Neopia's Top Ten Richest

ALL AROUND NEOPIA - Do you want to know who the most wealthy, most likely healthy, and possibly stealthy Neopians in Neopia are? Well you came to the right place. Here at ‘Neopia’s Top 10 Richest’, we supply you with all the information about the rich Neopians in Neopia. We’ll get you in on the lives of Neopia’s most successful, rich and famous Neopians. Let’s begin with ‘Rich Neopian Number 10’.

10. The Tiki Tack Man – That’s right, you heard me, the ‘Tiki Tack Man’ is ‘Rich Neopian Number 10’. Barely making the top ten, the Tiki Tack Man spends all his time buying items for his Tombola Stall (even though I know he could afford a Tombola Neohome). Sure he looks like an average Neopian, but his Neopoints are probably stashed away in the back of his shop. Who would give random somewhat good prizes to random Neopians every single day? And even if they did lose at his luck-game, there is still a chance to claim one of his booby prizes, usually from his shop. Speaking of his shop, did you see how much he could hold in there? It would take at least a good round of Neopoints to buy the space that he has. ‘How does he get all those Neopoints?’ you might ask. He simply scams people with his outrageous prices. A Bottle of Black Sand for 726 NP? Can we say ‘overpriced’! Let alone these devastating prices, he continues to scam people by pretending that his ‘Tombola Stall’ does not have enough money. Hah, I laugh at that. He’s probably swimming in Neopoints if not swimming in the ocean. This is just a way for him to earn a bundle of Neopoints. Tiki Tack Man, if you’re reading this, I have on thing to say to you, ‘We’re on to you!’

Note: Please do not pester the Tiki Tack Man for any amounts of Neopoints. The Tiki Tack Man has threatened to persecute me because of this.

9. The Soup Faerie – Sure she doesn’t look rich, but how else does she afford all the ingredients for the thousands of unfortunate, poor Neopets that visit her every single day (well at least until they get above 3,000 NP). It would take someone with a big heart, a lot of money, and a lot of time to do what she does. Sure they say that the Soup Kitchen is kept running by donations from the Money Tree, but we never see the ‘Soup Faerie’ quickly running to the Money Tree just to retrieve a few items, run back (or fly), sell the items to scrape up a few Neopoints just for poor Neopets, do we? However, there has been a rumour that every now and then the Soup Faerie visits the food shops in ‘The Neopian Bazaar’ in which she swipes everything clean by buying everything in stock. I would think it would take some large amount of Neopoints to do something like that.

We figured you out, Soup Faerie…

8. Princess Fernypoo – Did anyone ever guess this? We wanted to put her higher on the list of rich Neopians, but she demanded to be eight because her favourite number is eight. I told her that we had to keep the order, but her eyes turned a gruesome red, the same red eyes that happen when she loses at something in Cheat!. Hoping that her eyes will turn back to normal, we put her on position number eight. Continuing on her father’s fortune, Princess Fernypoo is a good player at Cheat!, she spends hour after hour, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year… oh um… sorry. Basically she plays a lot of Cheat!, and playing it for so long could add up to a lot of Neopoints. I must end this little profile of her because she’s charging at me right now with those gruesome red eyes! How horrid.

I just returned from the Healing Springs, and ready to report the next rich Neopian.

7. Snowager – Yes, the Snowager. You’ll probably disagree with this, thinking that the Snowager doesn’t carry any Neopoints. Well you’re wrong! There have been sightings of the Snowager actually strolling inside the Usuki doll and buying everything in sight, and then continuing to browse other shops in Neopia, buying stuff to cuddle with. He’s even been seen doing quests for Taelia, and we all know how expensive her items requested are. The Snowager, however, denies everything I’m saying during the interview I had with him, but I saw him sneak a few HUNDRED THOUSAND (sorry) Neopoints behind his back as I interviewed him. Who knows what amounts of Neopoints he has hidden beneath those items (and Usuki dolls). It’s rumoured that he has over five million. That’s all I have to say for lucky number 7.

Oh yeah, I also saw him play with a Usuki doll the other day. Don’t tell him I said that.

6. The Techo Master – Even richer than the Snowager, the Techo Master is a wise old man, so wise he is a master con artist! Surprised? He asks for specific codestones, just to make you mad, and then sells them for a bundle of Neopoints. Just think of the numbers of gullible owners that spend their money on codestones to give to him. He also gets kicks out of this by beating up the weaker Neopets (look at the yellow Kacheek in his training video). The results? Fascinating. Through his *training*, your Neopets miraculously grows whatever you wanted to grow. Rumour has it that he hired professional carvers to carve the Techo face shown on Techo mountain. The world now knows the Techo Master’s little scams. I really hope the Techo Master didn’t read this.

30 minutes later…

Sorry, I had to use the Healing Springs again because the Techo Master, unfortunately, takes time from his codestone scam to read the Neopian Times. The next will be a combine of two people, seeing on how they are brothers.

5. King Skarl & King Hagan – The two kings, famous for their medieval-themed lands, fits in for ‘Rich Neopian (Neopians in this case) Number 5’. I’m sure that no one would disagree with this, seeing how they own castles and riches beyond belief. However, the reason why they aren’t further through the list is because I plain don’t like Skeiths. I’m sorry to say this, but they don’t seem to be the rich kind to me, and I also want to say that I’m a very hurtful person (which could also mean that I get hurt a lot). Their valleys are beautiful and all but, can you please choose another neopet to match it? Like Unis, yeah their pretty. This concludes ‘Rich Neopian(s) Number 5’.

