 Trick or Treat: A Halloween Candy Review
by larkspurlane
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 Duckie and Glymmer say BOO!! Hello hello friends! Duckie and Glymmer here to give you a run through of the best Halloween treats in Neopia! This is the time of year when you can get your sugar fix guilt-free, so enjoy the heck out of it. Let’s do this thing! (Duckie rarely feels guilty about guzzling down sweets. Glymmer, on the other hand, wisely watches his intake. You don't get a figure like this fabulous boy by eating candy corn!) We do insert a disclaimer that our recommendations for spooky sweets ARE definitely biased towards the best Neopet species, but we’ve tried our best to be fair… more or less. :)  Halloween Candy Cane Because why not take a Christmas classic and make it fit the best season of the year? Boring peppermint can move over, this is chocolate and caramel. I know, right?! When you’re a small baby Lenny, these treats even work as fun walking sticks, but we recommend you don’t eat those ones, because “asphalt” is not a recommended seasoning. Be careful, because too many of these WILL give you cavities. (Do beaks get cavities, you ask? Unfortunately, yes. No root canal for either of us yet. Yet…)
 Angry Marshmallows These marshmallows are a Mood to be honest. Ingredients list: sugar, gelatin, and WRATH. Best enjoyed when you’re feeling ticked off about something, or after a super successful day at the Battledome. You better chew fast or they WILL bite back. These are best paired with:
 Crabby Apple A Crabby Apple! To be consumed when you are feeling hangry. This little apple is so mad at the world. You stink, we stink, everything stinks. It is also cheap, low calorie, and low sugar. And they do say one apple a day keeps the doctor away, don't they? They don't specify that the apple needs to be happy. Honestly, if you’re gonna pig out this Halloween, these angry cuties are your best bet to not end up with a crazy sugar high. Unless that’s what you’re going for, in which case you should try these bad boys:
 Jelly Finger Is there a larger jelly being whose finger this is? Do jelly thumbs, belly buttons, toes, exist? Is the jelly being sentient? Should we be concerned? We don’t know. We don’t care. These are delicious. Pure 100% sugar, straight into your system. When Glymmer gets a couple of these down, we have to peel him off the ceiling. Woohoohoo! These DO gum your beak together so make sure you have a friend nearby to help you pry it open. Or not, if they talk too much.
 Cannibalistic Pumpkin Pumpkins are yummy, but frankly we are just including this here because we find it a little disturbing. Halloween IS supposed to be scary, right? If you lean in close you can hear the little pumpkin say “help me! help me!”. Vegan-friendly, however.
 Chocolate Korbat Ice Lolly One of Duckie’s personal favourites because 1) it’s chocolate, 2) it’s cute, like her! Look at its adorable big ears and little eyes! This is an ice-cream based treat so not for those avoiding dairy, also not for those trying to reduce their sugar OR korbat consumption. Sorry. You can eat the stick, though.
 Lenny Meringue Pie Have you ever seen a crust so crusty? A filling so rich? A shape so lennyful? If anyone tries to convince you that some other pie is better than this one, do NOT believe them. They have no idea what they’re talking about. Is this Halloween candy, you ask? ALL sweets are Halloween sweets when eaten on Halloween. Next!!
 Pickled Eyeballs Okay but whose eyeballs are these? There are WAY too many unknown body parts floating around Spooky Food. These look gross but taste like squishy pickles and y’all need your electrolytes so eat them. They are also dirt cheap AND you can use the juice to make a bomb tuna salad. Note: Do not stare at them, they will stare back.
 Petrified Apple A fine prize from apple bobbing. Serve to your enemies or use as a projectile against them. Bonk! One well-aimed hit and they’ll drop their treat bag pronto, creating a perfect window of opportunity for you to “find” it on the ground. Alternatively, for extra trickery, paint red first before gifting, but the extra weight tends to give the game away.
 Candy corn fizzy drink Candy corn fizzy drink? That’s a thing? YES it’s a thing. You can get your sugar rush in minutes with this. Or shake vigorously, then give it to an unsuspecting friend. Our recommendation is to pair it with:
 Candy Corn Classic The Candy Corn Classic! It’s not Halloween without these gumming up your mouth. Tastes like Halloween! BONUS: if you have a beak you can stick a bunch of these on it and look like you have teeth! It’s hilarious. Teeth are SO WEIRD.
 Wormy Pasta Okay, we know this looks gross but listen up: we are birds. Birds eat worms. Worms are high protein and Duckie is a serious lifter and needs her gainz. Do not judge a book by its cover… try it. If you don’t like it, you can just give it to us. Win-win. PRO TIP: feeding this to a Pteri will make it bloated and cure it of any disease! *** That wraps up our review of 2019’s Halloween treat offerings. We hope we were able to whet your appetite and broaden your culinary horizons. Whether you’re looking for a quick sugar fix or you want to bro out with some serious proteinz, we’ve got you covered. Keep an eye out for future coverage of other sweet treats, we are thinking of putting together a Christmas edition for your education and edification. Make sure you send in your suggestions of your favourites! This is Glymmer and Duckie, signing off!  This is us in our Halloween costumes. Glymmer even wore contacts, WOW that is real dedication.
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