The Tragic Life of a Badly Named Unconverted Mutant Buzz

     And that’s where I come in. He created me to be painted. He wanted the Buzzin’ avatar, and for that, he needed a Buzz. Me. He thought carefully in naming me, typing letter after letter. “That name is already taken,” he was told, again and again. His workaround was to throw in an underscore. Two underscores. A few numbers. There, finally, he was able to create me, and so I was.

      He eagerly rushed me to the Rainbow Fountain and deliberated for what felt like hours over the different colour options. Christmas? No, the holidays have already passed. Disco? No way, it’s way too flashy. Plushie? Too cute! Finally, he decided: Mutant. Mutant was the colour for me, the only colour that truly conveyed my personality. The colour worthy of gaining him an avatar and a really cool pet.

     Over the following months he took care of me. He kept me and fed me and played with me, and when the Day of Conversion came, he had a choice to make. Did he want to be able to dress me up? To give me items to hold? He didn’t, and I was glad of it. I much prefer this Unconverted form. I don’t want to look like all of the others. I am a Mutant, and proud of it! And so I stayed, and life went on. Until one day, my owner logged off, and he didn’t come back.

     For years I waited. Hungry, depressed, lonely. I wondered if he would ever return, but I couldn’t lose hope. I had no other choice. If he didn’t return I might eventually get purged and that wasn’t a fate I could bear to imagine. Thankfully, I didn’t have to. He came back! He was older now, though, and he didn’t seem super happy to see me. I heard him mutter something about my name. Something about my “value” but I didn’t know what that meant. I’d soon find out.

     He was spending a lot of time on the Pound Chat. Not the Pound! I begged him not to put me in the pound, but he didn’t hear me. It didn’t matter, that was not to be my fate. It turned out, he was talking to other Neopians about trading me. I didn’t even know that was something you could do! He negotiated for a long while with the other person. She was telling him that her greatest dream was to have an Unconverted pet and that she would treasure me forever. He agreed to the trade.

     They don’t like to tell you this, but transferring to another Neopian hurts. It’s not really a physical pain, more of an emotional one. Though I’ve been transferred countless times, none hurt so bad as the first. My owner, who created me and painted me special, set me aside for another Neopet. I would have cried, if Mutant Buzzes were capable of such a thing.

     My new owner had lied. She didn’t treasure me. She called me “fodder” and it wasn’t long before I was “up for trade” again. In another few weeks, I was transferred again.

     I stayed hopeful that maybe one day I would find a forever home, someone who would love me as much as I once was. Some owners took better care of me than others. Sometimes I got to stay in the NeoLodge (usually Cockroach Towers but it’s better than nothing, and besides, I like cockroaches). Other times I would go hungry for months. A couple of owners even gave me cool backgrounds. One wrote out a whole character for me! She was really special. I thought for sure I’d found forever happiness with her. But after a few months, it was the same story. She said she couldn’t get attached to me and back to the Pound Chat we went.

     I’ve shuffled hands so many times. Sometimes I only stay with someone for a day or two before I get the boot again. No one ever really seems happy to have me around. “Tier 1” they call me. “Very badly named.” I have no value in their system. I am merely a stepping stone to the next trade.

     I often wish the Conversion never happened. My life was better back then, when I only knew my original owner. Now I’ve known hundreds of owners with who knows how many more to come. Why don’t they love me? Do they think I’m ugly? I may not be the cutest Neopet around but I’ve got character! Maybe someone could train me and I could fight in the Battledome, maybe then they would like me.

     Mostly though, I wish that one of my owners would convert me. Just convert me and end the endless trading. They say I’m “low value” but if I were converted, my value to others wouldn’t matter. I could instead focus on finding a kind Neopian who could look past my status as an Unconverted pet and love me for who I am. Maybe they could paint me a different colour. I love being a Mutant but it would be fun to try out some of the different options. Pirate! Or Stealthy! Even Elderly. I envy all of my Neopet brothers and sisters who get to wear all kinds of fun outfits with quirky accessories. Oh, what joy it would bring me to join them!

     But these are all nothing more than dreams. Dreams of a badly named Unconverted Mutant Buzz.