shaped crystals conjures a melancholy illusion worthy of the Grey Faerie herself. Selling for less than 5,000 Neopoints, this is an accessibly priced option for Neopians who aren't afraid of a hike. I also found it much easier to transport back to Neopia than the stone furniture for sale at a neighbouring boutique.

     Magical Marvels, Altador

     Ask the Chia who runs this shop how he crafts his wares, and he'll simply say "magic." Specifically, ancient Altadorian magic. Indeed, admirers of exquisite vessels and collectors of dramatic glassware will find themselves enchanted by the Phial of the Dreamer. This small bottle of mysterious, swirling cerulean liquid is ornamented with delicate faerie wings. Removing the bottle's finial-shaped stopper unleashes sweet dreams.

     I'm told that one of the biggest fans of Phial of the Dreamer is Imiya the Aisha, who relies on the tonic to banish Babaas carrying maths problems from her slumbering mind. She wakes up refreshed with no unpleasant, groggy side effects–which is all the data I need to calculate that the Phial of the Dreamer is a must-have item for insomniacs, too. With a retail price of approximately 12,000 Neopoints, and a considerably greater value on the secondary market, the Phial of the Dreamer is highly coveted and can be difficult to obtain. Start your shopping now.

     Brightvale Glaziers, Brightvale

     Through their skills, gifted artisans transform even the most mundane materials into something magical. Such is the case at Brightvale Glaziers, where traditional craft combines with contemporary design sensibilities in the form of decorative windows. Portraits of famous Neopians, from the brainy Library Faerie to the elegant Princess Amira, are the most popular offerings at this shop. However, I'm partial to abstract designs, like the five-sided Bubble Stained Glass Window and its eye-popping combination of violet, ruby, and gold orbs.

     A word to the wise: if you plan on rounding out your itinerary with a trip to nearby Meridell to observe Neopians compete in Cheeseroller, do so before making your purchase at Brightvale Glaziers. Your correspondent's new window was nearly smashed by a wayward round of Brick Cheese, which seems like exactly the type of foodstuff one might consider not hurling downhill at an incredible speed and velocity. Thankfully, since Pteris can take flight, I was able to lift my window into the air and land safely in Illusen's Glen. Where, by the way, I had hardly caught my breath before being asked by the Earth Faerie to run her random errands, under the pretence that it was all some big "quest." Kind of rude, no?

     Lampwyck's Lights Fantastic, Moltara

     Everybody wants to bring home a piece of Moltara. That's the only conclusion I could draw from watching Neopians descend into the subterranean city and start collecting hunks of Shiny Obsidian, presumably to use as decorative paperweights. As I grew woozy from molten heat, I also thought I saw a Spotted Lupe pick up a small, glowing red worm and place the creature inside a lantern. Obviously, this vision could have only been the product of pure delirium, but I digress.

     Moltara's industrial qualities belie the sophistication of the lighting designs on offer at Lampwyck's Lights Fantastic. In his studio, which has been open to the public since Y11, Lampwyck showed me the Coloured Glass Lamp. When illuminated, this lamp's attractive gold shade casts a green-and-red mosaic pattern on the walls. It retails for approximately 15,000 Neopoints, though I must warn our readers that an imperceptible flaw in its design makes it more suitable as a gallery showpiece than as an item for everyday use.

     Osiri's Pottery, Lost Desert

     Perfection is elusive. We all know this, yet we find ourselves helplessly holding ourselves to an unachievable standard. I, for instance, have spent the past year trying to bake a Peophin-shaped Souffle—only to find that, after hours of preparation and labour, what emerges from my oven more closely resembles a Morthog. Specifically, a non-magical Morghog. After it's been kissed.

     That's why I'm so tickled by Osiri's new line of vessels with asymmetrical, biomorphic forms. The aptly named Crooked Vase, with its eye-catching coils of red and blue, might appear to some to be on the verge of collapsing. But if you look at it another way, who's to say that it isn't dancing instead? Likewise, the Mis-shapen Pot might resemble the creative output of a first-year ceramics student who hasn't yet mastered how to fire a kiln. However, if you fill the Mis-shapen Pot with soil and plant a Meepie Tree inside it, you will see the charm in the vessel's lumpy organic form and earthy colour. Just like everything in nature, it's perfectly imperfect.

     In conclusion, I hope this guide has helped you learn more about the best designers working in Neopia today. I would like to remind my readers that there is no substitute for developing your own eye. Cultivate your understanding of what you like and don't like by visiting these shops, but also by seeking treasures in the Neopian Marketplace and the Auction House. When it comes to your own design sensibility, at the end of the day, you are the best expert.