Oh right, I forgot that King Skarl had a short-temper and King Hagan loves to read. Why isn’t it thirty minutes yet!?

4. Chuffer Bob the Meerca - I know a lot of people would probably disagree with this but just look at him! It may not specifically be him, it could be his owner or family, but you can tell he has been chomping on a lot of food. To become that huge you would need a rather large amount of Neopoints. Not to be offensive, (as in, I beg you to not report me Chuffer Bob) but it looks like he has millions of Neopoints worth of food in there. He is really bad at Cheat!, yet he plays it so much! Come on people, hands up for the people who beat Chuffer Bob (even at least once). During the interview, Chuffer Bob admitted that he plays Cheat! 50 times a day, and Cheat! costs 50 NP per round. This means he spends 2,500 NP (correct me if I’m wrong) on Cheat! every single day, and then buys extremely, expensive food to make him bloated. Sorry Chuffer Bob, but you agreed to this when you signed the contract.

I envy that spoiled neopet, in a matter of fact, I envy every single person on this list. Why can’t my owner be super rich? For the people who didn’t get it yet, I will not put Adam (a.k.a. Borovan) on ‘Neopia’s Top Ten Richest’ simply because I can never get the chance to interview him. Sorry.

3. Darigan – Ah yes, Darigan. He made ‘Rich Neopian Number 3’, fitting in all ‘Top Ten’, ‘Top Five’, and ‘Top Three’. He’s been declared highly rich ever since he came to Neopia with his own floating citadel of darkness and professional army. Any good Cellblock players there? I’m sure there are. Master Vex doesn’t pay for the costs if he loses, and the people in jail are already poor, so Darigan covers the costs. There’s also so many different makeovers for Darigan Citadel. But he doesn’t just redo a few things, he buys another one! I have taken the moment to ask Darigan how exactly did he get super rich. His answer was, “Rich? I would have dominated the world if I was rich.” Note: This reporter lost track of what happened with the whole King Skarl and Darigan commotion. Neither did I bother to take the time to ask him about it. So um… too bad for the readers out there.

After I told him that I barely knew anything about his past in Neopia, he got angry with me and started to attack me. I had to cut the interview short. Sorry. Anyways, I’m hungry. You read the next ‘Rich Neopian’ while I fetch myself a ‘Candy Chia Apple’.

2. Dr. Frank Sloth – I’m sure some people would have guessed that our own evil Dr. Sloth would be on the list of the richest. He owns a whole space station! Did you see how tech it was? Definitely advanced. If you’ve seen the latest, ‘X-Blaster 3000’, then it’d probably be at Dr. Sloth’s station. Currently he is selling it for 2 million Neopoints. About number Neopian eight and down can afford it. Note: No user will be shown on this list, basically because all the Neopians here have no mails in which they won’t be pestered with. The next item I’d like to bring up about Sloth is that if you’ll refer back to the Sloth day caption, you can see a golden statue of Dr. Sloth. You think a normal Neopian can afford that? I certainly can’t, my owner is too poor, doesn’t play many games.

Before I present rich Neopian number 1, I would like for you to take a minute and guess on whom he/she is. I will do a quick review of the other nine, and if your person isn’t there, then it should be rich Neopian number 1.

10. The Tiki Tack Man – Ridiculous prices.

9. The Soup Faerie – She loses ten thousands every day.

8. Princess Fernypoo – Well she IS a princess.

7. Snowager – He’s abundant in Usuki dolls.

6. The Techo Master – SCAMMER! SCAMMER!

5. King Skarl & King Hagan – Two kings, obviously there filthy rich.

4. Chuffer Bob the Meerca – His stomach is worth millions.

3. Darigan – Is that his third or fourth citadel?

2. Dr. Frank Sloth – He might as well paint his whole station gold.

And now, for rich Neopian number 1, drum roll please?

>Stays silent<

Well what do you expect? It’s not like I’m on this list.

1. FYORA THE FAERIE QUEEN – Sorry, caps is my way of adding expression. The Faerie Queen is thee most richest Neopian in the whole of Neopia! During a small interview, she stated that she sells her item for less of their value. She also said that she bought a few items, and sold them for a half of their price. If you add all her prices up, multiply them by two, you’ll get the amount of NP that Fyora has. If you however claim that you have more or equal to Fyora’s NP amount, I will haunt you…. The only thing that shocks me is that with all her money, she still doesn’t have as much make-up as Jhudora. Now about the hidden tower, I heard that it took more than 300 Invisible Paint Brushes (yes 300, it has to be a lot to reach up so far in the sky doesn’t it?) to paint it fully invisible. Too bad it didn’t work as well, a lot of Neopia knows where it is ‘hidden’. As a treat, I’ll ATTEMPT to total up Fyora’s total NP amount. Okay, you put this there, carry the 5, put this here, carry the 1, oh no I messed up, should have paid more attention in Neoschool, that or ‘Maths Nightmare’. And the results are in. Fyora’s amount in somewhere well over 282,320,200, doubt anyone is even near there.

Ahh, Jhudora is after me after what I said about her make-up. Okay she won’t find me here. Anyways, thank you for bearing with this article. No wait that wasn’t it. Oh yeah, thank you for reading this article, if you have any comments, questions or COMPLAINTS, be sure to pester my owner about it. If there was someone you thought that should be on this list, please tell me. I’m very curious about other people’s suggestions.

That’s it for ‘Neopia’ Top Ten Richest’, until next time.