The Meepit Adventures: A Tale of Two Staffs - Part Two

      On the other hand, travel through space is rather bland. Sure, teleporting is nice and all, but can you better your life through it? Well, yes, but it’s not as fun. Or as dangerous. Take, for instance, the story of the Meepit who, with three duplicates of himself (one had a moustache) from different times, decided to travel through time and space to launch a massive pranking spree. This idea... didn’t go very well.

      “Is this thing even working?” Mr. Meepit smacked the shoddy-looking staff against a boulder. After attempting to take off on his adventure, he had the misfortune to realize that the Staff of Time did not, in fact, transport him through time. His doppelgangers, however, were more fortunate, and no longer by his side. “Hello? Hello?!?”

      Just moments ago, a portal had been conjured by him and his reality-bending pals; however, it closed before he could enter it. Now Mr. Meepit was alone in a still Neopia Central. He was, however, happy that he was back in his own time in Year 8. It was at this point that Mr. Meepit thought over his circumstances, and considered something odd – no-one was moving.

      He looked to his left, and a pants-less Neopian was chasing after an odd blue blur. Both people, though, were still – stuck in mid-air. Everywhere Mr. Meepit looked, he saw the same thing. Balloons floating in mid-air, Meuka sneezing on the Giant Ghostkerchief – nothing moved. Time was frozen. “Uh oh.”

      Mr. Meepit picked up the Staff of Time to attempt to restart time; however, he realized to his dismay that his earlier outburst had in fact decapitated the alarm-clock-plus-staff combination, and the clock had fallen into the Wishing Well. He ‘borrowed’ a fishing rod, because, well, no one could stop him, and attempted to get the clock back, but to no avail. The Staff of Time was gone- Mr. Meepit was trapped, and couldn’t be rescued. “Well, I better get pranking.”

     ***

      In the past two stories, the bad guy was a Feepit. Sure, it was a bit clichéd, but that’s what happens in life. Cliché after Cliché. Déjà vu all over again. Fortunately for Mr. Meepit, the Feepit was defeated in the last fight they had. Unfortunately for Mr. Meepit, the Wishing Well went a lot deeper than he though. In fact, it led right through Neopia, on an odd curve, and ended right inside the Esophagor. Really, it makes sense. Where do you think the Esophagor’s food goes? And where did you think the items from the Wishing Well are made?

      Why was this unfortunate for Mr. Meepit? Well, you see, when the broken clock was absorbed into the Esophagor, he returned to his original form as a relatively evil Feepit. This time, however, he had internal time travel powers, which also allowed him to move when time was frozen. “I’m back,” was all he said, before he travelled back in time to summon an army of the most evil beings known to Neopia.

     ***

      “So, that’s now... ninety-nine percent of Neopians who have underpants on their heads,” Mr. Meepit concluded as he walk past parades of oddly-dressed Neopians. “I think this constitutes my best prank ever!” Mr. Meepit sighed. “And yet no-one can see it...”

      “I wouldn’t be so sure, Meepit.” Mr. Meepit was surprised by the voice, and immediately glanced upwards. In front of him stood Dr. Sloth, Lord Kass, Malkus Vile, the Bringer and the most vile creature ever to grace Neopia: a small blue and white puffball. “Feepit,” Mr. Meepit yelled, before diving into a symol hole nearby. As he crawled away, he heard a high-pitched voice yelling for his capture.

      It took a long time, but Mr. Meepit managed to crawl out the other end of the Symol Hole, and realized he had crawled to Altador. ‘How ironic,’ he thought, ‘time’s frozen and I’m in Altador.’ He decided that perhaps saving his own life was more important than wondering the intricacies of the Universe, and ran to find a place to hide in the Hall of Heroes.

     ***

      Meanwhile, in the frozen-in-time Defenders of Neopia HQ, the villains decided to convene a meeting to discuss the Meepit menace. The frozen Defenders were not in the HQ, you see, because the villains had removed them, put them onto the roof, and covered them in cookies’n’cream ice cream. Unfortunately for the Defenders, Judge Hog was allergic to chocolate, and the ice cream made him puff up like a balloon.

      “I say we get Heermeedjet and his brother to help us,” suggested Lord Kass. “The two are wily thieves, and would get on the Meepit’s side rather easily.”

      “No, those two are too unreliable,” rebutted Malkus Vile. “They couldn’t even steal a dead Lupe’s crown!”

      “It’s those Neopets,” said Dr. Sloth. “Now, if we had Virtupets...”

      “Oh, be quiet, Sloth,” said the Bringer, “you’re just a sourpuss because you couldn’t solve the puzzle in your last plot to take over Neopia!”

