An Interview with Mr. Coconut

Ever since a recent editorial was published in this very same newspaper (question #6659 in issue 442 to be exact), many Neopians have begun to ask themselves, who is Mr. Coconut? What possessed him to fall from that tree, and straight into the grip of fame? Many questions still remain unanswered, but we hope to be able to clear up some of the fog around this local celebrity today.

It took several neomails, many letters, and even some intensely creative hot air balloon advertising to coerce the fruit with the famous catch phrase to hear what we had to say. The text that follows is a transcript of what occurred.

Cheryl: Welcome, viewers. This is Cheryl Ixi responding to what we hope it to become the interview of the century, something I highly recommend you do not turn away from. We are here at the doorstep of Mr. Coconut himself with several questions we hope to have answered, but another question arises. Will he even agree to sit down with us today?

-Several knocks are heard before the red wood door finally creaks open-

Mr Coconut: H-helllo?

Cheryl: Yes, hello. This is Cheryl Ixi reporting from The Neopian Buzz, we spoke earlier about an interview?

Mr. Coconut: Wait, you’re the lady who has been sending me all those messages?! I thought I told you to get out.

Cheryl: Please, Mr Coconut, people need to know about you. How can you deny them knowledge of such a cultural sensation as yourself?

Mr Coconut:.... Cultural sensation, eh? Fine, but no cameras, paper interview only.

Cheryl: You’ve got it!

Here I was welcomed inside the quaint workings of his home. It was nothing flashy, a simple cottage on the outer edge of Mystery Island’s western beach. A very far cry from his original tree. I was welcomed into a small den area, complete with fireplace and cups of borovan. Now, since no film survives of this encounter, I will be as detailed as possible when relaying to you, my viewers, the aspects of our brief talk. He began slowly, avoiding eye contact and keeping his voice low. I was going to have to bring him out of his comfort zone.

Cheryl Ixi: Thank you for all this hospitality; cameras or not, this will be the interview of my career. Now let’s begin. What would you like to be addressed as for this?

Mr.Coconut: It’s no problem; I’ve been avoiding the public for far too long. Please, Mr. C will be fine.

C.I.: All right, Mr. C, question number one. Did you ever expect to become such a sensation? Your catchphrase has become outrageously popular with positive feedback from both pet owners and none other than TNT themselves. Do you ever find it overwhelming?

M.C.: Well, I don’t think anyone ever pictures themselves famous, and it more so becomes an unexpected surprise that you become thrown into, wanted or not. Take my circumstance, for example; one simple editorial rocketed me here. As far as the catchphrase, it unnerves me that even though I never directly said the line, I have become associated with it. //Here he began to relax and become less tense, sensing there was no danger// I sometimes feel almost like a fraud.

C.I.: Wow, you have quite a use of language, I must say. I’m glad to see you’re becoming more relaxed here, but I don’t think there’s any need not to feel that you deserve this recognition. Time and place are a valuable thing in this business.

M.C: I’ll agree to that!

C.I.:-laughs for a moment- Yes, now on to another question, where we’ll begin to focus on who you are, Mr Coconut. What kind of family did you come from?

M.C.: Ah, here we go. I sprouted from a small tree with three other siblings, Mom stayed at home and Dad was out during the day with a job. You might know him, he's was the second coconut from the left in Coconut Shy. Poor guy always came home a little bruised, but he kept us afloat. I was the only son in my family, my three younger sisters, Brownie, Choo, and Fran, taking up most of the room in our little home. It was hard, ya’know?

Always having to watch the tree and tree sit them. We all grew up okay, though. Dad just retired a few months ago and all three my siblings found their own ways. Brownie found an exclusive job as the coconut in Coco Roller; Choo runs a hair care salon. Fran kind of went off an odd way; she’s trying to fight for Coconut rights to able to participate in the Altador Cup.

C.I.: So you’ve been through quite a lot in these past few years? I’ll have to look into Fran’s cause, might make a great story! Well, I think I have a question that even I have been asking myself: What were you doing on that fateful day? Was it your intention to land on the victim, Mr. Sneky?

M.C.: Oh, of course not! My family prides- er, used to pride- themselves in not having ever fallen and injured a civilian. I’ve sent my condolences to his family and I hear he's recovering with minimal insanity. // Mr.Coconut found himself a little worked up and had to leave to the room to calm down. This experience has been traumatic for him.//

C.I.: I’m sorry to have upset you like that. I should have realized this material can be upsetting.

M.C.: No, no. Don’t worry about it; I was just a little overdramatic. I’ve gotten many letters over the past weeks, though, making me out to be some gravity defying maniac. I do want to make it clear, though, never was it my intention to harm Mr. Sneky.

C.I.: I believe after this everyone will see you for the peace loving fruit you are. Oh! I almost forgot, what was it you were doing when you landed on the Hissi in question?

M.C.: Ah, yes. I believe I was planning a vacation to Altador to watch the upcoming games... Hmm. I think it was then- yes, it was- when a spyder crawled up the branch I was hanging from and scared me right off. I’ve always been a little embarrassed to admit it, but I have a horrible fear of the little petpets.

C.I.: Well, that would certainly make sense. Now Mr. Coconut, we have one last question for you. Something I want you to think about. What is it you want the public to know about yourself?

M.C.: Very good question, Cheryl. Very good. Well, I think I just want Neopians to know that there is always a risk of falling fruit, and sometimes even vegetables, so people should exercise caution when strolling out and about.

Cheryl Ixi: Strong words, and on that note I would just like to say, GOODNIGHT MR.COCONUT!

Mr. Coconut:.... Get out.

The interview abruptly ended here. With questions in hand and smile on my face, I ran back to the office to review what we had learned. So there you have it, folks, the truth behind Neopia’s rising star. Learn from what this small coconut has told us, to be aware and to remain humble when stardom strikes. This is Cheryl Ixi, signing off.