Kite Flying 101

Let's start with a breakdown of the many kites Neopia has to offer. If you’re unsure what a kite is, I’d say it's time you venture outside for a while to learn what our vast world has to offer. However, we both know the neopets addiction is real, so I’ll just hit you with the definition of a kite and we can go from there. Kite (n) a toy consisting of a light frame with thin material stretched over it, flown in the wind at the end of a long string.

Okay, now that we have the definition of a kite under our belt, how about a picture?

Congratulations! You should now be able to identify a kite. Now let's talk best and worst kites in Neopia. If you’re trying to earn some cool points, I’d consider investing in the elusive Lost Desert Kite or the fierce Crimson Cyodrake Kite. Seriously, it doesn’t get cooler than this. The question becomes, how practical are these kites? The Lost Desert Kite isn’t going to win you any kite flying competitions, let me tell you that. Its design, while still flyable, doesn’t perform well. This kite has a tendency to stay in the air for a limited amount of time. The science behind it is far too advanced for Kite Flying 101, but just know that while it looks cool, it doesn’t perform well. On the other hand, the Crimson Cyodrake Kite is not only fierce, but it’s a beast in the sky. This kite is FAST! Once it catches the breeze, you’ll be soaring at the speed of light. From a glimpse, it will look like it’s a real Cyodrake up there the in the sky. The only thing to give it away is the string attached. It’s black and doesn’t blend in, this means you can’t convince people that it’s a legitimate Cyodrake.

If you’re looking to get involved in competitive kite flying, you’re probably not going to want to invest in the two kites mentioned above. They’re cool, but they can't compete with the likes of the Judge Hog Kite or the Pink Korbat Kite. There is no smoother flying kite than the Judge Hog Kite. It cuts through the air like I cut through butter for my morning toast. Judge Hog is a real fighter. This kite has been known to slice through strings of other kites. While in a leisurely setting this might get you yelled at, in a competitive environment, you’ll have a crowd “oohing.” The one downfall of this kite is that it occasionally has a mind of its own. I swear the kite thinks it can fly better than its user. If you’re trying to turn left, every once in awhile it may go right. It’s really infuriating and has lost me some epic kite battles before. It’s equal competitor, the Pink Korbat Kite taught me an important life lesson: looks are deceiving. Boy oh boy is this one tough kite. Its strings are tougher than steel and the kite itself can take a beating. I took it through Tyrannia and had some of the locals attempt to destroy it. The only thing that affected it was when someone mistook it for an Omelette. It got a little wet and I had to wait for the wings to dry.

If you’re just interested in collecting kites to display, I’d suggest that you just show click backspace and stop reading this article. Kites are meant to be up in the sky, not tucked away in some gallery! If you really must know, my personal favorites are the Green Grundo Kite, the Isca Kite, the Faerieland Kite and my trusty, yet chewed on Pink Korbat Kite. These are a must have for every collector, but they you should take them out for daily flights in an open field.

Now I know you are all thinking that the islands must be the best places to fly these kites. Well you are WRONG! This is why I am the professor and you are the student. This is a stereotype, my friends. Kites do not need to be in the ocean breeze. The absolute best place to fly a kite is clearly Maraqua, with Kreludor as a close second.

Alright, I’m kidding. Kites cannot be flown underwater or out in space. The physics just don’t work there.

The absolute best place to fly a kite is when you’re with friends!

No, that’s not the answer you’re looking for either? Okay fine. My personal favorite place to fly a kite is near Kiko Lake and in Brightvale. Kiko Lake seems to have perfect weather during the summers. A light breeze, just enough to keep you flying, but not enough to ruin the experience. This is definitely a place I would recommend for beginners and leisurely kite flyers. You rarely get the bad kite flying weather here. Do watch out for the Kiko’s though! You know their bandages are there because of kite flying incidents, right? If you are looking for more extreme kite flying weather, I’d try Brightvale. Rumor has it they’re creating their own wind to keep the stench of Meridell from their city. This means crazy kite flying weather, perfect for chaotic kite flying battles.

I hope you’ve been writing all of this down because the final exam will cover all this information. Oh, wait, no. How did I end up in the Neopian Times? This was supposed to be a lecture not an article for the public’s amusement.