The Swashbuckler Within: Part Two

      The day after Dragyte the Aisha's horrific loss at the Bilge Dice tournament, his older brother - Orekoh the Mutant Ixi - left him in charge of the two wee Kougras. The pantry was nearly empty, and it was Orekoh's responsibility to purchase some groceries. "Keep an eye on Herrami and Kaelou while I'm away," the Ixi had said, "and don't let them shred the furniture. Oh, and remember to help Herrami apply that Itchy Scratchy Cream; he has a bad case of the Itchy Scratchies and goes into spells. See you three later!" And with that, the only known Neopet able to subdue the Terror of the Sea and his sidekick was gone, leaving an inexperienced Aisha at the helm.

      Not even a minute after Orekoh left, Herrami started being a pest.

      "Where's that dumb eye patch you always wear, huh?" asked the red Kougra as he yanked at Dragyte's long ears.

      Dragyte pulled free and back away, replying with a scowl, "Orekoh took it away. And don't pull on me ear again, or I'll…"

      "…or you'll what?" There a subtle smugness in the Kougra's tone that came from never being punished for anything he said or did… ever. Orekoh was known to spoil the little guy; discipline for him was virtually nonexistent.

      "Just don't be doing it again!"

      Herrami chuckled, "Oooh, I'm so afraid of the big, mean ol' pirate-"

      "-swashbuckler," interrupted Dragyte with a small sense of triumph.

      "Swashbuckler?" repeated Kaelou, assuming her signature puzzled look. "Sounds like a bathroom cleaner." Whether she meant to be funny or not was a mystery, because it was very easy to believe that she did, in fact, mean exactly what she said. Herrami giggled at her honest confusion, but his voice started to fade as he slunk off…

      "Ignore 'em," whispered Dragyte to himself. "They just be trying to make me crack, and I will not allow some pint-sized felines to get the best of me - the (former) Bilge Dice King!"

      "You're a dumby-dumb scallywag-doodle with no friends that… smells 'cause my mommy says! Mister no-eye-patch!" mocked Kaelou, sticking her tongue out.

      "Ye don't even make any sense."

      "Nah, nah… so is your face!"

      "Okay, now I know ye are just trying to get on me last nerves. Hey, where did Herrami scuttle to?" Dragyte looked around the living room (while still keeping a careful eye on Kaelou) and spotted Herrami on top of a book shelf across the way. "Are ye barmy? Get down from there before I take ye by the ear like ye did to me!"

      Herrami didn't answer; instead, he stared ominously at the emerald shell curtains within a short Kougra leap away from him. They were Orekoh's favorite set; he'd bought them after a memorable glass-bottomed boat tour of Kiko Lake. The Ixi would be utterly distraught if they were ever ruined.

      "Get off the shelf," instructed the Aisha, though his voice wavered nervously.

      A devious smile spread across the Herrami's face, and he took a blind leap toward the curtains, allowing his claws to sink in when he reached them. As gravity brought him slowly down, his claws shredded the delicate Kiko-stitched fabric all the way to the floor, making a horrible tearing sound that paralyzed his older brother.

      Kaelou cheered, "Awesome! Me next, me next!"

      "Nobody is next!" screamed Dragyte, running over to the decimated curtain. "Herrami," he continued, his voice echoing through the Neohome, "what in the name of Cap'n Scarblade is wrong with ye? When Orekoh comes home, he's going to be flaming mad!"

      Herrami shrugged, "It was ugly anyway." He glanced quickly around the room for something else to destroy, but an uncontrollable urge came over him. He lifted his paw, extended his claws, and starting veraciously scratching his back. "Make it stop!" he shouted, utterly helpless. In an instant he changed from the diabolical Terror of the Sea monster to a helpless kitten.

      "Gross!" exclaimed Kaelou. "He's got the Cooties! Don't get near me! Aahh!"

