All You Need To Know About Flotato

Flotato Naming Conventions

The first question that needs to be addressed before this article can continue related to the pluralisation of Flotato. Is it Flotatoes? Flotatos? Flotaters? Or is Flotato already acceptable as a collective noun, much like Babaa, Breadfish or Snicklebeast?

For the purpose of the title of this article I've used "Flotato", but mostly that was because I liked the way it rhymed with "know", and the addition of an "-es" would have ruined everything. I do believe that, in keeping with its obvious similarity to the word potato we should be using the same pluralisation convention. I'll henceforth be referring to more than one Flotato as Flotatoes. But really, you can use whichever you like - it won't be offended, as it's a fruit.

What about a collective noun for Flotatoes, though? A bunch? A gaggle? A herd? I personally favour the idea of a gang of Flotatoes, but again, it's up to you really. Let your imagination run wild, up to a point, and then you know ... keep it in check.

Flotato Taste

I'm sure the next question on the tip of your tongue, which, might I add, is quite an appropriate location for this particular question, is what does a Flotato taste like?

The only concrete information we have in regard to the Flotato is "this bizarre fruit floats if you put it in a bowl of water," courtesy of its item description. Not particularly illuminating, given the clue in its name, but nevertheless, it is confirmed buoyant, which may actually reveal a bit more than meets the eye. Its ability to float necessitates a lower density than water, probably making it light and refreshing on the palate. Its supposed 1-pound weight seems to support this hypothesis, but given that until recently the Ridiculously Heavy Battle Hammer weighed the same, I'm left ever so slightly cautious at endorsing that as fact. In my own head, though, I imagine a Flotato tasting somewhere between a mango and a coconut, without the gross grainy texture which ruins the latter.

In terms of culinary pairings, Flotato has only ever been combined with turkey, specifically in the form of a Flotato-Stuffed Turkey. This lack of experimentation is actually quite exciting, as it means there are so many combos left to be discovered! For instance, I bet it would go well with chocolate, especially dark chocolate. Just imagine what a dark chocolate-coated Flotato would taste like - go on, I dare you! Ewww, wipe up that drool patch!

Flotato Origins

The third question is all about Flotato firsts: Where did they come from?

Flotatoes were released on the 5th day of Running, Year 5: the day after Gadgadsbogen. This was, until recently, a source of much bitterness within the Flotato population, but thankfully any point of rivalry between Flotatoes and the fruit released first has since been resolved – after all, which fruit can honestly claim to hold a candle to a Flotato nowadays? No fruit. No fruit at all.

Maybe you're wondering about its sudden explosion in popularity though? Well, other than being utterly pleasant in both taste and texture, Flotatoes have recently been celebrated as an integral part of "Hot Flotato" boards. An initiating user sends a Flotato to another user, and that user's responsibility is to then send it onwards, sharing the Flotato joy with as many people as possible. Failure to pass on the Flotato is widely believed to result in at least 300 years of bad luck, so do it quickly before the Flotato has time to suspect you've kept it for yourself!

Whether this Flotato hype is fleeting or eternal remains to be seen – but fingers crossed it sticks around!

Flotato Avatar?

With so many people keen to couple their Neoboard posts with a Flotato friend, and quite possibly a font to match, the rumour mill has been ablaze with the possibility of a Flotato themed avatar. Which leads me to our third question – is there a Flotato avatar?

Some users are claiming to have already received one, with a wide range of suggested methods, all revolving around the humble fruit. The truth is, there is no Flotato avatar... well, at least not officially. ;)

There is always a chance that the Flotatoes have put out one on their own, circumventing the traditional practice of releasing an avatar with the news. Who knows what Flotato are capable of really? Best to be on the safe side and keep going for that Flotato avatar just in case. Keep trying. If you stop, the Flotato will know.

No but really, no Flotato avatar... yet. :)

Flotato Bonus

Finally, there are a couple of other Flotato based concerns that I feel compelled to address, even if they're not formatted as questions.

Firstly, if you are borrowing someone's Flotato for any reason, it is important to remember to keep you inventory near the 50 item mark, and to have plenty of Pant Devil Attractors, just to be sure. Imagine having to explain to someone who graciously lent you their Flotato that it won't be coming back to them safely. :( Just don't risk it!

Secondly and sadly, the Flotato has not been met with universal praise or welcome. Many people, perhaps scared or confused by the sudden influx of Flotato themed chat, have lashed out at the defenceless fruit and have taken to rejecting or *gasp* even discarding them! Whatever is causing this behaviour I implore you to please, for all out sakes, stop! You're angering the Flotatoes and none of us want that, believe me...

If somebody does reject your Flotato though, leave them be. They may not realise what a selfless gesture you've just extended to them, or they may mistakenly believe they have enough Flotatoes already (like that is even possible, am I right?), but either way, it's better not to keep bothering them with the Flotato, as it's unlikely they're ever going to change their mind on the matter.

I only hope this article has gone some of the way the helping all of Neopia understand our friends, the Flotato. Like it or not, they're here to stay, so you might as well like it. They like you! :)