An Evening with Krawk Island's Gavril McGill

A glitzed up Striped Xweetok sits across from Governor Gavril McGill in his Mansion, as the camera pans out from the introduction shot. The room is large, but cramped with staff from The Neopian Times. During the filming break, an Earth Faerie primps the reporter's mane while a large Red Grarrl with the tiniest newsy hat sets up a camera across from the two plump leather chairs. A young looking Yellow Buzz in a frizzy blonde wig flies around the room, obviously the glamorous Xweetok's assistant. The Governor looks anxious, constantly crossing and undercrossing his legs as he pulls his hat down low. An Air Faerie blows a puff of makeup onto his cheeks, and he coughs in response.

TNT's Reporter: Mr. McGill, I'm so thankful you allowed us into your beautiful home for this interview! It is stunning, just stunning!

Governor Gavril McGill: That'd be Governor McGill to ya, missy! And uh, yes, thank you for the compliments... I have nothing to hide here! (At this point, the Governor discreetly closes a trap door under his foot, and pulls the nearest rug over it.) Mi casa is uh... your casa as well, matey!

TNTR: It is magnificent! You have so many wonderful Krawk Island collectibles. You must really love your citizens! (The camera pans to a wall of photos, all of which feature the Governor with burly, aggressive-looking Pirate Neopets. Along side the photos, various pirate weapons hang from hooks, clearly on display.) But our readers have all been asking: What does Gavril McGill do in his off time?

GGM: I told ya already, it's Governor McGill! (the Governor growls this sentence toward the reporter, but then notices her apprehension) Oh now... now don't be getting scared there, little missy! I couldn't hurt a flea! I leave that up to... Wait, what was the question?

TNTR: Oh right! (The Xweetok flips back a few pages in her notes, clearly thrown off by the Governor.) Yes, well, your fans are just dying to know the best place to rub shoulders with the who's who of Krawk Island!

GGM: Ah, well, I've got to say even after the, uh... let's call them renovations, shall we? After it was all fixed up, The Golden Dubloon is the best spot to grab some Grog. It comes in over forty flavors. I reckon they'll be naming one after me any day now!

TNTR: I must stop by before I leave! It looks so quaint and...(The Xweetok coughs, and raises an eyebrow, before fixing her mane) charming! Yes, just absolutely charming! Any other favorites here on the island?

GGM: As you can see, I moved the Dubloon-o-Matic right into my back yard. I like to keep it nice and close, you know... just in case any poor Neopian needs some, well.. assistance!

TNTR: That is so kind of you, Governor. Always looking to help his fellow Neopian, a truly inspiring Governor! Krawk Island looks so lovely now. It's hard to believe it was nearly completely lost! How did you first become inspired to save the beloved land?

GGM: Well, you sees, I were always destined for greatness. Yessir, I knew that right from the start! And as soon as I saw the waters arising, I bolted into action. Not to spoil anything fer ya, but the lady from the Hall of Heroes just left a couple minutes before you arrived and I have to say... my chances are looking pretty good if I do say so myself! But... (the Governor narrows his eyes on the reporter, and puts his hand on the dagger hanging from his belt) don't cha tell no one bout that secret now!

TNTR: Oh, exciting news, truly exciting news! (At this point a Pirate Warf storms out of a billowing red curtain just behind the Governor). He is just the cutest little petpet I have ever seen! You have to tell me more about him!

GGM: (The Governor allows the Warf into his lap, and begins petting him while whispering baby noises to the petpet. The Warf responds by licking the Krawk's nose and barking loudly in happiness. Suddenly the Governor becomes aware of the crew from The Neopian Times still in the room and changes his demeanor immediately.) This interview is over! Get out! Nothing to see here!

TNTR: But.. what? Wait! I haven't even gotten to the point where we talk about your favorite customization designer! Discriminating Neopians are just dying to know where you got that cloak! And what about that mysterious "Keep out," sign, eh? Or those unsavory characters down by the docks! You're up to something, I can just...

(At this point, the Governor quickly opens the trap door he had been hiding earlier, and the reporter tumbles away into darkness. Her voice echoes for a long time before finally disappearing. A loud splash is heard, and some sea water soaks the rug as the Governor pushes the door shut once again.)

GGM: Well then, that's the last time I let one of those land-loving, Neopian Central quacks back in my house. (He eyes the camera crew and assistants suspiciously. The Grarrl haphazardly begins packing up the equipment while the Faeries clutch their expensive makeup to their chests.) You fellas best be on your way now, don't cha think? Travel safe now and.. (he laughs) watch yer backs! Krawk Island isn't Illusen's Glade, now is it? (He pushes the crew out the front door, and a series of locks can be heard being bolted).