On the Other Side of the Wall

      I met Sibbie on the other side of the wall, at the spot where the sun shines down and warms the old, red bricks.

      “What’s your name?” she asks, ears perked up and eyes bright with interest. She looks like the kind of ‘pet that I would purposefully avoid- overly-optimistic and always ‘looking on the bright side.’

      “Ty.” I answer with a kind of disdain in my voice. Then, after a long pause, I return the question, although it's more out of common courtesy than because of an actual desire to know. “And what’s yours?”

      “Sibbie.” she says. “You can call me Sib, if you want. That’s what my friends call me.”

      “I’m not your friend.” I tell her. She shrugs and scoots closer to me.

      “You are now.” She leans over my shoulder. “What’cha doing?”

      I look at her with a long-suffering patience in my eyes, telling her silently that she can leave whenever she wants. When she doesn’t budge, clear blue gaze meeting mine unwaveringly, I give in. “I’m reading. For a book report.”

      “Yeah?” Her ears perk up even more than they had been before. I hadn’t even realized that was possible. “So… You live around here, Ty? Maybe we go to the same Neoschool. That would be funny. I’ve never seen you before.”

      I pause, contemplating whether or not giving her the location of my home will make her think that she’s allowed to visit. In the end, I comply, abandoning my book in the grass and climbing up onto the sun-warmed, red brick wall. Boosting myself up the last few inches, I point across the stretches of garden, towards the old, yellow Neohome where I live. “That’s my house.”

      Sibbie, hauling herself up after me, looks delighted. She points to the other side of the wall, and my gaze follows her paw to the little blue house set far back from the street. You can just barely glimpse it between the thick copses of trees that crowd around it like a dark, lacey canopy.

      “That’s where I live.” she exclaims. “We’re so close and we didn’t even know it!”

      “What a revelation,” I say, before slithering off the wall and landing on the grass. I bend over to pick up my book, smoothing it open to the page I was on.

      “I like you, Ty.” Sibbie tells me, not at all put off by my short, clipped manner. In fact, she’s giggling. She jumps down beside me without waiting for an invitation, pulling herself over to see the words on the pages. “You’re funny. What’s your book about? And what grade are you in? And… Oh! Do we go to the same Neoschool?”

      “Sibbie!” The call is distant and close at the same time, coming from the direction of the little blue Neohome. The White Acara jumps to her feet, abandoning her deluge of questions as quickly as she said them.

      “That’s my owner, Carter, I have to go. I’ll look for you tomorrow at school!”

      She runs before I have a chance to say anything, leaving me alone beside the red brick wall, sitting in a pool of sunlight.

      “Ty!”

      A paw grasps my shoulder, the exuberant voice rising in pitch. I turn around, already knowing what I’ll see, and find myself face to face with Sibbie.

      “Hi!” she bubbles, eyes creasing with delight. “I knew I’d find you.”

      “Yeah.” I answer. “Look, uh, I have to go to class…”

      She checks her watch. “School doesn’t actually start for ten minutes. You’ve got time. Or are you trying to get away from me?” Words that would’ve sounded sharp from the mouth of any other ‘pet only sound like Sibbie is enjoying a good joke. Her icy blue eyes twinkle.

      “Um. No?” That’s the only thing I can think of to say.

      “Aw, come on!” she says. “Lighten up! We can hang out, it’ll be fun.”

      “Will it be, though?” I mutter.

      “What did you do yesterday after I left?” she asks, either not hearing me or choosing to ignore my words.

      “I read.”

      “Oh.” She pauses, looking at a loss for what to say. Then she brightens again. “Did you finish your book report?”

      “Yeah.”

      “Was it fun to write?”

      “Not really.”

      “What’s your first class?”

      “English.”

      “Do you want to walk home together?” Any other ‘pet would be put off by my curt answers. Sibbie sounds as excited as ever. “You know, to the wall. On my side. The spot where we talked yesterday.”

      “Not particularly.”

      “I’ll take that as a yes.” she says. She flashes a wide grin, white teeth on white fur. “You can go now. To your class, I mean.”

      “Thanks.” I ignore the paw that she holds out as an invitation for a high five and head down the hall.

      Unfortunately, she holds me to my word- or what she interpreted my word to be. After my last class is let out, she pounces on me as I follow the surge of other ‘pets down the concrete steps. “You said we could walk home together.”

