Jhudora and Illusen's Surreal Adventure

     “Ah, a Battle Slices Stamp. And you’re even on time for once. It looks like I won’t have to punish you this time, Welldap,” cackled the Dark Faerie sitting on the menacing throne in front of him. Welldap breathed a sigh of relief. After what happened the last time he’d failed one of Jhudora’s quests, he never wanted to experience that terror ever again.

     Jhudora waved her hand haughtily, summoning an ominous-looking purple wand giving off an eerie green glow. “I’m in a good mood today,” she smiled wickedly. “Now my ultimate spell will finally be complete, and that infuriating goody-two-shoes Illusen will get her well-deserved comeuppance. Take this and get out of my sight before I change my mind.”

     As Welldap picked up the Wand of the Dark Faerie that Jhudora bestowed upon him, she could see the sparks of greed flashing in the innocent-looking Kacheek’s eyes. No matter how sweet and meek Welldap seemed, it takes a special kind of Neopian to run errands for the most wicked Faerie in all of Neopia.

     Jhudora turned back to her cauldron, filled to the brim with a noxious-looking purple bubbling liquid. “I’ll make Illusen PAY for what she did to me,” she said to herself in quiet rage as she took the stamp that Welldap had retrieved for her and dropped it into the cauldron. The liquid turned green-brown and began glowing with a brilliant light.

     “Yes!” Jhudora shouted in triumph. “In just a few more minutes, revenge shall be mine!”

     “We’ll see about that,” said a sassy voice from behind Jhudora. Jhudora knit her eyebrows together in anger. It was a voice that Jhudora was all-too familiar with. She turned around, facing the Earth Faerie who’d suddenly appeared.

     “Illusen!” Jhudora was seething with rage. “What are you doing here? How dare you show up in my bluff!”

     “Well, it’s not like I haven’t been here before,” Illusen replied mildly. “I noticed Welldap scampering around frantically at the Post Office, and I knew you sent him. You’re up to something, and I have to stop you in the name of Fyora.”

     “In the name of Fyora? How typical of you. You’re just the queen’s lapdog,” Jhudora sneered. “Don’t think I won’t fight back just because it’s you!” She released a blazing stream of purple fire at Illusen. Illusen nimbly flew into the air to dodge Jhudora’s attack.

     “I don’t want to hurt you, but I’m still going to stop you,” replied Illusen. She fired a ball of brilliant green light at Jhudora’s cauldron.

     “NOOOO!” screamed Jhudora. She dove to protect her precious cauldron, but she was too far away. The cauldron exploded with a blinding light. Jhudora and Illusen both had to close their eyes to shield themselves from its brightness.

     ---

     When Jhudora and Illusen opened their eyes again, they discovered a rather surreal sight. They appeared to have been transported to Neopia Central, but something was off. The buildings looked pretty much the same – there was the same burger-shaped Neopian Fresh Foods and gavel-shaped Auction House that everyone was familiar with – but some things were subtly different. The Rainbow Pool was missing its signature rainbow; it was just an ordinary small pond. The tree that should’ve been the magical sentient Money Tree was just… a tree.

     But most peculiar of all was the fact that all of the Neopets that were usually bustling about in Neopia Central were missing. This version of Neopia Central wasn’t empty, though. It was filled with beings that looked like Faeries without wings. Illusen struggled to recall the name of their species. The Tombola Man had once told her about his people.

     “Humans…” murmured Illusen. “That’s what these people are called.”

     “I don’t care what they’re called,” retorted Jhudora, irritated. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done, Illusen? You interfered with the spatial magic that I was casting, and now we’re stuck in an alternate dimension!

     “Don’t be so dramatic,” Illusen rolled her eyes. “You can cast another spell to get us back home, can’t you?”

     “Of course I can. I’m the most powerful faerie in Neopia. I’ll get us back home, you useless nymph,” Jhudora growled. “And I’m not doing this because you told me to! I’m doing it because I don’t want to be stuck here with you.”

     The Dark Faerie began muttering an ancient incantation under her breath. Her hands began to glow with a mystical green light as she raised them over her head. “Mystical spirits of time and space,” Jhudora chanted. “Free us from this wretched place! Don’t leave me alone with this traitor.”

     The green light suddenly faded. A faint breeze blew, but otherwise, nothing happened. “Your spell didn’t work,” remarked Illusen. “Maybe it’s because that last line didn’t rhyme.”

     “You fool! A Dark Faerie incantation doesn’t have to rhyme. It just sounds cooler when it does,” barked Jhudora. “There’s only one reason why my spell would fail. We must’ve been transported into a dimension without magic for me to draw my power from.”

     “Well, it’s a good thing that I know an old Earth Faerie trick for creating magical power from non-magical ingredients,” Illusen smirked. “What would you ever do without me?”

     Jhudora ignored that last remark. “What do you need?” She asked impatiently.

     “It’s all things that we can get from Neopian Fresh Foods. We just need a Purple Negg, an Onion and Mustard Pie, and a Mighty Steakwich. The odour from the Onion and Mustard Pie reacts with the latent power within a Purple Negg to activate its magic.”

     “Then what exactly is the Mighty Steakwich for, you foolish Earth Faerie?”

     Illusen’s stomach grumbled. “I haven’t eaten lunch yet.”

     Jhudora scowled and stormed off toward Neopian Fresh Foods. Amused, Illusen followed her into the shop.

     This dimension’s Neopian Fresh Foods looked pretty similar to the Neopian Fresh Foods of Jhudora and Illusen’s homeworld. The wooden shelves were stocked full of delicious dishes like Chocolate Ice Cream and Uh Oh, Spaghetti Eyes. However, Illusen did notice that what looked like an Aisha Cheeseburger was actually a burger shaped like a human face upon closer inspection.

