teh 1337est n00zpaper Circulation: 191,275,577 Issue: 599 | 14th day of Relaxing, Y15
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Breakfast! Eat Like a Champion Today


by mojoschweni

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The Altador Cup rages on here in the Colosseum as the first games of the day are about to begin. It's hardly 7 NST, but already dozens of players are getting ready here in the locker rooms, and the spectators' chatter above is growing in volume as they take their seats. "How are they all so energized when the sun hasn't even come up yet?" you're probably thinking. I can answer that.

I'm Mojo, a firm believer that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Come with me to find out how these diehard players start their day off right – with a good hearty breakfast!

1. Maraqua Victory Mini Muffins

Item Description: "Three bite-sized muffins iced with pretty Maraquan designs."

Always alert to the presence of reporters, Team Maraqua's captain Elon Hughlis wass the first to run up to me. "Breakfast, eh? Well a real champion like me has got to have a good one – the best, in fact! These Maraquan Victory Mini-Muffins are just the thing. The team and I like to have these before a big match to remind us that we can and WILL win. It's an extra bonus that they're mini-sized, too. Oten's got to maintain that girlish figure somehow..." He chuckled.

Not for the first time, Neopians, have we discovered these seemingly "muffins with frosting" on our breakfasting adventures. Slightly suspicious, eh? Putting the nutritional aspects aside, however, the presentation of these bite-sized treats is simply divine, and they're bursting with flavor too. I'd definitely suggest them for any Maraquan-themed gathering. Your guests will think they're dining at Kelp!

2. Thick Creamy Porridge

Item Description: "A favourite amongst the farmers in Meridell. This hearty breakfast will keep you going well into the afternoon."

I ran into Ilsa Ellits next, Team Meridell's defender. "I'm pretty simple-minded myself," Ellits said, shaking his head at Elon as he trotted off to the pitch. "This morning I had myself a nice bowl of porridge – never fails to remind me of home. It also shows how far I've come from that little Ixi of Meri Acres a few years back. I've tried not to get a big ego or anything since I've been on the team."

Meridellians like Ellits will certainly fall head over heels with this porridge – it really is a classic country breakfast. Despite being a plainer meal in and of itself, however, there are plenty of ways you can spice it up. Add assorted fresh fruit, honey, or even spices! It's like a blank canvas just waiting for you.

3. Fire Faerie Muffin

Item Description: "You might want to let this cool off before you try to eat it."

Kakoni Worrill of Faerieland told me about the way he gets an edge on his competitors with a good breakfast. "I've got to agree with Elon, muffins are where it's at. The Fire Faerie and I are on good terms back in Faerieland, ever since my first faerie quest when she boosted my strength. I've always struggled with that on the field, so even now she makes these muffins for me to help..." He winked. "They're not bad either."

To start off, what a beautiful presentation! The colors of this muffin really complement each other and make for a good looking AND tasting dish. The flavors pop in your mouth, and the little kick at the end will certainly get you up and at 'em every morning.

4. Frozen Blackberries and Cream

Item Description: "Theses berries may be frozen solid, but they make the perfect treat on a warm day."

I found Terror Mountain's defensive leader Prytariel next, fanning herself and covered with sweat. "It's... too hot here." She panted. "My breakfasts are always served ice cold to cool me off before a big game – like these Frozen Blackberries and Cream. The chef back at the team dining hall knows this is one of my favorites."

Any pet would enjoy these – what a refreshing treat to start your day with! Especially during this sweltering time of year. The little berries pack a big punch in flavor, and the cream balances it out perfectly. It's more of a sweet custard, actually, but with the tart blackberries it's a unique and delicious dish.

5. Rock Waffles

Item Description: "This rock waffle is quite crunchy!"

I find Moltara's goalkeeper, Harlis Neyhbol, digging in to a plate of... rocks? "I wouldn't suggest these for the faint of heart. You've got to have a real stomach to handle it. It's nothing compared to what waiting for us out there, though." He pointed to the stadium nervously, grinding the last few pebbles between his teeth. "They've got a nice flavor once you get past the whole, erm, rock thing, though."

This dish must definitely be for only serious Moltarans, because I've never met a plate of waffles more difficult to eat. I don't take any responsibility for the broken teeth you'll get after this, folks! The crunchy texture may appeal to some, but you'll need more than a knife and fork, let me warn you.

6. Sakhmetian Brew

Item Description: "Supposedly the drink of choice for Princess Amira."

And here comes Derbi Azar of Lost Desert! "After we had won AC V, the team and I had a celebratory brunch back in Sakhmet with Princess Amira and other high ranking officials. It was then when the princess introduced me to this!" she said, holding up a cup of Sakhmetian Brew. "It does cost a pretty penny to bring it here to Altador though, so only true royalty – and star players like myself of course - would ever be able to afford it."

As hoity-toity as Azar made this beverage sound, I don't think it's really only for the upper classes. You can get it for a relatively good price in the user shops! And it's worth it. The rich aroma and color of this brew is simply divine, and it's the perfect thing to get you going if you're struggling to wake up on those early mornings. Especially good for athletes as well – coffees like this one will help boost your metabolism! Though I won't envy the crash afterwards...

I hope these interviews with some of the Altador Cup's biggest stars will inspire you to share even more delicious breakfasts with your family and friends. This is Mojo signing off. Happy breakfasting, Neopia!

 
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