Spectacular Spooky Furniture: The Essential Guide!

If you're thinking of adding some often overlooked Spooky Furniture to your neohome this Halloween, you're in the right place! This is my guide to the 15 essential items of Spooky Furniture. Your Neohome will never be the same again!

The list is in no particular order.

1. Dribblet Chair

Now, you may not want to actually sit on this chair, or in fact stand anywhere close to it. However, the constant slobbering and slurping noises are sure to be a talking point amongst your guests, and it does always have a smile on its face. Just make sure you clean up the puddles of drool in case someone slips in it.

2. Furwitch Pillow

This cute and cuddly pillow is a must have for your spooky bedroom, and can get quite attached to its owner (in more ways than one). Just remember, when it interrupts your slumber by biting your face, it's just because it loves you!

3. Esophagor Bath Tub

This bath tub really does look the part. With its red eyes and green tinge, it's sure to scare the living daylights out of anyone who comes across it... and if that alone doesn't scare them, the stench of swamp certainly will. However, the most wonderful thing about this bath tub is that it's self-filling! Yes, self-filling! It even maintains a comfortably warm temperature all by itself. With such a self-sufficient bath tub, you needn't worry that what you're bathing in is slimy and smelly and most likely drool. It's such a time saver!

4. Evil Hand Chair With Lumbar Support

This chair is simply fantastic, especially if you're prone to an itchy back. Just sit back, relax and let the fingers take care of all your itchy issues. You might want to clean under its fingernails occasionally, though.

5. Orange Spyder Candle

It's a pet and a light source in one! You can train the spyder to follow you around so you have light wherever you go! Particularly handy in a blackout. Though if you are unlucky enough to purchase a particularly mischievous one, it will take great delight in running away from you and leaving you stumbling around in the dark. It's also a good idea to keep it away from furniture when lit. Just a warning.

6. Deserted Carnival Bed

In my opinion, this is the most terrifying of all spooky furniture. Nobody likes clowns, or at least they shouldn't. Especially not evil clowns from the deserted fairground. As horrifying as it looks, though, this bed manages to be wonderfully comfortable, and if you're okay with putting your head dangerously close to the large, fanged mouth of a clown, then this is an essential purchase. Rumours that the haunting sounds of carnival music have been known to come from this bed remain unproven; however, if you're perfectly fine with having this bed in your neohome, let's face it, a little random carnival music is not going to bother you.

7. Meepit Lamp

Now, we all know the reputation that Meepits have. Cute, furry things who occasionally plot Neopian domination and like to bite. A lot. This lamp is no different; in fact, it's not even a lamp at all. Upon closer inspection, you'll find it is simply a particularly angry Meepit with a lamp shade on its head. What an ingenious idea on the part of the Meepit! It can now make its way undetected into neohomes, and then attack whoever it wants! Thanks to this guide, though, you have been forewarned and can avoid any nasty accidents by handling this "lamp" with great care and possibly some very strong gloves. I would also suggest going to bed with boots on, as angry Meepits and ankles do not make a pretty picture.

8. Spooky Speaker

Perfect for Halloween parties, you needn't worry about where to put this speaker! It floats! You may have trouble getting it to play actual music, though, as it prefers to emit a rather spine-tingling sound of its own... for at least 23 hours a day. But just think about all that space you'll save!

9. Meepit Chair

This will go perfectly with your Meepit Lamp! Again, though, this is not really a chair for sitting on. Whereas the dribblet chair will leave you with a large wet patch on your clothes, the Meepit Chair will leave you with not many clothes at all. It may even swallow you whole.

It's just so cute, though!

10. Double Coffin Wardrobe

Plenty of space to store your Halloween costumes! I hear Count Von Roo himself owns one. The doors are terribly creaky, though, and no matter how much you dust and clean inside it, the cobwebs and musty smell do not seem to disappear. It does make a wonderful hiding place for those impromptu games of hide-and-seek, or for when your Meepit Lamp is feeling rather disgruntled.

11. Esophagor Table

Rather like the Esophagor Bath Tub, this table is a bit smelly, but with its large size, it is perfect for laying out food for parties. Bear in mind, though, it is an Esophagor Table, therefore will be prone to getting very hungry. Don't be surprised if plates of food "mysteriously" go missing throughout the night, and if you'd rather your delicious home baked Halloween cookies didn't go missing, I would advise feeding the table yourself before a party. Besides, you don't want it bothering your guests all night by asking them to fetch it some puuummppkkkiiininn coookkiiieeeessss or a booogggiieeee beeerrryyyy, do you?

12. Meowclops Head Pillow

Not really very spooky at all, but essential because it's adorable! Soft and cuddly, it's just like a real Meowclops, except with no body. Maybe that's the spooky part. Cuddle this pillow close and it will purr like the real thing. You can also place it in your living room, where it will keep an eye on everything, rather like a furry security system. The best thing is, it doesn't bite. Not that I've heard of, anyway... but there's a first time for everything.

13. Mutant Rug

Just like having your very own swamp in your neohome! Place it in the center of the room and whenever someone walks over it, it will make a wonderful squelchy, oozing sound. It will also produce endless smelly, green gunk, so place it next to any of your Esophagor items to make them feel right at home!

14. Cauldron Table

Wonderful if you don't want to keep making trips to the kitchen. Simply slide off the glass top, fill the cauldron with your broth of choice (ideally something bubbling and gooey) slide the top back on, and you have a large portable soup bowl! Just remove the top whenever you fancy seconds or thirds, and who wouldn't want thirds of a lovely bubbling broth. Just remember to share it with the Esophagor items.

15. Casket Bookcase

Every neohome should have a bookcase. The only difference with this one is that it will only tolerate scary tales and other spooky books. You just try and place Fyoras Hair Care on its shelves, and it will soon be flying across the room and thwomping you on the back of the head. No, this bookcase does not take kindly to such colourful, sparkly books. It may be able to tolerate something such as Dark Faerie Dreams, but nobody wants to test it and receive another lump on their head. It's better to be safe with books such as Ghost Lupe Spooky Stories or Halloween Acara Tales. Other than its tendency for throwing books, this is a wonderful addition to your neohome.

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And there you have it, with this guide you should be able to make an informed decision on what to buy, and also be aware of what body parts you need to watch out for when dealing with certain pieces. Please be informed that I can't be held responsible for any injuries caused by any of the furniture, or any carpet damage/holes in the wall/chunks bitten out of your other furniture... after all, they're just suggestions!