      Dragyte tried to maintain order. "Stop yer flailing; there's no need to panic! It's just the-"

      "-I don't care what it is," cried the blue Kougra, "I don't want to get it, too! Gross, gross, gross!"

      Having "trained" for this situation in the past while playing Petpet Sitter, Dragyte had an idea of how to handle himself. It's well known that a Kougra's cry is one of the most deafening and frustrating sounds in Neopia - worse than Edna's fingernails on a blackboard. Most Kougra sitters crack at the very sound of this unspeakably loud noise. Now both Herrami and Kaelou were crying loudly. The Aisha dashed to the high cabinet in the bathroom where he knew Orekoh keep the medicines.

      "Please be here," muttered Dragyte as he pushed useless bottles out of the way. Injections? No. Dancing shoes? No. Syrup? No, no, no! Where was the cream?

      Dragyte looked frantically around floor at the pile medicine he'd just thrown down, and out of the corner of his eye he spotted the Itchy Scratchy Cream on the bathroom counter with a note attached to it. Just like Orekoh to leave in-depth instructions. The Aisha scooped up the tube and ran back to the Kougras, reading the note along the way. "Apply over irritated area," he read, "and avoid sensitive areas, like the eyes. And do not apply during noontime, otherwise… blah, blah, blah…" Dragyte tossed it aside. He wasn't an idiot; he could handle it.

      "Help me!" screamed Herrami between sobs and scratches. "It won't stop! Help!"

      "Hold still!" commanded the Aisha as he held down the crimson Kougra with one paw and squirted the cream on his back with the other. Even as he rubbed the Itchy Scratchy Cream in, Herrami still struggled to scratch, nearly clawing Dragyte in the process. But when the special cream disappeared into his fur and soothed the irritated skin, the Kougra began to settle down and eventually return to his normal, diabolical self.

      "Where did the Cooties go?" questioned Kaelou, examining the floor. She expected to see a little pinkish creature scurry up to her in search of a new unfortunate host.

      Ignoring the blue Kougra, Dragyte turned to her friend. "Are ye feeling tip-top, now?" he asked nicely, petting Herrami on the head and behind the ears. Maybe by helping the Terror of the Sea, the Aisha had finally established a friendship between them… or at least he hoped. However, even through Herrami was his little brother, he obviously didn't know the little delinquent very well.

      The crimson Kougra's eyes suddenly narrowed and his ears bent down, a sign of hostility.

      "What's wrong now?" asked Dragyte, but just as the words escaped him, Herrami flashed his sharp, impeccably white teeth. The Aisha was too slow to withdraw his paw, and those teeth sunk in. "OWW!" screamed Dragyte. He waved his arm to try to get free, but Herrami was latched on too tightly. In his panic, Dragyte did what any pirate Neopet - pretender or not - would do when faced with danger: he pulled a dagger from his belt.

      Kaelou shrieked in horror, and Herrami spit out Dragyte's paw. The two backed against the wall, fur standing up on end and tails shivering violently.

      "Oh, Deaver feet! This bugger hurts," shouted Dragyte, "ouch, ouch, ouch!" He stuck the injured paw in his mouth and glared at the Kougras with fiery eyes. "Herrami," he spat from empty side of his mouth, "ye be in trouble for this one…"

      Dragyte scanned the vicinity for an idea, and then it hit him. Using strips from the Orekoh's ruined curtains, the Aisha grabbed Herrami (who was immobilized in a state of terror over the knife - rubber, though he didn't know) and tied the rascal down to a chair. Once the crimson Kougra was restrained, he suddenly realized his position.

      "This is kidnapping!" screamed the Terror of the Sea, with a slight playfulness in his voice. "You can't restrain me; I won't be suppressed. I know my rights, you fiend! Judge Hog will see to it that you're locked up for good!" When he saw that his desperate words had no effect on his brother, the evil swashbuckler, he turned to his friend. "Kaelou," he exclaimed, pretending to feel faint, "I'm a goner! Save yourself… from his evil wrath. Flee this horrid place!"

