WingWatcher: What Every Weewoo Lover Should Know

* * *

You, perched in a purple velvet chair in the front row with your buddies, lean forward eagerly. Chi Speckles is a widely known and renowned Weewoo expert, and you yourself are a diligent follower of her column in the Neopian Times. Excited murmurs pass through the crowd. It must have been hard to get Chi on the show.

Everyone settles down as Annimet and Chi lower themselves into temptingly soft-looking red sofas. Chi subtly beckons offstage, and immediately a harried-looking Shoyru trots into the spotlight, carrying a large cage. When he opens it, the audience oohs and aahs. Inside sits an elegant, alluring Weewoo, covered in dazzling iridescent pink feathers. Chi’s beak splits into a wide grin. “This is Elaenora, my Weewoo. Your Weewoo can be like this too, if you follow my tips.”

* * *

“So, Ms. Speckles, how did you produce such an amazing Petpet?”

“Many people have absolutely no idea how hard it is to care for an intelligent creature like the Weewoo. Weewoos aren’t dumb brutes. They understand what goes on around them and their owner. So treat them like equals. Don’t just leave them to rot in their cages.”

“But how could I treat Weewoos as equals when I’m the one is cleaning them and feeding them and caring for them?”

“Trust me: they appreciate it, a lot. That may sound a little cryptic, but Weewoos know how to show their appreciation, and they do it a lot. Elly even fetches the newspaper for me.”

* * *

You absently stroke your own Weewoo, and it looks up at you with bright, chipper eyes. You start to see Chi’s point. This Weewoo looks a lot smarter than some of your peers.

Chi smiles, an odd movement for someone with a beak, and leans back, absently stroking Elaenora. “Anni, do you own a Weewoo?” The question is casual, but Chi is clearly intensely interested in what Anni will say.

Annimet shifts slightly, looking unsettled under her interviewee’s gaze. “No, actually, but I’m thinking of buying one.”

Chi nods, and seems to relax. “Good thing, too. If you did have one, I’d be grilling you about your habits all night.” Everyone laughs, and the tension dissipates. Annimet moves on to the next question.

* * *

“What products do you use on Elaenora?”

“None at all, unless it’s organic shampoo. I’ve learned this the hard way: Chemicals hurt. When I was a newbie, I gave Elaenora a special Kiko Bubble Rinse that I bought from Kiko Lake, and all her feathers fell out. It took months of careful work to get Elly back to her old look, and months more to really make her shine. I never use those unreliable care products anymore.”

“That sounds horrible! But Elaenora has the greatest feathers I’ve seen in a long time. How do you explain that?”

“I just try to keep her clean and well-fed. If Elly, or any Weewoo, has the right nutrients, she’ll look fantastic. Don’t feed your Weewoo disgusting mush. Most likely it was produced by evil Skeiths working in the back of an ancient, run-down factory. I give Elly berries and leaves picked from my own backyard.”

* * *

Annimet massages her temples as Chi talks. She looks a little weary, and you remind yourself that she works 24/7 to produce the show. Chi, on the other hand, is liveliness incarnate. She gesticulates energetically as she speaks, scattering bright blue feathers all over the floor. Elaenora looks disgusted with this chirpy behavior. You start to drift away from Chi’s animated monologue, and notice that Annimet seems to be too. She does interrupt every now and then with her own tidbits, though.

“Do all Petpets need real, organic food?”

Chi bobs her head vigorously. “Yes. That’s how they would eat in the wild. Feeding them leftovers or strange mystery meat just makes you a criminal in their eyes. Did you know that Meowclopses are vegetarians?”

* * *

“Now that’s definitely a surprise. I better start giving my Meowy veggies, huh?”

“That’s what I’d suggest.”

“What about a Weewoo’s cage? Is that important?”

“Oh, yeah. I’ve seen people putting their Weewoos into suitcases, lunch boxes, Meowy carriers, you name it. It’s absolutely horrendous. Unless you’re really strapped for cash, buy one of the nice, expensive cage brands. They’re comfortable for the Weewoo, and they’re easy to carry around. And I wouldn’t advise putting bars on the outside. It makes the cage look more like a prison. I use glass—with air holes, obviously!—on the side so Elly can see what’s going on around her.”

* * *

Suddenly Elaenora begins to chirp. The “wee-woo” sound is high and smooth, resonating through the domed hall. It reminds you of a train whistle. Everyone goes silent as the twitter becomes a song that reverbrates with soft tones and silky notes. When Elaenora finishes her tune, she unanimously receives a standing ovation. Chi is beaming, wiping her eyes, applauding like the rest. Annimet turns toward her, unable to contain her excitement at finding a good question to ask.

* * *

“Do Weewoos always have the ability to sing so beautifully?”

“Yes! It always surprises people when I tell them that Weewoos can be trained. Weewoos know how to sing but generally reserve that honor for special occasions. They’re not like Albats, squalling every chance they get. However, the normal song for Weewoos can get a little grating and repetitive—wee-woo, wee-woo. You can train them to sing entire operas, if that’s what you desire. Weewoos have amazing voice box capacity.”

“Wow! What a show, if I do say so myself!”

“I completely agree, Anni. It’s been wonderful onstage with you.”

* * *

Sleepy Annimet seems to have gotten a full burst of adrenaline from hearing Elaenora sing and is applauding so hard that her red feathers are joining Chi’s on the floor. As Chi gets up to leave, roses are thrown by admirers—even a few from the wings.

* * *

“Well, that about wraps it up for this week’s edition of WingWatcher! I sure hope you guys out there had as much fun as we here did today. My thanks to Chi Speckles and Elaenora for livening up today’s performance, and we’ll see you again next week on WingWatcher!”