The 100% Serious, Completely Factual, Not Satirical Guide!

Finding Dung (0-400 Neopoints Needed!)

Dung may be too expensive for the average Neopet, but I assure you, there are simple ways of expanding your dung collection. A kind, generous, old Gnorbu, sits in Shenku waiting for a challenger. The other “prizes” range from food to clothing, but if you can somehow convince him to give up his greatest prize, then you will receive Rainbow Dung. The prized Rainbow Dung is a rarity of 101, and is a brilliant array of colors. This rarity puts in on par with the Dargarian Sword of Death, but really, who wants a dark point thing when you could have a fun, happy, rainbow colored piece of dung. You should truly feel lucky if you every find this dung, sadly, it is not found in any auctions or trade lots.

Of course if you don’t care about elusive decorations, then you can go for clothing, because for JUST 400 neopoints, you can attempt to find the elusive “Pile of Dung”. The farmer is obviously hiding the fact that dung can be found in his “Pick Your Own” fields. So, as the best dung collector, like no one ever was, you must search every nook and cranny of his fields. But be careful, the stingy farmer is trying to stop dung collectors from taking the only valuable things in his field, by limiting us collectors to only 20 fields a day. However, when the day grows long, us dung collectors will prevail in a battle of endurance, searching his fields every day until all the piles have been successfully recovered. For only the best of the best may possess a “Pile of Dung” and reap the reward of the very best clothing item. Yes, you read that correctly, your hard working in obtaining your dung will result in everyone knowing you are the ultimate fan. When you walk down the street make sure to pay attention to all the people staring at the dung you wear. They might even be impressed by your passion and want to collect dung too!

Restocking (Completely FREE)

The places where hard-core dung collector fans lurk, waiting for someone to accidentally drop their precious dung, are the Money Tree, the Second Hand Shop, and the Meridell Rubbish Dump. All of these places are extremely competitive spots so practicing in other shops is recommended before trying to tackle one of these high level shops.

The Money Tree- The shop that restocks the most often, it is normally full of fishing junk (How do neopians lose that many shoes!), but can occasionally restock a dung item. Sometimes, you will see a valuable item that IS NOT dung, but taking it will mean you have fallen into a trap. Sly dung collectors know that the Money Tree only lets Neopets take ten items a day, so they put decoy items to kick people out. Don’t fall into one of these traps!

The Second Hand Shop- Don’t be cruel, the Neopets who can’t afford these methods and can’t restock must come here to pick up their dung. Leave this shop for the weaker dung collectors.

The Meridell Rubbish Dump-The premium dung spot, if you are not an expert restocker don’t bother reading this. The Meridell Rubbish Dump has the very best dung, but restocks very infrequently. Combine that with the fact that tons of dung lovers are waiting there, that even I have a hard time getting dung from there. However, if you manage to grab some dung from there, rest assured that you are a master restocker, with the dung to prove it.

Life At Home

Now, you may be asking, what do I do with all this dung, but I have the perfect plan for all my soon to be minions dung collectors, by reading certain books, you can learn the historical significance of dung or how to apply dung physics to real world concepts. Some great books about dung are Compost Dung Right and How its Dung. Both these books will teach you important things about dung. Your knowledge you have gained from this book will make other neopians super jealous as they watch you converse with your other dung collector friends.

Sadly, on your quest to become the ultimate dung collector, it can become very lonely without any companions, so you can be accompanied by a dung petpet! By paining a petpet with a special dung paintbrush, you too can have a dung petpet. Ranging from Anglepusses to Faelies, dung petpets have a unique smell which will be enjoyed by everyone!

Your house may be more unique when compared to other Neopet’s homes, but being creative is always a good thing! Filling your home with Dung Carpet’s, a Dung Carpet, and a Dung Chair is sure to attract attention from all of your neighbors! When your neighbors ask where you got your sense of style, remember, more dung collectors will make finding YOUR dung more challenging. Watch them stare at your Dung Bed and wonder where they can get this furniture.

What to do when you see another Dung Collector

Run, just star running, when you have just begun you journey as a dung collector, every veteran will be able to destroy you. And when they have beaten you, they will take your dung. Sadly, this has always been the way of the dung, as only the strong will survive. But, if you have the money and the battle experience, you can take other people’s dung. With three weapons available to serious dung collectors, Battle Dung, Starry Battle Dung, and Rancid Battle Dung, you can have a simple fight. But watch out, as dirty cheaters may pull out a Smelly Dung Muffin, an unsanctioned weapon unapproved by DungBattlersTM. My personal choice of weapon is the Starry Battle Dung (For style points) combined with my lucky Battle Dung Charm. Remember power in this world isn’t decided on just pure muscle, cunning and wits can help you defeat the other person. Chewing Dung and Dung Catapults are items that CAN be used as weapons, but are very difficult to use. To the victor-the dung, and hope can run fast enough if you lose.

The End?

You are now on your way to become a real dung collector. It will be very challenging to even get your first piece of dung, but don’t worry, everyone started where you were! The many dung foods will help you on you dung collector journey. My personal favorite is the Dung Doughnutfruit, but the Dung Pizza is the most economical, being it has six parts to it. But anyways, good luck! Give me all your dung or I will hunt you down! Enjoy your quest to become the very best! The thing is, not everyone has what it takes to become a master dung collector. But honestly, I believe you can do it, I mean, you must be serious to have read an entire article about dung.

Signing out-A 100% Serious Dung Guide