The Origins of Achyfi

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Dirt, Prawns, Carrots, what do all of these foods have in common? They are all items that were never meant to be made into a soft drink. Do you know what else they have in common? They all are flavors of the bizarre and often disgusting line of beverages known as Achyfi. Today, I, Plasmashadow expose the secrets behind some of the oddest beverages on Neopia. However, first a little background information on the Neopian beverage industry is needed.

When it comes time to quench your Neopet's thirst, there are many options available to you. Essentially, you have seven choices: juice, coffee, slushies, smoothies, water, milk, or carbonated beverages. The Ye Olde Coffee Company dominates the entire coffee market, the local Smoothie Shop is the sole producer of smoothies, Circle N, which runs the Slushie Shop in Happy Valley, is the only source of the icy treats, and water and milk are not widely consumed. In the whole beverage industry, there is only one type of beverage that there is opportunity for competition, the carbonated beverage industry.

There are many different carbonated soft drinks on the market: the Extra Large Fizzy Drink, Ixi Drinks, Dandelion and Burdock drinks, and there are others. Nevertheless, when one thinks of a soda, there are only two brands that come to mind, Neocola and Achyfi.

Neocola comes in nine different varieties, with diet versions, flavors such as apple, raspberry, and cherry, and different sizes. Anyone who's ever drank Neocola can tell you, it's good stuff. But, as you know, it's competing with all sorts of uncarbonated beverages. A few years ago, The Neocola Corporation was in dire straits. It was losing market share as Neopians decided to drink more slushies, smoothies, and coffee drinks. With easier accessibility to all sorts of flavors in other drinks, Neopians were overlooking Neocola with its selection of only five different flavors. The Neocola Corporation needed to come up with a plan or else go bankrupt. They started off trying to create new flavors. They soon realized that only a few flavors tasted good with Neocola. Finally, it dawned on them; they didn't need to taste good, they only needed to be available. It was then that Achyfi was created.

The Neocola Corporation created a new company called Achyfi Enterprises. Instead of selling quality sodas, Achyfi Enterprises had only two goals: create a large variety of flavors, and stay in the public eye. Fortunately, for Achyfi Enterprises, these two goals could be accomplished at the same time. Every time a new flavor of Achyfi was created, the release was announced on the news page. On the 19th day of Hiding Y8, there was even a day dedicated to all sorts of Achyfi merchandise. Achyfi Enterprises even created an Achyfi avatar. However, Achyfi tasted awful.

There is good reason for Achyfi's unappealing taste. While taste testing and quality assurance was used for creating Neocola, Achyfi focused on creating as many different varieties as possible. Flavors such as Dirt, Chocolate and Asparagus, Strawberry and Lime, Prawn Cocktail, and Blueberry and Chokato were created. Where as to make a quality product like Neocola might have cost the Neocola Corporation 50 Neopoints per can, Achyfi, an inferior product, only cost Achyfi Enterprises 5 Neopoints per can to produce. Since there was never an expectation of great demand for Achyfi, it was made as cheap as possible. Achyfi and Neocola were sold at approximately the same price, insuring that for every can of Achyfi sold, it would cover the cost of many more cans of Achyfi.

With Achyfi being produced, the Neocola Corporation was beginning to execute its hidden agenda. The Neocola Corporation put up advertisements, paid Neopians to drink Achyfi in public, offered incentives for shops to stock it, and made wild claims about its root extracts increasing your energy, all in the bid to keep Achyfi on everyone's mind. When Neopians started trying Achyfi for the first time, they realized just how disgusting it was, and the Neocola Corporation anticipated this. While Achyfi soon stopped selling well, everyone still talked about it, which meant carbonated drinks were on the tips of everyone's tongues.

With all sorts of rumors, stories, and interest with Achyfi, Achyfi Enterprises started the next phase in its insidious plan. Apple Achyfi and Raspberry Achyfi were released to a public accustomed to Achyfi's awful taste. These two flavors were very important because, there already existed Apple Neocola and Raspberry Neocola. The Neocola Corporation created a new ad campaign, advertising these two particular flavors of Neocola specifically. Achyfi Enterprises created an ad campaign for Apple and Raspberry Achyfi simultaneously. Almost overnight sales of Raspberry and Apple Neocola doubled. Everyone suddenly remembered that a quality carbonated beverage existed, Neocola. Soon all different varieties of Neocola were selling at more than triple the previous amount. The Neocola Corporation had averted bankruptcy! They increased their market share. Coffee, slushie, and smoothie sales went down while Neocola sales went up. The Neocola Corporation now had a new method of increasing sales. As long as they continued to make sure Achyfi was properly hyped and that new flavors were released periodically, carbonated beverages would never lose market share again.

The Neocola Corporation's plan was meant to be top secret. If people knew that the owners of the Neocola Corporation were the same people who brought the world Achyfi, their plan would fail. Nobody could know that they were connected; it had to look like aggressive competition at times. Neocola could not risk having its name identified with Achyfi or consumers would lose confidence in the product or feel tricked and manipulated.

You may wonder why I chose to divulge the Neocola Corporation's biggest trade secret. As a representative of the Ye Olde Coffee Company, it is my job to make sure you choose the best beverage out there. Achyfi Enterprises and the Neocola Corporation are trying to trick you. Don't fall for it. Show them that Neopians will not stand for it; drink coffee instead.