The Return of Sloth: The Musical! - Part Two

[Lights up on a room in Sloth’s flagship. The décor is a dark and sickly green. The only piece of furniture is a large swiveling chair with a high back. Sloth sits in it, but all the audience can see of him is the very top of his head and one of his hands resting on the chair’s arms, its fingers beating out an impatient tattoo. Almost immediately, Gormos enters. Sloth stops his impatient tapping. Gormos sings, his voice gravelly and rough.]

Gormos: Garoo’s troops have landed, sir.

Your plan can now begin.

His squads are starting to inter

The civilians within.

Ylana’s ready to beam down

And try to find the Scout.

She’s sure to be somewhere around;

We’ll quickly find her out.

In short, sir, everything’s going as planned.

I merely await your next command.

Sloth [spoken, his voice oily, sinister, and dark]: Good. Begin phase two.

[Gormos bows and exits. Sloth resumes his tapping. Lights down. Lights up on the room in the Space Station where we first met Cylara. However, the mood is very different. Instead of the bustling excitement of before, there is tension and fear. The civilians sit huddled in the room’s corners. Garoo’s armored Blumaroos pace through the crowd with blasters drawn, keeping order. Garoo himself stands confidently at center stage.]

Garoo: The deed is done, at last we’ve won.

Sloth’s plan has now come to fruition.

It’s easy to see it was all due to me

And my wonderfully keen intuition.

[Ylana Skyfire enters from stage right.]

Ylana [spoken]: Ha! That’s a laugh.

[Ylana is a tall, lanky blue Acara. She is a bounty hunter hired by Sloth, but has no true loyalty to anyone but herself. She projects an air of haughtiness and superiority. From the way Garoo glares at her, it is clear that they have encountered each other in the past.]

Garoo: What do you want, Ylana Skyfire?

[muttering under his breath] Treacherous scum, loyal for hire.

Ylana [ignoring his last comment]: Sloth couldn’t trust you with a task such as mine.

You wouldn’t be up to it. Not to malign,

But this is a job that requires finesse.

Sloth would be remiss to send less than the best. [She gestures towards herself.]

Garoo: Just go do your job and don’t get in my way.

But as soon as you’re done, get out fast; no delay.

[Garoo storms stage left and shouts orders at his troops, clearly annoyed. Ylana just smiles and takes a step downstage.]

Ylana: Some say I’m a traitor, some say that I’m fickle.

Some say that I’m lawless, some say I’m contrary.

But the truth is, when you find yourself in a pickle,

The one that you want on your side’s a mercenary.

As long as you’ve neopoints to back up your demands,

There isn’t a more loyal soldier around.

The thing that most pets these days don’t understand

Is that morals and ethics can just drag you down.

Money’s the only thing that has real meaning;

The only real way to quantify your worth.

So when I get paid for my rough intervening,

I’ll do it with laughter, with joy and with mirth.

Assassinate someone? Of course, for a price.

Betray a whole kingdom? Why not?

Life is no more than a roll of the dice.

Nothing has meaning if it can’t be bought.

And so they hire me if they want the job done.

I’ll do for them, and I’ll do it with ease.

But careful – I have loyalty to none.

Pay me more, and I’ll turn coat before they can sneeze.

Life’s purposeless – we all exist in a void.

There are no such things as wrong and as right.

Nothing is built that won’t soon be destroyed;

Our lives are as shadows that pass in the night.

But still, even I have some qualms about Sloth.

He’s eviler by far than any I’ve served.

And as much as I enjoy the foment and froth…

But no; I must keep my emotions reserved.

I must find the Scout; that’s all that now matters.

So hurry! Get to it! No time for this chatter.

[Ylana spins on her heel and walks upstage, inspecting the prisoners, searching for the Scout. Once she is far upstage, Gorix and Cylara poke their heads up through the trapdoor in the stage.]

Gorix: Surprise is the key to our plan; it’s inherent.

Now come on, Cylara, let’s go find your parents.

Cylara: This is all so exciting! I wish it could continue.

But I guess now I’ll return to a more boring venue.

Goodbye, Mr. Gorix, I’m glad that we met.

And thank you for helping me; I’m in your debt.

Gorix: Don’t mention it, friend, ‘twas the least I could do.

But hurry, we have to find safety for you.

We’re prepared to attack, and this I avow.

[into his wrist communicator] All right, my troops, on my mark… ready… NOW!

[Suddenly, Resistance members burst in from all sides. Some may even rappel down from the flies. There is chaos: blasters firing, civilians panicking, Resistance fighters grappling with Garoo’s guards. After several moments of intense battle, Garoo emerges from the chaos.]

