Neopets: Fact or Fiction

Statement 1: Muffins go stale.

TRUE. This, unfortunately, is a true fact. Muffins do go stale after a while, as do cakes, cookies, and even biscuits. However, if you are in need of some food that doesn't go stale - and have some neopoints to spend - you might consider an Everlasting Apple. Or, for those who aren't rich, try asparagus. It's healthy for you... somehow...

Statement 2: tlking lyke dis iz kool.

FALSE. Some people may disagree with me here, but I say false for the simple fact that it's not understandable, and impossible to read. Not to mention it makes my eyes hurt. but 2 demonstrate on how annying it can B, i will use it 4 de rest of dis statement. Okay, actually, it's just for that sentence, because I'm not good at it. But you see my point? Feel free to use it; just don't expect me to reply right away because I will still be trying to figure out what you said.

Statement 3: Socks are boring.

FALSE! Socks can be turned into all sorts of things, with the proper imagination. A classic is puppets. I can keep my pets busy for hours playing with them. And plus, they make excellent gifts, if you know which ones to get. Think about it. You are at a loss for what to get your darling Zafara (who just happens to be a bookworm) for her birthday. Your first thought is a book, but think about it. How original is a book when she's a bookworm? I mean, everyone will get her one. But imagine this: she tears off the wrapping paper to discover a pair of socks in her favorite color, decorated with pictures of her favorite book on them. Perfection!

Statement 4: Jhudora dyes her hair.

FALSE. Some people might not agree with me due to the illogical fate of the subject, so I have two things to say to you. One: When dealing with things in Neopia, logic isn't something you consider. And two: How dare you question Jhudora. I suggest you run before she turns you into a pile of sludge.

Statement 5: Angelpi are not entirely good.

TRUE. (And false.) While Angelpi are supposed to be sweet, innocent, and cute, they aren't all fluff. I mean, come on. If something really ticked you off, would you smile at them? I didn't think so. The standard rule of all neopets and petpets alike applies here: If you are going to be cruel and tick them off, prepare to fight in the Battledome. And that goes for Skeiths and Angelpi alike.

Now my dears, we have come to the halfway mark in our article. I would here like to take a break and- *red Uni clomps in* Morgan, what are you doing here?

Morgan: Hiya, Star! Marty told me that you were busy writing an article and I wanted to come and help!

Star: Did he also tell you I didn't want to be disturbed?

Morgan: No, but I thought- oh no, my hooves got dirty on the way here...

Star: Uh, Morgan, why don't you clean your hooves while I continue on?

Morgan: Okay. *starts to clean hooves*

Statement 6: Poking is a great way to get someone's attention.

TRUE. Poking is a good and quiet way to get someone to notice you. Not only that, but it's also fun, for the person poking, of course.

Morgan: *pokes*

Star: What?

Morgan: I finished cleaning my hooves.

Star: Great...

Morgan: What?

Star: I said great!

Statement 7: King Hagan isn't as wise as he thinks he is.

FALSE. You're kidding me, right? Of course King Hagan is wise! He's very wise indeed! You'd have to be if you're going to be the king!

Morgan: Trust me. Do you know how many times I tried to impress him with my wisdom, only to be told he already knew that?!

Star: Maybe because you're not that wise...

Morgan: Huh?

Star: Nothing.

Statement 8: Feepits wish to rule the world.

FALSE. Get your facts straight, buster. It's MEEPITS that want to take over the world, not feepits. Sheesh, I thought everyone knew that.

Morgan: That's why I'm getting a Christmas Babaa.

Star: *thinks how much it would cost* Erm... wouldn't you like a nice little cobrall?

Morgan: EW, no.

Statement 9: Ninjas pwn pirates.

TRUE. Come on, folks, how can you deny this? Ninjas are awesome; they've got stealth and have the coolest outfits too! And what do pirates got? An eyepatch? A wimpy sailboat? Pssh. And plus, did you see what pirates did to Maraqua? How can you forgive them for that? Case closed.

Morgan: All I can say is that I would look awesome painted pirate. *Hint*

Star: Of course, because neopoints just grow on Brain Trees...

Statement 10: Jelly World exists.

FALSE. There's no such thing; it's just a myth. I don't know what you're talking about.

Morgan: But what-

Star: There's no such thing, Morgan.

Morgan: But-

Star: How about we go to the grooming parlor?

Morgan: Okay!

Well, there you have it, folks, Neopia's myths and facts, all sorted out. I hoped you learned a thing or two from it and enjoyed doing so in the process, even if it was a bit on the short side. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the grooming parlor. Until next time!

-Star

NOTE: No neopets, faeries, muffins, or cobralls were harmed emotionally or physically in the making of this article, although we did have a little conflict with Jhudora, who by the way is the best faerie ever. You should totally do her quest instead of Illusen's. *nervous twitch*