      “I really didn’t.” I answer, trying to avoid her bright gaze. “But… I guess I don’t have anything better to do.”

      “Success!” she crows. She grabs my paw and drags me down the remainder of the steps, pushing her way through the throngs of students. I have no choice but to follow her, nearly running to keep up with the vigorous pace she sets.

      “What is with you?” I pant, when she slows down upon reaching the Plaza. I pull my paw from her grasp, and she meets my eyes with amusement sparkling in her smile. “Why do you want to hang out with me so badly?”

      “I don’t know.” She shrugs. “You look like you need a friend.”

      I stare at her, outraged and suddenly at a loss for words. This is the first time she has managed to stump me.

      Just because I like to be alone, my mind screams, that doesn’t mean I’m lonely! Just because I never hang out with anybody, that doesn’t mean I want friends! Just because I’m a Gray Lupe, that doesn’t mean I want to spend time with you!

      “Who says I want friends?” I demand, finding my voice. “Who says I want you to be my friend?”

      Fuming, I push past her and sprint away.

      The next day, when I bid my owner, Danita, farewell and head out the front door for school, I find the White Acara standing on the sidewalk, waiting for me.

      “What do you want?” I grumble. My dignity has been ruffled, and I’m unable to find the cool, distant words that I usually use around others, that I’ve been using around her.

      “Hi.” she says, eyes crinkling into a smile.

      Does nothing bother her?

      “Is there a problem? Is that why you’re standing outside of my house like a weirdo?” I look down my nose at her, huffing slightly.

      “Nope.” Her voice is still bright. Too bright, if you ask me. “But we live so close, I figured that we could walk to school together!”

      She doesn’t ask me if I’m okay with that. She doesn’t ask me anything at all. She just walks off, her pawsteps confident and sure, her coat rippling softly in the early morning spring breeze. She expects me to follow.

      For whatever reason, I do.

      Our walk is a silent one. It’s only when we part at the steps that I realize that, and I also realize that, in the two days that I’ve known her, she’s been nothing but chattery. But the silence wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward. Sibbie just seemed to sense that I didn’t want to talk. Not that I’d wanted to talk to her yesterday, or the day before.

      Now, she seems to realize that I’m watching her walk down the hall, and she turns, flashes a smile, and waves, before taking a sharp left and disappearing into a classroom. I stand there for several seconds, unsure whether to feel annoyed or not, before gritting my teeth and walking away.

      She meets me on the steps after school.

      “Let’s go.” she says, as though we’ve been friends for ages. As though we’re even friends at all. I look at her, blankly, and she smiles. “You know. Home. We can walk together.”

      “Oh. This again.” I give her an unimpressed glance. “Walking back and forth with me every single day isn’t going to make me your friend, you know.”

      “I know.” she says, simply, and smiles.

      “And I don’t need you to be my friend.” I continue.

      “I know.” she agrees, again, then says, before I can elaborate further, “Maybe I’m the one who needs you to be my friend.”

      “What?”

      She shrugs, the same smile dancing on her face. “Just what I said.”

      “What’s your deal?” I mutter, but she doesn’t answer this time. She just launches off on another topic, keeping the silence at bay.

      “Hey, Ty.” she bubbles, bending over me.

      “Hey.” I look up at her warily.

      Her eyes sparkle with delight. “That was almost friendly. You starting to like me?”

      “Of course not.” I huff, but she seems to sense the lie in my words.

      “Now, don’t go getting all defensive. I don’t see what you have to be defensive about, anyway.” she chides.

      I glare at her wordlessly, and she stifles her laughter.

      Finally, I lay my book down on my lap, leaning against the sun-warmed brick wall. She seems to think this is an invitation, and sits down beside me.

      “Why are you always on this side of the wall?” she asks. “Why don’t you ever stay on your side?” There’s no accusation in her voice. Just bright curiosity

      “Why do you care?” I ask. Then I sigh. “...Because I like being alone. My owner will bug me if she sees me by myself. This is a good place to come because it’s not far away from my house, but she can’t see me. I used to come here so I could be by myself. Of course, that was before I met you.”

      “But you keep coming back.” she persists. “If you really didn’t like me, then you could just find a different place to hide from your owner.”

