Putting the Pet Back in Pet's Page

With this comes a very pressing question: Just because we can, does that really mean we should?

Yes, it just may be time to consider doing the unthinkable and letting your pet have a say in what goes on their page. Neopians everywhere are greedily seizing their pet’s page from their pet and using it for their own means, and this had no reason to start, nor does it have any reason to continue.

There are countless points behind this argument. The page is, after all, officially entitled “Pet’s Page.” Every reader should be aware that the ‘apostrophe s’ makes pet possessive, giving the phrase the meaning ‘page belonging to pet.’ Maybe we don’t have our own Neopian’s Page, but honestly, we have our lookups. What more do we really need? Many Neopians already mark up their pet’s lookup with whatever they think looks acceptable, and then turn around doing the same thing to the pet’s page. What does this leave the pet with? Nothing, nothing at all. Besides, if TNT meant for us to have pages, they would have given us one. That alone should be enough for you.

Not only is the taking of the page wrong, but it has an extremely negative impact on the pet that falls victim to the action. Even those who simply neglect the page and leave it at default can contribute.

Neopets everywhere secretly long to have their pet page returned to them. “It’s like I have no voice in the world,” sniffled one lonely Koi. Countless pets voiced similar sentiments, and one Gelert commented, “I wish I could tell my owner how I feel, but... he wouldn’t listen to me.”

Of course, there are a few pets on the other side, a large majority of them Unis. “Puh-lease,” one such Uni said from her home in Neopia Central. “Like I would ever want to learn about HTML and make one of my own.” The Uni’s companion added, “Pet’s page? Aren’t those the thingies with the Lupe icon on the pet lookup? Yeah, I guess I don’t really care either.”

The emotional hardships that comes with pets being stripped of their pages is not the only side effect. The repressed anger and hostility can come out in other ways. Many can still recall the incident last week involving the baby Skeith who ate his pet page. What no one thought was significant enough to mention was the fact that prior to the eating, the owner had changed the pet’s page from the Skeith’s wish list to a testimony about how much the owner loved lamps. Knowing that, how can you blame the Skeith? There are other cases everywhere that have suspected roots in pet page problems.

It’s important to consider whether any recent changes in your pet’s temperament have anything to do with what you do to their page. According to my own Shoyru and her friends, most of the pets they know will act out by eating the page, if able, going into extreme bits of sulking, and committing uncharacteristic acts they will later regret, such as getting rid of a beloved petpet.

The solution to this startling epidemic is really quite simple. Pet psychologists recommend sitting down with your pets in a quiet, familiar, and comfortable place, such as the living room in your Neohome. (In case of any temper tantrums that might take place, make sure to keep your pets at a safe distance from any valuable and potentially breakable objects.) Once seated, start off by informing your pets that their opinions do and always will mean something to you. Proceed by asking what they would do with their page if they had the power, and follow through by taking them with you to Pet Central to change their page to their liking.

Some pets who are eager to please will insist that they love whatever you do with their page. Although some pets who voice that opinion are sincere, most say these things because they fear that their true feelings will upset you. The pet psychologists say the best way to distinguish the sincere from insincere is to have a second talk with the pet away from their siblings. It may take some time – an hour or two in more extreme cases – but a pet will almost always admit the truth in the end. Pets who scream, "I really don't care about it so just leave me alone already!!" can almost always be believed.

If your Kougra wants to devote her page to marshmallows and you absolutely can’t bear to part with the poem that currently resides there, there’s no reason to panic. The famed head of the Neopian Hospital, an esteemed Gelert who happens to have credentials in pet psychology, shares his advice. “So many owners think it has to be all or nothing,” he says. “In reality, it doesn’t have to be your page or the pet’s page. A compromise is perfectly acceptable and will ease 99.65% of pet’s page-related angst. You may consider splitting the page with your pet, with a solid line between yours and the pet’s half. The majority of my patients have had the most long term success using this method.”

The huge wave of owners recklessly changing their pet’s page must be stopped. Talk with your pets using the methods above. Your pets may not have even realized how unhappy their lack of expression makes them until they are finally able to voice their feelings to all of Neopia in the form of their page. The mood around Neohome may take a turn for the better as pet’s spirits are lifted. Have your pets encourage their friends to speak out to their owners about how they feel on the matter. Tell your friends to consider asking their pets about the pages. Perhaps when every pet has their page safely returned to them, Neopia will be an all around happier planet.