Neo News: Slush Hour

Me: There’s quite a line to get in, but here with me is Gerry the Yellow Ogrin. Hello there, Gerry.

Gerry: Hello, miss, nice to meet.

Me: The pleasure’s all mine. So Gerry, will it be all right to ask you a few questions about your normal experience at the Slushie Café?

Gerry: Oh goodness – where do I begin? It’s slow, people are angry, brash. We’re all too close together. The place is a mess, cups everywhere; it stinks! You think the stadium’s hot? Try waiting in there for a slushie for half an hour. My fur goes humid. Then there’s...

Me: Thank you, Gerry, that’s enough on that matter. What about the waitress? What do you think of her?

Gerry: That’s what I was going to say before you cut me off. Just like her you are, ignoring–

Oh, I’m in! That’d be a Jumbleberry slushie! Jumbleberry!

So yes, as I was saying, if you notice, she’ll attend to those on the far left, even the middle as well, before she attends to us. I should be going to the far left more often but the line’s even longer. I don’t know which option is more worth it.

Me: Thank you very much, Gerry, looks like you’ve got your slushie delivered as we were speaking. Let’s leave Gerry to enjoy his treat while we talk to someone else.

Good day, miss; may I ask what brought you down here?

Purple Tonu: Why hello, darling. It’s the children that brought me down to the stadium today, let alone this dreadful café. Personally, I don’t mind the stadium sun; it gives a nice tan. However, the young ones grew thirsty, requesting, or should I say demanding, that I get slushies for them. Now I’m baking in this enclosed heat.

Me: I see. So you’re not a slushie fan?

Purple Tonu: I greatly dislike the concept.

Me: All right, any final words about the Slushie Café?

Purple Tonu: Why yes, with a little Neopoints, that waitress can really spruce this place up. I mean, a bin here, some décor there, this place could really look fabulous.

Me: Thank you for your time, miss... sorry, I didn’t catch your name. Oh, she walked off.

Here comes a very angry Red Nimmo, let’s see why this is.

Hello there, sir, my name is Aleonare reporting for Neo News. I was wondering; why the hot face?

Ryan: Hot face? Oh, I’m angry because you didn’t even ask for my name. It’s Ryan.

Me: I’m very sorry, Ryan; it’s nice to meet you. But you were angry before I approached you - why is this?

Ryan: It’s this blasted café. Look at it! It’s a mess! I mean I just came in from endless hours of Yooyuball, with those commentators’ annoying voices while facing my team lose, to relax with a slushie; look at the line! Not only that, but right in front of me, swirling around hypnotising me, is the machine of the Zeenana slushie I want. That isn’t nice, as it’ll take me ages to get it. This makes it seem like it’s teasing me which makes me mad.

Me: Sorry about that, Ryan. Maybe you can stare at the walls to distract you from the slushie?

Ryan: Do not get me started on the walls. They’re bland, boring and brown, how unoriginal. It somewhat neutralises the slushie trance, but it’s so plain. I can’t even stare at the side walls because I don’t even support Maraqua! Their wing is just cheaper. This place is actually driving me crazy; I gotta get out of here!

Me: And off he runs. Bye, Ryan! Let’s see who we can...

Phillipa: Hey there! I’m Phillipa the Blue Peophin! Is this live? Hi, Mum! I’m on TV! Here Luce, Didi, Shona, Kay...

Me: That’d be enough, Phillipa. It’s a pleasure to meet an enthusiastic person in this sea of downers. What’s your café experience like?

Phillipa: I’m not really bothered by it. I just came for the Yooyuball, so slushies is a plus in my book. The only problem round here is the smell. Now, I think it’s from those Tonus or “Smelly Motes” as I call them. The Faerieland Slushie Café doesn’t smell bad, so for those that don’t like bad smells, they should head over down there. I also heard that the Kiko Lake café isn’t crowded.

Me: Erm... thank you very much, Phillipa.

Phillipa: You’re very welcome!

Me: Now, it’s the time most of us have been waiting for, I hope; time to interview the Slushie Waitress herself!

Hello there, Waitress, my name is Aleonare reporting for Neo News. Thank you for accepting our interview.

Waitress: It’s, very, much, all right.

Me: Such a pro! Juggling serving lots of customers and our interview at the same time.

Whoops; nearly got hit by a slinging slushie there.

So Waitress, how do you handle this, this stampede of customers?

Waitress: The word tricky best describes it. They start off slowly during the early hours of the day, but at about the–

No, you can’t have a combo! It’s one type of slushie and one type only!

Sorry, where was I? Ah yes, at about the thirteenth hour, they start rushing in without mercy, demanding their slushies immediately; it makes it so hard for me.

Me: Why don’t you just hire extra hands then?

Waitress: Mind you, it’s not as easy as you think, reporter. They don’t pay very much.

Pink Hissi: Hey! I asked for Chokato, not Zeenana! I’m not paying for this!

Waitress: You have to! I gave you something so you have to pay. Ha!

Goodness, these folks. As I was saying, they don’t pay very much and it’s even worse when I give them the wrong slushie by mistake. All my comrades in the stadium are saving up to get hired help; none of us have been successful so far. Word is, though, the Waitress at the Krawk Island wing has enough for hired help, she’s just doesn’t want the others to beg her for help if she gets it. Which does makes sense.

Another thing is... that. Look over there, cups are left behind. If the morons-- sorry, can you edit that out?

Me: Yes, we can; we only add in the important bits.

Waitress: Thanks. If they could just throw their cup in the stadium bins, it’ll save me so much time. Oh, I don’t know what to do, you’ve made me realise that this is all just so much.

Me: I am terribly sorry about all this. Maybe the Altador committee could provide you guys with Neopoints to hire help?

Hey, you’ve stopped serving.

Waitress: I know, I need to lie down.

Café’s closed, everyone. Go use a NeoCola machine or something.

Thanks for taking your time to interview me, reporter.

Me: It’s... all right.

Ok then, looks like I’ve managed to get the waitress to close the shop. That’d be all from me today at the Slushie Café, in the Maraquan Wing, of the Altador Yooyuball Stadium! Hope you’ve enjoyed this report. Now it’s time for me to go before the customers realise the closure is of my doing. I’m Aleonare the Blue Nimmo saying, byeeeeeeeeee!