      I stare at her, paws fumbling with the pages of my book. The golden sunlight, lancing down from the sky, seems to magnify the heat rising beneath my fur. “Um…”

      “Ha!” she says, triumphantly. “I figured you out. You can’t hide the truth from me!” She breaks off into laughter, and it rings across the grass, only to bounce back and echo. The silence is broken by her happiness.

      She finally quiets to catch her breath. “You know, Ty...”

      “What do I know?” I ask sarcastically, scrabbling for the last strings of my dignity.

      “You’re probably my best friend.”

      I fix my eyes on my book, lying open on my lap, and try to hide my embarrassment. “Isn’t it a bit early for that?”

      “Why?” She looks at me curiously.

      “You’ve only known me for a few months.”

      She shrugs. “Am I your best friend?”

      I look away, and the silence stretches, pressing down on me.

      “Maybe.” I finally mutter.

      It’s hard, I finally decide, not to like Sibbie.

      Neoschool lets out for the summer. On most days, we would walk there together in the morning, and back in the afternoon. Sometimes she was full of excitement and the words bubbled out of her like water bubbling from a spring. Other times she was quiet, and the comfortable silence hung between us.

      Now, with the heat of the summer months pressing down on us, she shows up at my house more and more often. After her initial surprise, Danita gladly welcomes her in, and the White Acara begins to become a regular visitor. Sometimes she drags me out of the house to shop in the Bazaar or explore the Plaza. Other times we ride in Eyrie cabs up to Terror Mountain with our owners and get slushies (Sibbie’s request), or to Altador to explore the Archives (my request). And sometimes we just sit in my room and keep each other company. Then Neoschool begins again, and we walk each other there and back again, every week day.

      I begin to wonder how I wasn’t lonely before. Then, one rainy day when Sibbie is sick and wasn’t at school, I realize that I was.

      I was lonely, I just suppressed my feelings. Ever since I was little, I have had few to no friends. Those who I did have slowly drifted away from me as we both grew older. I learned to pretend that I didn’t care that I had no friends. I taught myself to love books, and to love being alone.

      “Ty.”

      I look up. Danita is standing in the doorway, one hand on the doorframe.

      “Can I come in?”

      “Uh, sure. I guess.”

      She comes in, and I watch her warily, my eyes following her as she crosses my room to sit on my bed.

      “Am I in trouble or something?” I ask.

      She laughs lightly. “No, of course not. I just wanted to talk to you. It’s not often that I have my ‘pet all to myself, especially with Sibbie coming over so often now.”

      My eyes narrow.

      “I didn’t mean it like that.” she says, hurriedly amending her statement. “Sorry. I love that you have a friend like her. In fact, that’s what I wanted to talk about.”

      “...Okay. What’s up?”

      She taps her fingers together. “Nothing, really. It’s just… You know, I really did worry about you before you had Sibbie as a friend. You were always alone. You never seemed to mind… but, you know, I’m your owner. I worry about stuff. That’s why I always bugged you to hang out with other ‘pets.”

      I wait for her to continue, knowing she’s not finished.

      “I’m just glad that you have her, now.” she concludes, shrugging.

      “Is that all?” I ask.

      “Yeah, I guess so.”

      I contemplate this. Then I shrug. “I’m glad I have her, too.”

      Danita smiles. “You seem happier now than you did before you met her.”

      “Maybe I am.”

      She stands up. “Sorry to bother you. I just… wanted to talk.”

      “I don’t mind.”

      She reaches out to ruffle the fur on my head and leaves the room, closing the door behind herself. I turn away, leaning my elbow on the windowsill and watching the rain trace its way down the glass.

      “Happy birthday, Ty.” Sibbie sings, coming across the grass to where I’m leaning against the red brick wall. She is blindingly white against the landscape- white jacket on white fur on white snow. The only thing breaking the bright cleanness is her dark blue jeans, crisp and fresh.

      “Thanks.” I tell her. She stands beside me, placing her paws against the bricks. They’re cold now, without the pale winter sunlight that is tucked away behind the clouds.

      “We met here.” she says.

      “Yeah, we did.” I narrow my eyes at her. “Are you getting all nostalgic on me? It was only two years ago.”

      “No, I’m not.” She shoves me, laughing as I fall over into the snow. “I know you don’t like it when girls get emotional.”

