Invisible Paint Brushes rock Circulation: 90,555,321 Issue: 168 | 2nd day of Celebrating, Y6
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

8 Steps to Ultimate DOOM!


by magicofexcalibur

--------

IN A DARK CORNER - Have you ever wanted to spook your friends, but have always failed? Maybe you would just like to improve on your skills? Well, make use of these 8 steps and you'll master the ways of haunting! (Grabs out flashlight) Mwahaha!

1) First of all, find yourself a Ghost Paint Brush. I don't know how you'll do it; maybe you'll save up, or you may be given one by Jacko or some other rich friend! Once you get it, choose a species that you want to be. Make sure that you can be painted Ghost in that species, and also make sure that it is actually freaky!

2) You've chosen your costume, I mean inner self. Next, you must choose a victim! Usually, those that say that they aren't scared of nothing (purpose grammar error) are bluffing, and they are more scared than those that actually admit it. Take your pick, from a baby Chia to a Werelupe! If you are an elite haunter, then you could try aiming for Hubrid Nox, or even Doctor Sloth.

3) Set your time to attack! Choosing a time in the morning is never a good time, because they are fully active, and could give you some beatings in a flash! Midnight is most preferred, but not everybody can stay awake at that time...

4) Setting up your pranks is important to do your next step! You will want to start spooking them already, so some starters are prank calls (and saying that you are his/her father), or ringing their doorbell and scram multiple times...

5) Choosing the ultimate pranks is probably the most vital step to succeed! Some examples are coming out of the ground, walls, or ceiling. Just popping out in front of their faces is good enough, but that isn't much thought into your scheme. Other plans of mass destruction could be the happy Illusen's Honey Potion, but make sure not to use it on Illusen herself! Jars of Spiders are fantastic, but are really pricey. Buying dozens of Laugh Grenades is putting it to the extreme, and quite cheap, so that could be a devastating plan!

6) Concluding your prank will make your victim crying for the next few years, or at least make them not forget their worst part of their life. Make it something simple, yet malevolent at the same time. The best ways are just grabbing piles of dung in a paper bag, and put it right in their head. They will suffocate a bit, taste the foul taste, and sniff the most malignant stench ever. That's not it! The victim will take hours to wash their face! Feeling quite evil, aren't we? If you can afford it, use Battle Dung instead of your ordinary plain boring dung. Rancid Battle Dung works wonders! Make sure to stalk your victim for the next couple days, to ensure spookiness!

7) Lastly, make sure to make that person's house a death trap. If you don't, you won't be able to haunt a house! Add Spyders, Wadjets, and Ghostkerchiefs... whatever you can think of (but Meepits and Weewoos together cause mass destruction). Trapped Snow Wurms could give your enemy quite some surprises! Oh, and don't forget to flick the lights on and off :)

8) Okay, this is really the last step. Make sure you do this after Halloween, because they won't expect all this coming to them! This is mainly why this article was sent recently, since if I sent this earlier, you would of just read all this for nothing!

Did you understand these simple steps? Let's view this scenario here in Neopia Central:

A simple-minded Draik (lets call him... Adam) was walking around Neopia, and was always tricked upon. Year after year, he got more upset, and this year, he wants his revenge. Luckily, a Neofriend gave him a Ghost Paint Brush, so he painted himself as a ghost! He decided to go up against the person who has been picking on him the most (we will call this... Donna). The cunning Draik decided to strike at 11 PM, half an hour right before his curfew. While he waited, he stocked up on Laugh Grenades (and spent half a million Neopoints!), and bought Starry Battle Dung.

Now, Donna decided to celebrate the day when Neopia turns 5 years old. She leaves (at approximately 7 PM). Adam places Trapped Snow Wurms all over the floor, on the walls, the ceilings, and in certain secret areas. Donna comes back, with prizes worth millions of Neopoints, at 10:30 PM. Donna screams from all those Snow Wurms, panicking about all the Neopoints that she dropped, and crushed! Adam chooses to run up to Donna's door, once she suffered from the Trapped Snow Wurms. He knocks on it, then scampers away, fleeing. Donna doesn't notice him, and continues to clean up the Snow Wurms' mess. Adam repeats, and Donna still doesn't notice. After 5 times, Adam decides to stop, and wait for his main prank.

At 11 PM, Donna places her remaining winnings into her Rock Piggy Bank, and then Adam flies through the walls. He then turns visible, right in front of Donna's face! She's frightened now, so Adam throws all 437 Laugh Grenades at Donna. That took a long time, but Adam thinks it is worth it. While Donna was laughing, the Draik places all of his dung into a paper bag, and places it onto Donna's head, so she accidentally eats some dung while laughing... bleh... Lastly, just for fun, he flickers the lights on and off for 10 minutes. Of course, Adam was like a born prankster now, so he wasn't caught! Donna decides to leave that house, and heads to some place where Donna can create the best site in the world!

Hopefully this story will help you make your most successful Halloween ever! Make sure not to do these to your parents, or anybody in real life! Only do these steps on Neopets (not that you can!), and be safe. Hopefully, you won't be chased by angry mobs. Anyways, have fun, and make this the best day-after-Halloween of your life!

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

Major Malfunction #14
Muwahahaha!

by moonxtal

---------

51 Things You Should Know When Playing NeoQuest II
So here we are again... with a list of 51 things you should know when you play NeoQuest II; this includes info on its characters, and its villains.

by extreme_fj0rd

---------

Attack of the Slorgs
A Yurble farmer from Meridell has had some problems with an infestation of Slorgs attacking his crops, destroying "the finest fruits and vegetables in the whole of Neopia".

by jazz_invincible

---------

Petpet Tails
Comic the Second!!

by little_hamsters365



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.