Garoo: We’re under attack! We have to regroup!

We can’t keep this up; retreat for now, troops!

[Garoo leads his soldiers off stage left. Ylana ducks behind a bank of machinery, unnoticed. The Resistance members celebrate and lead the civilians off right. Cylara finds her parents and runs to them.]

Cylara: Mother! Father! I’m glad you’re all right

And didn’t get harmed in this most recent fight!

Simon: Cylara, my darling!

Mella: Were you hurt in the conflicts?

Cylara: Not at all, thanks to my newest friend, Gorix.

Gorix: Oh, that. It was nothing. Now, follow those squads [pointing to some Resistance members]

And they’ll lead you all off to the escape pods.

Cylara [hugging Gorix]: Goodbye, dear Gorix, I’ll never forget

All that you did for me.

Gorix: Really, no sweat.

[Simon, Mella, and Cylara begin to exit stage right. Cylara and Gorix wave to each other. The Cybunny Scout approaches Gorix and taps him on the shoulder.]

Scout: Are you Gorix?

Gorix: Are you the scout?

Scout: That’s me, don’t have any doubt!

Gorix: Thank goodness I’ve found you; we have to make haste

Back to HQ, or else the mission’s a waste.

Scout: I’m glad to finally return to the Resistance.

I hope my information can be of assistance.

[Ylana pops up from her hiding place and points a blaster at the Scout and Gorix.]

Ylana: Don’t go off so fast, my little Cybunny!

My employer, Sloth, promised good money

If I could eliminate you and your data.

Now get ready to meet my old blaster (class theta,

But still just as deadly as any class phi);

And now, dearest Scout, prepare to die!

[Ylana aims her blaster at the Scout, but as she fires, Cylara runs across the stage and tackles her. The bolt from Ylana’s blast hits the Cybunny Scout’s foot.]

Cylara: Gorix, quickly, help me out!

Gorix: My blaster surely has enough clout!

[Gorix fires his blaster at Ylana, who shrieks and collapses to the ground.]

Gorix: While she’s stunned, let’s get away;

We’ll live to fight another day.

[Garoo re-enters from stage left with more soldiers than before. He catches sight of Gorix, Cylara, and the Scout.]

Garoo: Quickly, now, my reinforcements!

Fire on them! You have my endorsement

To use all the violence you feel that you must.

I want those rebels ground to dust!

(I knew that Ylana couldn’t maintain

Control of the situation; that takes a brain

Of great cunning like mine. That foolish pet

Thinks she’s so tough, but she’s hardly a threat.)

What are you waiting for, my loyal troops?

Fire on them before they regroup!

[Garoo’s soldiers begin to fire; Gorix quickly opens the trapdoor and gestures towards it.]

Gorix: Come on, you two, get into this duct!

Act quickly, and do just as I instruct.

[The three pets jump down through the trapdoor, the Scout limping. Garoo’s soldiers look confused.]

Garoo Soldier: Where’d they go, boss? They’ve escaped!

Garoo: Then search for them, you stupid ape!

[Ylana begins to stir and mutter.]

Garoo [sarcastically]: Ah, I see the princess awakes.

What happened, my dear? Did you make a mistake?

I thought you were trying to capture that Scout;

Instead, all you did was to let her out –

Out of my clutches. She got away free.

This wouldn’t have happened if Sloth had sent me.

Ylana [standing up]: Come on, Garoo, you know that’s not true.

In my situation, you would have failed too.

This isn’t the place to try and save face;

We have to go find them! Come on, let’s give chase!

Garoo: Too late, Ylana, they’re gone now.

All we can do is figure how

To parcel out the guilt and blame.

I think that most of it is your claim.

Ylana: You stupid oaf, I was surprised!

I had them saying their goodbyes

When suddenly, a child attacked!

Needless to say, I was taken aback.

How could I expect events such as those?

Besides, then they escaped from under your nose!

Garoo: Don’t blame me for that, it was my guards’ fault!

We were surprised by a sneaky assault

And were forced to scatter – there wasn’t the time

To stop them, though my fighters are in their prime.

Ylana: Your fighters? Oh, please, don’t make me laugh.

Not a single one of them’s equal to half

The fighter that I am, and this should be clear,

For I am a mercenary without peer.

Garoo: Enough with this bickering! That’s it, I’m done!

We have to team up and find those rebel scum.

Ylana: As much as I hate to admit it, you’re right.

Come on, then, you soldiers! Shoot them on sight!

[Garoo’s soldiers salute and fan out. They draw their blasters and begin to hunt. Garoo and Ylana exit left, still bickering quietly. Lights down. End of Act II.]