      "Silence!" shouted Dragyte, pointing the rubber dagger. His paw had long since stopped hurting, but he didn't want to release his prisoner just yet. The swashbuckler within him was coming out. Oddly enough, this situation was remarkably similar to pirate books he'd studied over the years. A savage scallywag holding a defenseless Neopet - well, Herrami wasn't defenseless, but exaggeration couldn't hurt - hostage, preparing to throw the captive overboard or - egad! - make 'em walk the plank. Hmmm… maybe Kougra-sitting wasn't so bad after all!

      Kaelou was distressed. Lacking the foggiest idea of what imagination was or how it worked, she believed that Dragyte was really and truly holding her best friend captive. Actually, part of that was true, but the whole thing had turned into a game, as things often do for Kougra cubs (with imaginations) and older Aisha-brothers with no grasp of reality.

      "Herrami!" shrieked Kaelou, wiping a tear, "I can't leave… I don't know the way back to my home!"

      The crimson Kougra rolled his eyes. "Kae," he muttered, shaking his head within the restraints of the curtain strips, "this is pretend! I didn't tell you to really go home, just… oh, never mind!" He turned to Dragyte and huffed, with a tone of great importance, "This is madness! Where is your leader? I demand to speak to the bloke in charge of this raggedy plank you call a ship. Is there no captain here? Answer me, vagabond!"

      Dragyte inched closer to the captive and cackled. "I be the cap'n that ye be squawking about. What is it ye want to tell me? Ye got one second. Whoops, too late! Now, I'll be throwing ye overboard…"

      Suddenly, a scream pierced the air as swiftly as a butter knife on butter. It was Kaelou.

      "Oh, will ye just be quiet?" sighed Dragyte, pointing the rubber dagger at her, "Or else ye'll be next…"

      Just then, the front door to the Neohome swung open, and a cheery Orekoh skipped in carrying groceries. "Hey, everyone! I bought some great treats and… OH MY!" the mutant Ixi dropped the bags of food. "Dragyte, what in the name of Neopia are you doing with that dagger?! And why is Herrami tied up with… MY CURTAIN?!"

      "I can explain," stuttered Dragyte, "you see, we were just…"

      Orekoh scowled. "I don't care! And poor Kaelou…" he ran over to the screaming Kougra and gently stroked her head until she calmed down. "Why were you pointing a dagger at her?"

      "It's rubber…"

      "I don't care! It's the point, Dragyte! She's just a cub… and so is Herrami." Orekoh then went over to the crimson Kougra and untied him. "How cruel! You are never taking care of these two ever again! I can't believe your behavior…"

      "But we were playing pirates, and Kaelou… well, she's such a LOSER!"

      "Dragyte," gasped Orekoh, "I've had it with your dumb pirate antics… you've gotten out of hand. Now, I'm going to take poor Kaelou home, and I want to you to think about what you've done. When I get back, you will be facing some punishment, mister!"

      Dragyte frowned. " 'Punishment'?" he repeated, "What sort of punishment? Geeze… ye already took me darn eye patch! What more can ye do?"

      An ominous moment followed in which Orekoh considered his options. The Swashbuckling Academy was definitely out of the question; the last time Dragyte was there, he tried to saw off Cap'n Three Legs' peg leg. Quite a bad ordeal for all parties involved.

      "A job," the mutant Ixi uttered suddenly with such an air that made the ruling final. He then turned and led Kaelou out of the front door. Herrami followed them out, leaving Dragyte all alone in the Neohome.

      As silence settled in the room, and the pitter-patter of footsteps outside faded away, Dragyte started to ponder about his latest misfortune. "Pirates, I mean swashbucklers, can't have jobs - it's against the code!" grumbled the Aisha, throwing his rubber knife on the floor, "I'm already an outcast on this cursed island, and now my old brother means to make me an even greater laughing stock!"

To be continued...