An Interview With Jhudora

On my way into the cloud, I passed a young Neopian and his Kougra, who had just bought Jhudora a “Feepits Win T-shirt”, and got a Poisonous Lollypop in return. At that point, two questions I could ask her immediately popped into my head: What does she do with all the items she gets and where does she get all of these Poisonous Lollypops to give to the ones who complete her quests? Instantly, my imagination was saturated with nightmares of poor Neopets in a sweatshop making poisonous lollypops for Jhudora. “Couldn’t be,” I told myself. Nonetheless, I wrote the questions down in my trusty Water Faerie Notepad, which was full of things I could possibly ask the Dark Faerie herself.

Onward I went, wondering what kind of answers I could expect. I could smell the stench of evil...and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the Salmon Fishwich I had for lunch earlier. My mind dripped with questions and thoughts, and before I could sort them out, I was standing in front of the door to Jhudora’s lair. Jhudora was expecting me; I’d left a message with her assistant…oddly enough, it was a Uni, and she said her name was “Welmora.” I knew there was something evil about those creatures. I knocked on the door to her lair, and Welmora opened it.

“Come right in, she’s been expecting you,” she greeted me. “I hope you aren’t planning anything.”

“No,” I said. “Just an honest interview.”

She took me in through another door. There she was, the darkest Faerie in Neopia, sitting upon a throne of green and purple velvet, in a dress fit for a queen…queen of darkness that is.

“Come in mortal, have a seat.” Jhudora gestured to a small dung reclining chair just opposite her throne. I assumed it must be where she has her questers sit.

I looked around the room. It was filled with green clouds of smoke, and the floor was littered with items. “Probably the rejected ones,” I pondered. “I’ll make this quick ma’am, I just have a few questions for you.”

“It better be quick,” she hissed.

I cleared my throat, and opened my Water Faerie Notebook “OK…not wasting anytime here I see. First question, this one’s been on our mind for a while now, do you have anything to do with the Meepits?”

“What would I want with such despicable creatures as those? Next question.”

I gulped. “Sorry ma’am. Next question, what do you do with all the items you get from these questers? It’s been rumored you make special potions from them; is there any truth to this?”

“What hogwash. Where do you get these rumors? I simply use them for my Neopets. You know, they need toys and food too. I give some away to the less fortunate. In fact, I was going to make a stop by the money tree right after this interview is over. Get moving.”

“Hmm.” Sweat dripped down my face. “It’s been reported that you and Illusen have a feud going on?”

“She’s stealing my questers. And what does she promise, nice, earth-friendly items? Paaahhteewwey,” A drop of her saliva flew out of her mouth, and landed on my notebook. “Besides, she isn’t the Faerie Queen, now is she? I can hate her if I want to.”

“Very well, since your party is coming up, February 4th, how do you plan on celebrating?”

“Funny you should ask. I’m planning a little shindig on this very cloud. Sloth, Lord Kass, Malkus Vile, and the Pant Devil have all RSVPed. You know, Jhudora would never have a dull February 4th.” She gave a huge, sarcastic wink.

“Ohh, of course. OK then, oh my.” I saw the next question in my notepad; it was the one about the underground sweatshop. Should I ask it? My mind raced.

“Uggh, let’s GO,” she roared.

“OK, umm, where do you get all the poisonous lollypops? Is there some kind of underground sweatshops?” I asked.

She thought for a second. “No.”

Before I could ask my next question, Welmora burst in the room, followed by a quester and his Faerie Shoyru.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, he wouldn’t take no for an anws-” Welmora said, being cut off by the quester.

“I got it, Jhudora! I got you a Honey Potion for my level 50 quest!! And I’m a minute early!”

“According to my watch, you’re…4 seconds too late.” She waved her finger, and the quester’s beautiful Faerie Shoyru was now an ugly, mutant pet.

“Whattttt! Jhudora, I’ll get you for this! This isn’t over,” the Neopian cried as Welmora escorted him out of Jhudora’s chamber.

“Yeah, you and what army?” she taunted. “Get on with this interview.”

“Yes ma’am, last question I have for you. What’s with all this green cloudy smoke stuff?”

She snapped her fingers, and a small puff of green smoke rose up.

I noticed her nails, painted bright neon green. “Where do you get those nails done? Is there a beauty parlor on this cloud?”

She mumbled something I didn’t catch. “I’m running late for an appointment. You better not print this interview in the Neopian Times. I hate that newspaper, they write about me entirely too much.”

“Well, ma’am…”

Before I could finish my sentence, she waved her finger, and I was mysteriously outside of Faerie City. I reached into my pocket, and my Water Faerie Notepad was missing.

Well, there you have it, Jhudora the Dark Faerie, still one of the most confusing, secretive and misunderstood Faeries in all of Neopia. This reporter didn’t have much luck prying the juicy details out of her. If only I could find my way into that party somehow…