Another Candychan Tale

“Helloooo...”

     I squished my eyelids together and mumbled something that I hoped sounded terrifying enough to send the speaker of the offending voice away.

     “Hellooooo...”

     No such luck, it seems. I blinked open an eye and glared up at the individual. I didn’t get a good view, as the sun was right behind him or her, and just gave me a shadowy outline of the character. I pulled myself into a sitting position, and realized that I had been lying in the snow. “I must be on Terror Mountain,” I thought.

     “Glad I managed to save you,” he stated. “I am rather good at doing things like that.”

     I ignored his babbling while I got a better idea of my surroundings. A quick glance at my annoying “savoir,” if he can be called that, confirmed my idea.

     He was made of the finest white snow, with deep charcoal eyes and magnificent green wings. Clearly a Snow Candychan, and I must admit, a rather striking one at that.

     He noticed my ogling and sat down next to me. He crinkled his forehead and said, “What kind of Candychan are you? You don’t look like you’re blue or rainbow or ghost or... anything really.” An idea seemed to have struck him as he declared, “Maybe you’re just pretending to be a Candychan! Ooh, I knew everyone was envious of our utter magnificence,” he finished with a decisive nod.

      “I am not pretending to be a Candychan,” I hissed at him. “I am a Candychan.” Hmm, I don’t know how I knew that, but it felt right. Now that I considered it, I wasn’t really sure what or where I had been before.

      I quickly waved away the negative thoughts with a brush of my hand, as it doesn’t really matter what had happened, only what was happening now. I seemed to remember enough things that it didn’t really matter how I came to be whatever I was at the moment.

      “I have never seen a brown Candychan,” he said, “and seeing as how I have generously introduced myself to most Candychans, I think I would know if one existed or not.”

      I wandered over to a nearby frozen lake and peered down at my figure. He quickly appeared beside me. “Actually,” he frowned, “you kind of look like chocolate.”

      That seemed to be a reasonable assumption. I was striped with two kinds of milk chocolate, one a little richer in color than the other, with dark chocolate eyes. My wings were made of whipped cream and they appeared to be dusted with cocoa powder. Unlike my current companion, who had hair made of nice brown twigs, I was left bald.

      “So, it seems that you would be correct,” I said out loud, while I thought, “I actually look pretty darn good.”

      His reflection looked smug, and he grinned widely as he proclaimed, “I discovered a new type of Candychan! I knew I was magnificent, but gosh, I didn’t know I’d do something like this. Well, after I discovered the zombies, I really shouldn’t have been too surprised.” He put his chin in his hand and appeared to think carefully.

      “...Zombies...?” I ventured carefully.

      “Oh, yes. I think they must have come from the Haunted Woods or something, where the Ghost Candychans are... you know how they’re all envious of the Snow Candychans. Anyway, they came in here recently, and have been terrifying the local Neopets. Poor creatures, they don’t know much of anything. You know, I saved a Neopet once, I called her It, and then she wandered off. I wonder what happened to her?”

      I coughed, then said, “Yes, very well. Let’s go investigate this matter.” I headed off to the entrance of the Ice Caves, where I could get a good view of Happy Valley.

      “Oh, yes! You can be my sidekick, and I will cleverly call you ‘Androcles’ sidekick,’” he declared. “After all, I discovered you.”

      I grumbled, and was about to correct him in that I had discovered myself, thank you very much, when I got a good view of the not-so-Happy Valley. These ghastly Neopets crawled over the Valley, their grey forms moving silently through the snow. There wasn’t a huge variety in the type of Neopets, it looked mostly like Usuls and Aishas, but they had enough of them in numbers.

      “What are they doing?” I whispered to Androcles, my voice dropping low out of uncertainly and a slight tinge of fear.

      “I’m not sure, but I haven’t seen any normal Neopets in days. Maybe they’re looking for food?” he suggested, the idea not seeming like a very good one to me.

      “Um... heh... what sort of food do you think zombies eat?” I asked hesitantly; we both looked at each other, and I could see realization creeping into his eyes.

      No words needed to be spoken as the idea “Let’s get out of here!” occurred to both of us. We turned back toward the Ice Caves, and a hissing off to the side distracted us from getting too far.

      “IT!” Androcles shrieked, then kicked off from the ground and flew quickly away from me. So much for being his sidekick.

      I backed up against the cool, smooth wall of the cave. “Um, hello there,” I acknowledged her presence shakily. I provided my best “please don’t eat me” smile, and hoped that the Neopet understood. She babbled something, and proceeded to come closer to me. The optimist that I am, I took her chattering to mean, “Why, hello there dear Candychan, who I have no interest in eating. I just want a better look at you. Maybe you should fly away, so I can get a good look at the gorgeousness of your wings.”

      “Unfortunately, beautiful, kind It,” that is what Androcles said her name was, correct? “you are a touch too close for me to fly away properly. Perhaps you should back up a smidge, and then you can get a nice view of my fluffy whipped cream wings.” I fluttered them in order to show her just how lovely they were, which she apparently took as me saying, “Of course you can pick me up.”

      I strained against her vice-like grip, but to no avail. “Androcles! Androcles, you coward, help me! Distract her, throw a snowball or something,” I hollered, in case he was watching my demise from close by. I heard my voice echo around the Caves, and got the feeling that I was utterly alone.

      She turned me on my side, as if I had not been struggling or calling for help at all, and looked at my abdomen, a bit of drool appearing in the corner of her mouth. This is so not the way I wanted to go.

      Her teeth approached my stomach and I felt some slight pressure, but nothing particularly painful. It, on the other hand, screamed and dropped me, which is when I saw a couple of her teeth fall out of her mouth, landing with a small “poosh” sound as they hit the snow.

     I peered at my stomach, and while I could see some teeth marks, they seemed like they would heal quickly. “Terror Mountain’s cold temperatures froze my chocolate body!” I comprehended, and with that realization, my eyes searched for It, so I could smirk at her crumpled form.

      Where she had been, however, now stood the Snowager, smacking his mouth thoughtfully. “That’s the second time she woke me up,” he murmured with his harsh voice. “I think she tasted better the first time,” he commented to himself, more than to me, and slithered away.

      I think I like Terror Mountain.

The End