      “Quiet! All of you!” The bickering was not pleasing to the near-omnipotent Feepit’s ears. “I’ve called you all because each of you controls an army. Vile, you control the criminals. Kass, you control the Dariganites of your time. Bringer, you control, well, your minions. Sloth-”

      “DOCTOR Sloth,” Dr. Sloth interrupted.

      “Whatever! You controlled the Grundos in your time. Now, I will take each of you back to your own time, and we will gather your armies. Then, we will bring them all upon Mr. Meepit, and we can rule Neopia, together!” This plan energized the villains, and all applauded their new leader.

     ***

      Mr. Meepit laid down the Staff of Space. He had spent the last hour using it to fulfill his plan, and knew that by now the villains would know where he was. As if to punctuate his last thought, the doors to the hall slammed open, and a strong gust of wind entered the hall. Mr. Meepit took the staff, and slowly exited the building, preparing for the fight of his life.

      Over the hills of Altador, four armies slowly advanced towards the lone Meepit. By squinting, he recognized various warriors for various wars from over the history of Neopia. One army wore the distinctive purple of the Darigan Citadel, one advanced with dark masks, and moved like shadows, one rampaged towards him in colours of purple, orange and green, and the final consisted of demonic entities from the Lost Desert. That wasn’t what concerned Mr. Meepit, however; that was the floating, evil Feepit leader who lurked above all four. “Your day of reckoning is here, Meepit! Prepare to die!”

      The four villainous masterminds leapt closer to Mr. Meepit, and were only one centimetre away from him before their Feepit leader stopped them. “No,” he said, “I get the first blow.” Sure enough, the sentence was punctuated with a punch to Mr. Meepit’s head; however, he managed to teleport before being hit.

      “Feepit, you never learn. Meepits are just so much more... intelligent!” At this point, all five leaders had given up any plan, and rushed at him, weapons ready. “And you other four... you don’t learn from your mistakes; you just sweep them under the rug.”

      “Who are you, to demean us,” asked Sloth.

      “I’m the one... who unsweeps your mistakes.” A rumble arose from inside the Hall of Heroes. All of the villains and their armies stopped, and turned their slowly-becoming-scared eyes towards the entrance of the landmark. First, Judge Hog came out, still as puffed as a balloon, but he had somehow managed to fit into his uniform again. Oh, and become unfrozen.

      “Defenders... get them!” The shout from the Moehog led to a stampede of unmutated Grundos, the Defenders of Neopia, Meridellian Knights, and a whole group of average Neopians. The enemy forces were soon overwhelmed: the Meridellians took out the Darigan soldiers, the unmutated Grundos outsmarted their Virtupet brethren, and the average Neopians and Defenders of Neopia took out Vile’s criminals. It was an awesome sight to behold; however, the only two non-participants were paying no attention, only watching each other.

      The Feepit just snorted. “So, you unfroze everyone by using the Staff of Space. Ingenious. But now, you see, you are mine!” He flew at Mr. Meepit and grabbed the Staff of Space, absorbing it as he had its partner. “Now, I am all powerful!”

      “You would be, if you weren’t just a Feepit!” The voice startled the Feepit, as it was Mr. Meepit’s voice, but hadn’t come from his body. “You’ve underestimated me, again.” This time, it had. It was at this point that the Feepit realized what was happening, and turned around swiftly to see three copies of his arch nemesis, each holding both a Staff of Time and Staff of Space.

      “You just don’t get it, Feepit,” said our favourite Mr. Meepit. “You can’t beat us! Meepits always win!” With that, he kicked the Feepit into his four time-clones, who teleported the white and blue puffball to the end of time.

      ***

     The four of them surveyed the land of Neopia. Pets were moving, the land was bustling, and four major villains were newly locked up in the Defenders HQ. “We should return the staffs,” said one Meepit.

     “To where,” asked another.

     “To our own times,” replied the first.

     “But think of all the fun we could have,” argued the second through his moustache.

     “We could still continue that time-travelling pranking spree,” suggested a third. The final suggestion concerned the Year 8 Mr. Meepit, who finally spoke.

     “No,” he said simply, “I’m all up for pranking, but these... these staffs are too powerful. They must be destroyed.”

     “But--” The other three’s rebuttal was quickly interrupted by Year 8 Mr. Meepit.

     “Return to your times, and you can use them. But do not, under any circumstances, attempt to duplicate them, you, or go further than 24 hours into the past or future. Okay?”

     “Fine...” The idea disappointed the others, but they couldn’t argue with the intelligence behind it, and so, after a few final goodbyes, the three departed to their own time periods, leaving Mr. Meepit staff-less in Year 8.

     “Bah, I never liked them anyway. There can be only one Mr. Meepit.”

The End