     “That’s our famous Human Cheeseburger! It’s only 599 Neopoints!” said the shopkeeper cheerily while flipping a pancake into the air. He looked similar to the Chia shopkeeper that Illusen was familiar with. He was a short, portly human wearing a white chef’s hat and an apron that read “I -no tags here-3 FOOD.”

     “Actually, could I get a Purple Negg, an Onion and Mustard Pie, and a Mighty Steakwich, please?” asked Illusen.

     “Sure!” smiled the shopkeeper. “That’ll be 900 Neopoints!”

     Illusen reached into her pockets to pull out the Neopoints, but found them empty. “Jhudora, do you have any money?”

     “Why don’t you have any?!” Jhudora asked indignantly.

     “I came across a little Baby Kacheek who had dropped his Halloween Kacheek Chocolate Lollypop, so I gave him all my money so that he could buy himself another one.”

     “Oh, you bleeding heart pixie!” scowled Jhudora. “A powerful being such as myself has no need for Neopoints. Watch and learn.”

     Jhudora sauntered up to the shopkeeper and grabbed the collar of his shirt. “Listen here, pitiful human. We don’t have any Neopoints. But if you give us the items that we require, then I shall reward you with magical artifacts of ultimate power! With a Wand of the Dark Faerie, you will have the power to destroy all of your enemies, fulfil your deepest and darkest desires, and eventually you shall rule the world! What do you say, human? Will you take this opportunity of a lifetime to gain the favour of the most powerful being in all of Neopia?”

     The shopkeeper blinked. “Ma’am, this is a Neopian Fresh Foods.”

     “You dare refuse me, you insolent human?” Jhudora shouted. “I will turn you into a Belchy! Then I will turn your-“

     Illusen quickly put her hand over Jhudora’s mouth. “We’re sorry, sir. We’ll be back soon with the Neopoints.” Before Jhudora could respond, Illusen pulled her out of the store and quickly shut the door behind them.

     After two hours of furious screaming and menacing threats, Jhudora finally calmed down enough for Illusen to explain her plan.

     “We’ll just have to earn the Neopoints ourselves,” said Illusen. “And I know an easy way to get 900 Neopoints!”

     Illusen dragged Jhudora into a familiar-looking shop named Eunice’s Clothing Store. The shopkeeper, a blonde-haired woman wearing golden star-shaped sunglasses and a trendy pink scarf greeted them as they entered, complimenting them on their amazing cosplays. (“Those wings look so real!” she exclaimed.) Illusen put on a purple beret, 3-D glasses, a black formal shirt, a blue floral skirt, and a pair of pink fuzzy slippers. Then, she went up to the shopkeeper and asked, “Can I have my 300 Neopoints now?”

     The shopkeeper looked confused. “Honey, what in Neopia are you talking about?”

     “I’m playing Fashion Fever, right?” asked Illusen. “I try on some clothes and I can earn 300 Neopoints three times a day.”

     The shopkeeper blinked. “Ma’am, this is a Eunice’s Clothing Store. I have no idea what Fashion Fever is.”

     “Oh, I’m sorry,” said Illusen, pulling off the mismatched clothes that she had just put on. “Can you tell me where the Gamesroom is, then? We can play Hasee Bounce or Kass Basher for Neopoints instead.”

     “Sweetie, I can show you where the Gamesroom is, but I don’t think you’ll find what you’re looking for there.”

     “What do you mean?” asked Illusen. “Don’t all Neopians play games for Neopoints?”

     “Sugar, that makes no sense at all. Why would someone pay you to play games?”

     Illusen opened her mouth to reply, but couldn’t think of anything to say.

     The shopkeeper looked at the two of them with concern. “I’ve got an idea. If you two are in need of some Neopoints, why don’t you sell me some of your clothing? Like that thing in your pocket!” She pointed to a bracelet sticking out of Illusen’s pocket.

     “My Illusens Lucky Bracelet?” said Illusen, pulling the bracelet out of her pocket. “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell this. It was a gift from a dear, dear friend of mine.”

     Jhudora looked shocked. “I can’t believe you’ve kept that all these years.”

     Illusen turned away bashfully. “Of course I did. It made me so happy when you made this for me.”

     Jhudora pulled the bracelet out of Illusen’s hands and put it on the store counter. “Give us 900 Neopoints for this bracelet,” she said to the shopkeeper. Then, the Dark Faerie turned to Illusen and said with uncharacteristic softness, “Don’t worry. I can make another one for you.”

     “I have no idea what’s happening here,” said the shopkeeper. “But sure!” She placed a bag of Neopoints in Jhudora’s hands. “Thank you! Come again!”

     The two faeries left Eunice’s Clothing Store and walked toward Neopian Fresh Foods in embarrassed silence.

     “Hey,” said Illusen, breaking the almost visible tension between them. “I’m sorry for what I did.”

     Jhudora stopped in her tracks, but said nothing.

     “I know I can’t take it back,” continued Illusen, her voice starting to crack, “But I just want us to be friends again.”

     Jhudora handed the bag of Neopoints to Illusen. “Go get the ingredients while I make preparations for the spell.”

     Illusen wordlessly took the bag and walked off into Neopian Fresh Foods, tears falling from her face. Five minutes later, she came back with the Purple Negg and Onion and Mustard Pie in one hand and a half-eaten Mighty Steakwich in the other. Jhudora had finished with her preparations already. Jhudora began to chant: “Mystical spirits of time and space, free us from this wretched place. Let this surreal adventure end, so that I can return home with my dear friend.”

     As a brilliant light began to emerge from Jhudora’s hands, she looked over at the Earth Faerie standing beside her and smiled. “Let’s go home, Illusen.”

     The End.