      “Not just girls. Anybody.” I grumble, glaring up at the White Acara even though I’m not really angry.

      “Sure.” she says. She offers me her paw, but I ignore it, hauling myself up and dusting snow off of my clothes. “You doing anything for your birthday?”

      “Not really.”

      “That’s sad.” She sounds genuinely sorrowful. “Nothing at all?”

      “Danita’s making dinner for me.” I say. “She got a couple of presents to give me, too. But it’s not like I need that much.”

      “Most people don’t. Presents are fun, though, that’s why we all like them.” She brightens, poking her paw into her pocket and pulling out a small wrapped bundle. “Here’s mine for you.

      “You didn’t have to.” I protest, but she shoves it into my hands.

      “Sure I did. What kind of a friend would I be if I didn’t?”

      I shrug, cracking a smile, and begin carefully unwrapping it. After a layer of tissue paper has been pulled away and tucked into my pocket, I find a small, wing-shaped amulet cupped in my paw.

      “Wow.” I look at it for a moment, dumbfounded. It’s made of white glass, edged with gold, and it glitters in the weak light. Through a loop at one end, a smooth black cord is threaded. “Is this… A Brilliant Wing Amulet, or something? Aren’t these expensive?”

      “I had ‘points to spend.” she says. “Do you like it? I know it’s actually a battle item, but it’s pretty. Carter said it reminded him of me, and… I thought you might think the same. You know. Since I have white fur, and Danita always says I have a heart of gold.”

      She sounds shy and embarrassed.

      “Of course I like it.” I tell her, and my voice is genuinely warm. I slip it over my head so that it’s hanging around my neck. “It’s… beautiful.”

      “You can remember me by it.”

      I look at her sharply, aware of the slight… difference in her voice from just a few moments ago. “You sound like you’re saying goodbye. Is there something you’re not telling me?”

      “Oh, no, of course not.” she says. Something flashes in her eyes- guilt? - and my fur prickles. Then she smiles. “Hey, let’s head back to your house.” She jumps, nimbly launching herself up the red brick, and slides down to the other side of the wall.

      I follow her, but my peaceful mood has been broken. Whatever she says, however much she protests, I know she’s keeping something from me.

      “Look, Ty.”

      I look, peeling my gaze off my book. Sibbie sounds serious right now, and she never sounds serious. My mind flashes to the time in the snow, more than a year ago, and my throat tightens nervously. “What?”

      “I don’t think this is going to work out anymore. You know. Being friends.” She won’t meet my eyes, and I stare blankly at her.

      “...Why?”

      “Don’t act like you don’t know.” she says.

      “I don’t know.” I tell her, and, now that I’m fully comprehending her words, the cold hurt is clear in my voice. “I really don’t. I don’t know why you’re suddenly dumping me after we’ve been friends for three years. Best friends. You said it yourself.”

      She flinches.

      “I just… Things are different now.”

      I wait in silence, but that’s all she says. “What? That’s it? That’s the only explanation you’re going to give me?”

      “I feel like… you’re holding me back.” she says, but there is no anger in her words. “The other ‘pets at school don’t really want to hang out with me when I’m always around you. They know you don’t like people. But I do, and I want… I need more friends. Better friends.”

      “Oh, you’re saying I’m not good enough for you.” My voice is dripping sarcasm. “I see.”

      “That’s not what I meant.” she protests. Then she looks at me, and there are tears in her eyes. “It’s just… It’s time for me to move on.”

      She stands up. I glue my eyes to the pages of my book, and don’t say a word.

      “See you around, Ty.” Sibbie tells me. She waits for me to reply, but I mastered the art of acting as though people don’t exist long before I met her, and I don’t bother to answer.

      Part of me screams, Tell her she can’t leave! Tell her you’ll change! Don’t let her walk away, Ty, she’s your best friend.

      The rest of me knows that nothing will change her mind, and I refuse, cruelly, to give her the pleasure of showing any sorrow whatsoever. After all, if she thinks she’s better off without me, then she doesn’t have to stay. I won’t make her.

      Sibbie’s voice sounds sad. “Um… Nevermind. Bye, then.”

      Then she turns and walks away, leaving me alone beside the red brick wall, sitting in a pool of sunlight.

      I met Sibbie on the other side of the wall, and I lost her there, too.

      The End.